An Attitude Of Gratitude

It is said that gratitude begets a balanced heart...that it expands our capacity to be generous, sensitive, kind, merciful, forgiving, tolerant and tender. A busy world, a busy life, a busy existence, though, can cloud our place in the greater scheme of things.

Gratitude is a tool that opens our heart to those around us so we can recognise the good in others, even when their behaviour is less than considerate. Being thankful, and saying "thank you" can instantly lift us up, whether we are thankful for our opportunities, or our struggles. Surely, gratitude comes to us easiest when our lives are in order -- when the bills are paid, when our health is good, when the children are behaving, or when our job fulfils us.

Yet it is during times of great challenge that we have the most opportunity to feel grateful. During these times, we know our hardship will deliver a lesson that refines our character. It isn't easy, nor is it realistic to feel grateful at all times. Yet, it is when we feel least thankful that we are most in need of the comfort that gratitude can offer us. As author Marianne Williamson so eloquently wrote, "Gratitude is an opener of locked-up blessings". We may not always be grateful for our pain, either physical or emotional, but we can be grateful for the fact that it is always meaningful. It is often second-nature to practise gratitude when we feel our lives are enriched and fulfilling.

The concept of practising gratitude becomes more meaningful, though, when we give thanks not only for what we have ~ but for what we have escaped! When difficulties arise, ask yourself, "What is the lesson for me in this?" When you can give thanks in the midst of your turmoil, know that you are becoming your finest.

Consider five things about your life that you would NOT change. Say them aloud, then write them down. When you dwell on all the reasons you have to be grateful, you open yourself to receiving even more fulfilment in life. The more that "good" comes to you, the more you feel abundant, and you'll be willing and able to pass positive things on to others. Ask yourself: "What are the good things about my life that I am overlooking?" Keep a "gratitude journal" - a small notebook to remind you each morning or each evening of the things in your life for which you can be and feel grateful. Feeling appreciative of someone or something in your life actually attracts more of the things that you value into you life.

Try this: Choose someone in your life; a partner, friend, relative for whom you are exceptionally thankful. Think of reasons why you feel grateful to have this person in your life and write those reasons down in a letter, in a note, on a scrap of paper. When your list feels full, share these things with that special person in your life. The point about gratitude and kindness is not to pay it back but to pass it on!

Copyright 2002, Ellen Bower
All rights reserved

Beyond Fear: Becoming Bigger, Better and Bolder

Living from a place of fear and drama is sometimes a habit of life. But it doesn't have to be our chosen way of living. Things that challenge us, such as different perspectives, new ways of behaviour, and more liberated ways of thinking all contribute to our fear of the unknown, change. Our status quo tells us "Don't trust it; it's safer for you to suffer." We feel safe when we suffer because it's something known. When we venture into virtues such as happiness or love, we often feel apprehensive or fearful because we are asked to open our hearts to the unexpected.

Today's world is filled with opportunities to become better. But fear of the unknown is a strong practise in our culture. Holding our selves back to make other people comfortable is a frequently encouraged behaviour. Living bigger and better is an ambition often met with disapproval. Those who live life to the fullest are labelled "over the top" or "failure waiting to happen". The "Tallest Poppy" syndrome dictates that it isn't nice to rise above the others and benefit from the best that life has to offer.

Sadly, since childhood, most of us have learned that if we look too good on the outside, people may not like us. We accept that we must not be better than anyone else, or people will talk about us and make accusations such as "who do they think they are!" We learn that lessons in life shouldn't come easy because others might wonder "what awful things we might be doing to become so successful!" If we rise too high, people may be upset with us for moving beyond what they think we should be.

Certainly, if we are not clear about who we are, then we will fall prey to the insecurities of these people. And when we fall prey to these assumptions, we do things we don't want to do because fear - not wisdom - controls us. Often, in response to others' insecurities, we do our best to remain the way they want us to be, in a place where they are most comfortable having us in their lives. Author James Allen writes encouragingly about the immense power of vision we can have of our lives. "Cherish your visions, your ideals, the music that stirs in your heart. If you remain true to them, your world will at last be built." Quite often people can talk us out of our greatness because they are uncomfortable when we start to rise. Yet it is this rising that demonstrates how their perspective of us is not true. Until now, perhaps you have allowed others' opinions and perspectives of you to prohibit your rising. Ask yourself these questions:

~ What is one thing I've always wanted to do, but allowed someone's opinions to stop me?

~ How can I move beyond the limiting expectations that others have of me?

~ In what ways have I imposed my opinion on someone else and prevented their shining

Dare to move beyond the trappings of fear, to a life that is bigger, better and bolder than you ever imagined. Become a role model for cherishing your visions and your ideals and you will not only build your own world from integrity...you will challenge those around you to own the happiness that is silently waiting to be claimed by them too!

Copyright 2002, Ellen Bower. All rights reserved.