TEH ADVENTURERS OF GRABALORR!!!!1
Or, How I The Wizard Gandolf
Ringleworm Totally Kicked @$$ And PWN3D Teh Draggon
The adventure started in a tavern which is where adventures start. There were
four adventurers in the tavern, there was me the almighty
wizard
Gandolf
Ringleworm, master of spells, Snidget the halfling rogue who was always showing
off, Mungo the half-orc who was a barbarian or a fighter and Bovril the dwarf
who had nothing interesting about him whatsoever. They were in the tavern when a
dark mysterious stranger walked in and said he was looking for adventurers. The
mysterious stranger looked really dark and mysterious but not as mysterious as
me
Gandolf
Ringleworm who was the most powerful and mysterious wizard of all time who wore
a big grey cloak and wielded an iron-shot +2 quarterstaff of fire and
rocked!
So anyway this mysterious dark stranger was like "I
seek adventurers to perform a dangerous quest" and I Ringleworm
was like "I will perform your dangerous quest, stranger, for I am Ringleworm the
wizard!" and he was like "Excellent!" and things were going pretty good until
Mungo started screwing things up like a stupid half-orc. Mungo was like "Mungo
not trust dark mysterious strangers!" and everyone else was like "Shut up Mungo!"
So the mysterious stranger was like "I still seek adventurers for a dangerous quest" and we were like "We said we'd do it, didn't you hear us?" and he was like "Oh sorry, I thought the half-orc was like your leader or something" but then Bovril went "WHAT! Bovril the dwarf works not for the half-orcs! Half-orcs are EVIL!"
That's when the fight started. Mungo went "You take
that back stupid dwarf!" and Bovril was like "Yeah? I've got a greataxe mate so
watch it" and Mungo went "Mungo got greataxe too, GRAAAR!" and he swung his axe
and hit Bovril hurting him pretty bad. Bovril was like "HAH! That didn't kill me
puny half-orc" and swung his axe and missed and Snidget and me
Gandolf Ringleworm laughed because Bovril is an idiot. Everyone
was laughing at Bovril and placing bets on how long he'd last and Ringleworm bet
250 gp on Bovril being cleaved in twain. The dark mysterious stranger started
getting angry and was like "Stop fighting guys I've got a quest where you can
win lots of gold" and that stopped Bovril fighting because he's a dwarf and
dwarfs always want gold. Snidget wasn't listening then because he gets bored
easily and was getting drunk on dwarven spirits and trying to score. He ended up
scoring with a really ugly woman who was like sixty and Mungo and
Gandolf Ringleworm laughed.
Anyway Bovril got bored and was like "Tell me about the quest human" and the mysterious stranger was like "You don't know I'm human" and Bovril was like "I thought you were human" and the stranger went "How do you know I'm human, dwarf" and Bovril was like "I didn't say I was a dwarf" and everyone else was like "Yes you did, DUHHHHH!" because Bovril is stupid.
Anyway Bovril got mad and was like "I've got a greataxe, shut up or I'll cleave you in twain!" and the mysterious stranger was like "Yeah, right" and Bovril swung his axe and cleaved him in twain and we were like "Bovril you idiot you've ruined the adventure" and he was like "I've got a greataxe, shut up" and Mungo was like "I've got a BIGGER greataxe, shut up" and while they were trying to cleave each other in twain another mysterious dark stranger came in and went "I seek adventurers for a dangerous quest."