Subject Traps
In abusive therapy one of the most common problems a client can run into is the subject trap. It usually comes after a tremendous amount of probing and self disclosure by the abusive therapist. It’s a subject that is usually of little or no importance to the client - but means everything to abusive therapist.
When it starts it seems so innocent - all good traps are diguised to look like this. But its ultimate aim is to pull the client into whatever reality the abuser is trying to maintain.
Sex dominates therapy - so the Sex Subject Trap comes high on list. The client problems may be sex related - but it makes no difference - if the therapist needs are of the sexual nature. A sex subject trap will be set. Gradually every session will contain a ever increasing block of time devoted to that subject.
At first the abusive therapist will talk about him or herself - self disclousure - this is to
tune into the client’s reality - but in order for his or her needs to be met he needs the client to talk - which is what the client is there for of course. That is one of the first traps in fact - “We can talk about anything here, nothing shocks me.” Which is the way it should be - but if the client wanted to talk about the subject they would be talking about it!
Another vital part of the trap is to make sure it doesn’t feel like a trap. Therefore any
resistance to the subject trap is usually changed into something that will make the client feel uneasy - not talking about the subject. Comments are made to make the client feel like that the therapy room/session is a safe place - “If you can’t talk about it with me, who can you talk about it with?” With this statement an abusive therapist will often find out how important or dependent the client as become on him or her.
Which is another vital element of the trap - isolation. The more isolated a client is - the greater the chance of the trap working. Very often a therapist will go to great lengths to make sure the client only discusses his or her problems with them. Statements are often made along the lines of “Productive therapy can only occur if you totally trust me.” or “I’m not going to tell anyone your secrets.”
What they really want to say is something like “If you don’t tell me what I want to know, I’m not going to help you.” The simple truth is that this is not going to happen anyway. A subject trap can end in two ways - the client goes along with what the therapist wants or gets rejected by the therapist when it suits the therapist.
Its a no win situation for the client - so much of therapy is. Its just another strand of the spiders web - (abusive therapy) which is another form of trap. If you feel you been caught in a subject trap. Don’t even bother to try and discuss it with the therapist - what will happen is that you will be released from that trap - but another more complex one will be set for you at a later. Just walk away slowly.
A good therapist will never lead into any kind of trap - your well being will be there number one concern - in one word - RESPECT. Something not found in abusive therapy.
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http://www.traumatised.org/
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