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Welcome to the dubious depths of the Dyke's life, where she attempts to Bait Mastery... Sit back and enjoy!
December 8th 1998
The Dyke opens her little journal with a sad tale to tell. She has lost her heart again, which she has to admit is a bit careless and she is a tad pissed off about it as she was trying so hard to keep a tract of it. However the good news is that she thinks she knows where she might have left it and is hopefully that she will get it back soon. She is quite pleased with herself as she thinks she has choosen a slightly better home for it this time, as the girlie who has it is neither straight nor involved with anyone. So she figures that next time the girlie might even like her as well. Well she has to dream as miracles do occasionally happen or at least the Dyke hopes so.
However the Dyke has resolved that the only way she will ever entrap the perfect woman is to have the body of a Goddess so that no one will be able to resist her. She has to admit it is difficult for women to resist her as it is but perfection can be improved upon and she owes it to the Dyke community. She has a mission...
December 13th 1998
Now the Dyke knows that she will not normally write this often, but hell why start as you mean to go on, that is just so passé. So why is The Dyke writing again? Well she went to Cambridge and realised that she was a fool to move to London as she had just the best time. Spent the afternoon in the pub playing pool and chatting to the delectable Alice, who is her psychological twin. It is nice to know that there is someone out there who is as bizarre as yourself. The Cambridge Dykes also renewed her faith in Dykes everywhere. Attractive, intelligent and slightly fucked up Dykes really do exist. The Dyke can now die happy.
December 18th 1998
The Dyke has managed to cross that boundary into mild insanity, but it is a nice insanity and as soon as she gets over the fact that she failed to spell the month correctly she will be a bit better. What can she say, she is a dyslexic sub-editor, but four 'e's in December was just a tad slack.
Now the Dyke was going to write about how quality life was at the moment, and it still is. And how, if she could have found a tattooist in London (go figure) she would have got her 'second' tattoo. But instead lack of sleep and the insanity of the world around her (Iraq is being bombed, Clinton is trying to avoid impeachment, and one has to wonder if the two are somehow linked as there is nothing like a well placed war to help divert attention, and This Dyke is having trouble taking her job seriously) has all helped to push her slightly over the edge. But it is terrible fun, and she is sure enjoying her mirth. And she gets to see Gill tomorrow.
Now Gill was a Cambridge Dyke but now she is in San Francisco taking it easy as a postgrad. However, she has popped back to torment her poor friends that are stuck in sunny England. But we still love her loads so we forgive her as long as we can visit her lots. Bonus ball or what?
Anyway This Dyke believe that she may have lost any coherence she might have started with so she shall bid you a fine good night, as she tries to decided which colour to use for this entry, one has to focus on the important things in life.
December 21st 1998
'Tis the season to be jolly. Except This Dyke is feeling a little bar humbug-ish. She thinks it could be something to do with the 12 hours sleep she has had over the last three days (and before you even think it, it was purely down to work and rowing), or maybe the fact that she doesn't get a Christmas break and is working solidly through December (with neary a weekend off in over a month), but then again it could have something to do with her lack of anyone to snog under the mistletoe (well mistletoe is becoming an endangered species in England so all for the better she figures). But then like the Murphy's, she's not bitter. Though she may watch a tad too much telly at times, but what else is she meant to do at work? (smirk)
However, with it being the season of good cheer she is using her three days off this week to go visit her family and really "IT WILL BE FUN". Well if nought else at least her parents have central heating which is one up on her present abode. The Dyke may well consider moving as the only other relatively normal lesbian in her houseshare has just moved to Holland. Maybe the next lesbian will be cute, sane and fancy The Dyke? Somehow The Dyke doubts it, anyone who chooses to live in her neck of the woods must be a tad dubious. The Dyke's only excuse for moving there was that she was new to London and didn't realise what a dive it really was. Honest guv.
Anyway This Dyke has decided that sane and cute Dykes do not actually exist and are just urban myths. If, however, anyone thinks that The Dyke is wrong why not prove it by sending a photo and ten reasons why you are sane and she might just reconsider.
