Breathe in, breathe out,
Lungs like trees with delicate fingers.
The mind it splits in two with pain,
One half mad,
The other half sane.
Breathe out, breathe in,
Feel like it's about to begin.
I'm standing on the stage,
Waiting in the wings,
I know the lines and rehearsed the part,
Standing here so still,
Waiting for it to start.
I know the way ahead from here,
I can feel it growing on me.
Breathe out, breathe in,
Will I stand the fight -
And which half will win?
Last time I did this blind,
Not really knowing why.
I played the game and played to win,
Delighting in the perfect sin.
Now I'm so afraid,
I know the way ahead so well,
And it's pulling me on, pulling me in.
This time it's not the same,
A little part of me is still sane,
What am I doing this for?
When there is so much to lose?
And yet I cannot refuse,
That dreadful tempting force,
I'm following a maddened course,
Every step I can know so well,
I'm walking down and into hell.
All the while I take the step,
A little voice screams out "STOP!"
But i can't walk back,
I'm heading off into black,
This pull is irresistable,
Inescapable, inevitable.
I struggle as the roots take hold,
The ivy as it spreads its fingers,
Wrapping itself around my mind,
I am walking on without really thinking,
And yet part of me knows I'm sinking,
What the hell is happening here?
Why can't I escape this thing -
If I know it's bad and I know I could fight,
Why don't I just do it right?
Why can't I fight why can't I fight?
Who went and put out the light?
Someone tell me please,
As i thrash around in these grey leaves,
Why can't I fight back?
Why won't I take the challenge
Turn around three times,
Find my way to better climes.
I'm sinking fast but I know how to swim
Why can't I beat this thing I'm in?
Why won't I struggle
Why don't I fight,
When I have the will
And i know it's right.
Why do I give in without a fight?
And why, I ask, why -
When I have a choice, I don't choose right?
