The Farnley Tour—Durham 2000

Well what a week that was! Everybody's now back home and still talking about the legendary time we all had in a City with not a lot to do but play cricket (when the weather was ok) and drink to extreme excesses!

Yet again the Farnley spirit came through in what turned out to be a very well organised international cricket festival. The only question was with a good standard expected why were we there representing England !!!???

On the Sunday morning the squad assembled for our first game against the Danish team Svanholm. Where was Noel ? Well as we all know, Mr Bullock is not that fussy when it comes to mixing with the opposite sex and he had been abducted by local aliens the previous night. As the search party was about to go out the culprit returned looking very tired. What match preparation!!

When rain put an end to the match at Brandon prematurely we were faced with a bit of a dilemma. Should we throw the bowl out and go into the loser's shield or try to knock out the reigning champions? A democratic discussion took place in the shelter of our dressing room and after much debate Mark Scaife stood up and gave a defiant Churchillian speech that silenced all. "We haven`t come all this way to win no pussy cup" he declared. Stirring stuff. The decision was made to knock them out. Bowling at a set of single stumps the challenge was on. Unfortunately Mr Scaife and his pals spoke better than they bowled and we were knocked out in sudden death. The happy losers running off the field singing about winning the pussy cup another tour highlight.

The merriment continued over tea in the clubhouse where the Danes declined to partake in a drinking competition and we were soundly beaten in a rely race by the locals. On taking over the big screen at the local pub the tone for a fine night was set as the Rhinos beat the Bulls at Odsal. The first of many late nights ensued and the legend of Room 34 was born.

Monday morning dawned and the squad meets for breakfast. Noel decides he will join us today but one of his eyebrows decided otherwise! Was it anything to do with the Aliens again perhaps ? Maybe not ! MORE