Leave the bar sometime around eleven,
say long goodbyes, with many hugs.
Withdrawing from the people I know I am small again as I
Struggle
Back to my own room.
I pass the stragglers in County bar, chat to a friendly face before
I rise slowly in the lift,
Sinking into the despair.
Sleep will not come, although I feel tired.
With a painful mind I carry out the night time rituals
My legs start to jump when I feel myself settle.
So the night begins in earnest.
Midnight
I play fructus on the
Computer
droopy eyelids.
Lie back and legs are up and at it again so do bicycles to try and sort
it out it
Doesn't help
Think about what to do.
2 a.m.
swipe card and slump in computer labs, face fixed pallid to the screen
the image glitters.
Wait for the browser as it chitters
Bizarre
talk on
lubbs
Think about leaving and shake awake
4 a.m.
count the hours to the dawn.
Yawn, sleepy, droopy head.
Shuffle
slowly
back to home.
Ache in shoulders, back of head.
Swimming
Legs are calmer now.
They jump when I sit on my bed. Stare at the computer
Wondering
Where is sleep?
Feel the sink like black hole sucking downwards
Hold on, but pricking eyes
Call someone
Not call someone
They say call them
I'll wake them up
Cry.
Up come clouds to swallow with another yawn.
6 a.m.
listen to birds outside window.
I feel like I am at the beginning of a fresh
new day
And
I
Really want sleep.
Bored.
Calmer ..
Pale blue sky outside and bird song, world is waking up
8 a.m.
I see time on clock.
The joggers are up
Fade.