December 30th 1998
This Dyke thinks that maybe Christmas is just an excuse for all those people you haven't talked to for a year to get back in contact with you and for Grandparents to send you the most bizarre gifts invented. But maybe she is just a tad cynical. But at least the tables have turned as it was her last year contacting her ex. Well she only actually has two exes, sort of, and she is in denial about one, may all Diannes burn in hell. For some reason The Dyke doesn't do Girlfriends at the mo. She figures that there could be many reason for this. The Night shifts, the obsession with rowing at 7am, or maybe the complete lack of Dykelife at the mo in her little life. Oh yeah and her hair sucks as she is trying to grow it beyond a Grade 3. But apart from that she is a great catch if you can find her. (smirk)
However, there is a rumour that she might get to a dyke haunt tonight with two of the cutest dykes, Crawford and Dulcie. So you never know... Except, sureally, she actually likes her present single celibate life.
January 11th 1999
Gee This Dyke loves January, It's dark and it is buggeringly cold at the moment. This Dyke doesn't like cold as cold and motorcycles don't mix well but hey her house is freezing as well so she should be getting used to it. However, there is a ray of sunlight in This Dyke's life. She's got a new housemate. A cute housemate at that. Also this Dyke has a little bit in common with this girlie as she is a boxford girlie and This Dyke was a Cambridge bird. You just can't beat that Oxbridge link, intellectual snobbery rules!
Now that is not to say that This Dyke has anything against other education institutions and she has no problems with peoples level of education. However, This Dyke has found that some people have an issue with the fact that she went to Cambridge and she has had friends who refused to speak to her after she went to Cambridge. So for her mental stability she likes to hang around with people who don't diss her for her education and don't think her too weird for her educational pursuits. Basically Oxbridge birds are safe bets as they have gone through the same shit as This little Dyke. So hate her if you have to but don't fuck with her about her brains.
January 21th 1999
The Dyke is a little pissed off. Now she figures she has a number of very good reasons for this, the fact her beloved motorbike is now a pile of scrap metal seems quite a good bet. But she has to admit that she is more annoyed by the fact that she was hit by a VW Polo. She asks you, a Polo, couldn't it even have been a decent car? However, This Dyke has realised that there are advantages to being knocked of your bike that she never realised before. One being the pulling potential, she meet the most cute dyke while she was lyeing in the middle of the road, unfortunately she forgot to get her number, but she was called katy. So if you are out there...
This Dyke would like to reasure everyone that she is actually completely unhurt, apart from a little bruise on her arm. So, you see, there was a good point to all that leather gear...
Her bike, however, will never drive again. So it is just as well her insurance company will give her a brand new one isn't it? This Dyke can however think of nicer ways to get a new bike, which didn't involve six hours in a hospital with the company of a mad woman, who talked to herself loudly and a two year old running around as it's mother had been beaten up by her partner and could cope with her little Jason. Only to be told that her arm was badly bruised and would not even need an X-ray. But you can't beat it as an experience.
At least she used her day off work to get tickets to see Ani play so that is well cool.
January 27th 1999
This Dyke is getting seriously pissed off at her lack of a motorbike. Buses and tubes take way too long especially when you live in the arse end of London. Grrr!!! Though if This Dyke was to be completely honest she would have to admit that she just doesn't like London, especially the bit she lives in and would love to move. Maybe to San Francisco or failing that Cambridge or some other suburbia where houses don't cost half a million and there is parking and people don't run her over. Not that she is bitter about the destruction of her beautiful bike or anything.
It was completely not her fault, the other driver is being charged with 'driving without due care or attention' but The Dyke is left taking the sodding bus till the insurance company decide to give her a hire bike. Grrr!!!! Seriously less than impressed!!!
