Last year as I turned another year into my thirties I realised that something was missing. The realisation that I would not play for West Ham, own a chain of massage parlours or be a private advisor to a Middle Eastern oil baron had long since passed. Now I wanted something more meaningful, deeper and spiritual.
I needed to search for a higher consciousness, to experience life in the moment of its existence, without constant mental distractions. Any organisation with a loose fitting and brightly coloured dress code was out; Henry Rollins style 'anger management' was too scary, so I resolved to buy a motorbike.
I took the direct access test and bought a Honda CB500 from a 'Sarf' London dealer. They were very nice but before long I had a concern that the engine was making a 'funny noise' and proceeded to explain to the mechanic with a raspberry sound. He responded by stating "Well its obvious innit", pointing at the lump of metal between the wheels.
A month later I had been to the showroom half a dozen times nervously scratching that I think something maybe wrong. I knew them all by name and they would politely inform me that I did not know much about bikes.
It was desperate, I loved riding, knew nothing about looking after my bike and was therefore doomed to pay a mechanic and hope they knew what they were doing. I feared that sooner or later I would end up in a ditch because I did not know how to check the bits that stop you ending up in a ditch.
I also had to inform my loved one that I am in massive debt and have to sell the car to pay for all the mechanics time. Then a miracle happened, I was informed of the motorbike workshop, a charitable organisation that teaches you to look after your own bike. It is run every Saturday in Laindon, Essex by Dave and Pauline, the workshop organisers. Dave a qualified aircraft engineer and his wife Pauline know all there is to know about bikes! They teach you how to maintain and fix your own bike at a labour charge considered intolerable in many Far Eastern countries. The cost is £2 per hour (this money goes to pay for more tools and equipment) plus any use of consumables.
Since going I have learnt to align my wheels, tighten chain, balance carbs, adjust suspension, change wheels, change brake fluid as well as a host of other minor adjustments. I am learning to ensure that the bike I ride is safe as well as in great nick.
Loads of other people go to the workshop too. It has been running for nearly eleven years and many people attend just to help others. There is always a spare pair of eyes and hands to assist in any job and all are welcome, even custom bikes.
Then last week Pauline told me that Laindon Community Centre want the garage back. They want more money as they believe it is being under used. Not since the demise of 'That's Life' have I felt so gutted. The idea that such an important community group should collapse is terrible.
Margaret Thatcher stated that there is no such thing as community; the motorbike workshop proves she was wrong. People learn new skills and later teach others how to care for their own bikes. No one makes a profit and the result is that more bikes are on the road that are safe and well maintained. Most people cannot afford to have their bikes looked at on weekly basis and there is nowhere else that offers a similar service.
Dave and Pauline are seeking alternative premises and hopefully this fantastic service can be saved. Elton John has offered to release a single to raise funds and so far we have managed to put him off. If no alternative premises can be sought we may (and this is not a threat, just informing you of the potential consequences) be forced to let him spearhead the campaign.