February 4th 1999
This Dyke is pissed but she is dealing with it. She hasn't been selected for the boat she wanted at her boat club. Now this may seem like no big deal except the Dyke knows she is better than the bitches that got in. She has proven herself stronger fitter and better but somehow the numbers are always crunched so she doesn't get in. This may seem just like sour grapes but she doesn't give a shit as she knows she should be there and she will prove them wrong. She has also decided to get a new job and a new flat. So hopefully she can bodge it so she will not have to find a new home for this little old site but you never can tell.
Oh yeah good news. She gets a new hire bike tomorrow and maybe soon she will get that brand spanking new motorbike her insurance company keep promising
February 13th 1999
The Dyke is having difficulty taking her life seriously. First she loses her beloved motorbike in a head on collision, second she is dropped from the rowing squad and now she has lost her job along with 44 other people at her company. The dyke has to wonder what is left.
She guesses the next thing is to lose her room and have to move back to her parents. Though she has to think her landlady is completely mad so maybe that would be not such a bad thing. Though she does have another new housemate, Moira, who seems quite cool and not that mad. Best being that Kate and Moira cook for the Dyke occasionally, now you can't say fairer than that can you?
The Dyke is a bit scared as she has to get a new job, which means new people. The Dyke is not sure she can cope with that at the moment. You see the Dyke works night shifts on her own, so her interpersonal skills suck a bit but she figures she can blag it in an interview surely? Only time will tell...
February 20th 1999
The Dyke sits in the office listening to XFm trying to find the words to describe the lastest instalement of her little old life. Now she can think of many things to say but the most import being that Em is a goddess of adorability. She is sweetness and all things wonderful in a life which otherwise could be a bit depressing. Over the top? The dyke thinks not. Now Em is het, married actually, but she is still the dykes best mate. She may never read this but the dyke don't care cos Em cares and you just can't buy that.
The dyke was never really very good at friends but with Em she seems to be getting better. Hell if she can cry in front of the girl what else is left? So it doesn't matter that the Dyke could be unemployed in a matter of days, it doesn't matter that The Dyke has seven fresh scars on her arm, it doesn't matter that her bike is a write off. None of this matter cos the dyke has a mate.
Now those of you who have read about the dykes little self harm thang. You might wonder why she chose to cut herself after so long clean when she had this great mate. Well she knows for once that it wasn't to test to see if the mate cared enough to notice so don't you go thinking that. She did it because she need to, else she would have had a nervous breakdown and we can't be having that sort of behaviour. Talking (even if she was capable of it) would not have stopped it. Sometimes the old ways are the best. Ok it is a bit sick but it worked and she didn't blow her brains out so be thankful for small mercies. Em was great and everything the Dyke could ask for in a mate but ultimately the dyke must take responsibility for her own life and sometimes you have to do things on your own. Friends are not meant to be crutchs upon which you live your own life now are they?
Anyway the dyke better go and do some work in her final shifts...
February 22nd 1999
The Dyke is soaring high on the bungee jump of her emotions, it's way cool. She has even met this cute dyke. Well two actually. Can't make life easy now can we? And Ani just rocked in her gig. It was just so cool. Made this liitle Dyke happy as. She has to admit that she even likes Ani's new album, contrary to some of her mates opinion. All she can say is that it is quite different but it definitely grows on you.
This Dyke is actually looking forward to unemployment. Well you see it kicks her butt into getting a better job as she has been promising for ages. It means she can actually go and see her friends as she will be awake at the right time (Night shifts so suck socially). She can, like, do normal things. And you never know she might meet someone and manage to maintain a relationship with them. Scary thought (smirk).
The only down side to her existance at the moment is that her arm itches terribly. She forgot that side of self harm. No fun! Though she has made a conscious decision that she will no longer be ashamed of her scars and if people can't deal with them fine but she ain't going to go out of her way to cover them up. It's not attention seeking but her scars are now as much a part of her as her hair cut. She knows people don't like her doing it, but it is sort of hard to explain but she doesn't feel any remorse over her act. She figures if she tries to demonise it, that won't help, so she is trying to sort it out by first accepting it and then see what happens. What is the point in feeling guilt about the act which is meant to be a release? Anyway, as the saying goes, if you have to explain it they will never understand the explaination. So this is a garbled explaination cos no one will get it who didn't get it before, no matter what the Dyke says.
March 25th 1999
Oh my God the Dyke has got to apologise for not updating this sooner but she has an excuse. Well she lost her cushy number of a job which allowed her amply time to update her site whenever she wanted and started working for a company that, shock horror, does not have internet access at her work station. What is a girl meant to do? But she is back now and soon will get connected at home so she can be even more of a geek than before, cool or what?
Life has been quite interesting for the Dyke in the last month as she has got a new job, got bored of it already, got a new motorbike to replace the one that a callous car driver crumpled, it is a lovely British racing green and when she gets a photo of it she will put it up to replace the other photo of her old and sadly dead bike.
This Dyke has also decided to move, she hasn't told her house-mates yet but she is sure that they will understand but now she neither works nor trains anywhere near where she lives she just can't see the point of living in a shit area, now can she. Also she has to pay for insurance on her motorbike and she thinks the premiums might be a little high in dodgy South-East London.
Anyway that is a short synopsis of the important things in the Dykes life, about the only other interesting thing to happen was a Baby Dyke got a crush on the Dyke. Sweet but you would wont to keep one, now would you? So the Dyke has been really well behaved and tried to foist her off on some of her mates. It really is for her own good, you know that don't you?
Anyway so that is the excitement so far and the Dyke just promises that she will be back lots and lots now that she has found a way back into the internet.
April 30th 1999
Oh my god the Dyke is almost getting as bad as DWA in updating her web pages. She blames it on the difficulty of getting on the web. You might call her lazy but she staunchly denies that.
Anyway the Dyke is really impressed as someone has just told her that Monday is a bank holiday so she doesn't have to come into work, cool eh? Well it made her happy.
The Dyke figures that life seems to move on but stay the same. She has finally moved out of her nightmare house but appears to have moved back with the parents, duh how did that happen? She says it is only a short term thang until she actually gets her arse into gear and finds somewhere new to live but you have to wonder sometimes. The Dyke is working day shifts but seems to be rowing in all her freetime so figures that must be why she is still single, apart from the lack of talent around of course (smirk).
Apart from that her Motorbike is quite health and still talks to the Dyke.
The Dyke spent a pleasant (?) week near Bordeaux recently with her BoatClub and figures she has only completely pissed off about two people and one of them is talking to her again so that it good. Communal living has never really suited The Dyke as she really needs her space. But she figure she didn't do anything too bad so that is alright.
Anyway that is Dyke life at the mo, rowing, working and ... she is sure there must be something else, but she can't quite put her finger on it at the moment. Ho hum she is sure it will come to her soon.
June 27th 1999
The Dyke is back in business. Lineone have employed this little old dyke to work weekends (bit of a cunt, but can't have everything) which once means the Dyke is back in contact with the Internet and now she is a happy bunny. Apart from that her real job is still dull as and she needs something better in her life. Love life is interesting but non-existent which she has to think she prefers. Though she leaves a trail of broken hearts in her wake (as if). Apart from that life goes on.
July 4th 1999
What can the dyke say? Pride, sorry Mardi Gras, was interesting. She managed to bump into a number of people she had been avoiding for years and a few people she was trying to find so that was good. Weird though how you bump into people in a crowd of 100,000. Weather was good.
This little dyke did get a little drunk though and felt a little worse for wear this morning, she also has this disturbing memory of being dragged up to do Karakoe to a song she had never heard of in her life. Singing was never this little dykes strong point. However, She is sure it could have been worse. Actually it was very good as she bumped into a girl she rather liked and for once she doesn't want to run away screaming but then that could have somethign to do with the fact that this girlie doesn't trust this little Dyke one iota due to past experience. All good fun and maybe this Dyke isn't as hopeless a case as all that.
Apart from that the Dyke is happy as she has just got another site up and live Beavers with Cleavers, which is actually the unoffical Website of Thames Rowing Club. Why Thames has a beaver is a long story and you are just going to have to read the website if you want the answer to all your questions. However, this dyke can tell you now that you will find no pictures of her cute little ass on that page, sorry to disappoint you all.
Shame she has to go back to boring job tomorrow as she was rather enjoying her life. hey ho. Onward to the weekend!!!
July 25th 1999
Well this dyke has been having some fun and some not so fun but she is getting really confused as she no longer knows who is reading her site, she figures she wants her lack of reality back. she also realises that this site needs a major overhaul and is thinking maybe of a rebranding, not sure as what yet but she is worried that too many people are taking her fist fucking flap licking dyke facade a tad too seriously, ever heard of humour guys????
Anyway this Dyke had a mission, she has to find family friendly dyke and gay boy sites, do they exist? Do you know of any site that your mother wouldn't find offensive or maybe that should be that the dyke's mother doesn't find offensive and you have to remember that she is an executive member of the Lace Guild and the Townswomen's Guild, guess you never thought the dyke was serious suburban middle class white trash? The Dyke is in denial of course about her heritage. Though she was dead pleased to find out that the nail bomber drank at the pub at the end of her road, quality or what? At least she is thankful she didn't go to school with the little fuck as he went to another school, but it was only for luck that it turned out that way. Scarey or what?
Anyway there is to be a gay and lesbian zone in Lineone and they want some friendly sites so if you know of any drop the dyke a line. And before you fret the dyke is trying to get them to diversify into a queer world so bi babe's and TG's, to name but a few, can come and play as well. The more the merrier!! August 24th 1999
The dyke feels bad that she has been away for so long, but she has a great excuse, she has been moving back into London, cool eh? You don't know how many boxes this girl had to lug around!
She is in this great house with a really sweet irish gay boy who is always stoned and a weird polish straight girl and all in SW suburbia. got to be happy with that. Well this little dyke is anyway. she even has a king size bed for the first time in her life, so maybe, just maybe her dyke life might take off (smirk)
Also her little web design business is actually starting to go somewhere, which means she is getting painfully embarrased and promises a revamp soon.
Anyway this little dyke can't really talk atthe moment but don't change the channel, next instalment soon. (smirk)
August 28th 1999
Less than a week and back on line, what can be going wrong? The dyke's life is obviously getting better and this only can be better for all you out there, now can't it? More contact with everyone's favourite non-heterosexually defined babe, you have got to be happy with that. Anyway the Dyke was well impressed as she got her arse into gear and checked out her favourite dyke, DWA, music site and it fucking rocks and the the music is the serious dogs bollocks. Design also is rather spiffing, So check it out you infidels www.siobahn.com.
Of course this means in an attempt to keep up with the dykes about town this little old dyke now has to learn flash, but her brother has said it is a piece of piss. So someday soon she will increase her world and create another gratuitous site. Cool eh? Someday soon Dykes will rule the internet!!!!!
August 29th 1999
Oh mi god, you just have to check this one out: www.rainbownetwork.co.uk. It is a new "Lesbian and Gay Lifestyle Online" and it is actually rather good. Brought to you with serious style and the content is quite cool.
Haven't quite got the hang of the navigation, This dyke can never work out where she is, which is bad. But you do wonder aimlessly into some seriously cool stuff. The women's erotica based in the piercing studio got this little old dyke a little wet, which is always nice. It is new so you will not find hundreds of people in the chat room but the dyke can forsee this really picking up. Just check it out. You have nothing to lose. It is free and the pictures are excellent. This dyke wants to work for them cos it is the dogs bolloxs.
The dyke decided her life was so interesting that she decided that she would have to split her journal up as it was getting way too big for easy access. So if you want to discover the dyke's past and present then just click on the bits you want...
Dyke far past (the year before November 1999)
Dyke less past (November 1999 to June 2001)
Dyke present (everything after June 2001)
world domination
