BULLYING/YOUTH INTERNAL LINKS

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“Please, I need a place of peace. I need to walk free.”

Welcome...

       Welcome to this area of the site. However old you are - 8 or 18, we hope you can find some help and encouragement from this page. If you are under 10, you may need to find a friend or an adult who you feel you can trust, to help you understand the page and the advice contained in it. Look below at the headings, and we hope you will find a subject which is relevant to whatever problems or stresses you have been having. We are trying to provide the contact details of organisations which may be able to help you, as well as helpful Web links and helpful advice.

        You can also send in your stories of the problems you have been experiencing. You do not have to suffer alone; it may help you to put into words how you feel from your bad experiences. For example, you could write about your experience of being bullied, and your fears. Just click here (or on the link at the top) to go to the “Stories - Bad Times”, page, where you can read the stories of others, and learn how to send in your own by e-mail. Also, you can send us positive stories - if you have gone through hard times, and are now in a better situation. You might explain what helped you, perhaps some supportive friends or your faith in God. Click here or on the links at the top of the page for the “Stories with hope” page.

       As I have said, by sharing - if you want to share, your own suffering may be eased in some way. Also, you can also allow others to know that they are not alone in the problems that they experience. For the moment, be reassured that you are not the only child or young person who suffers - whether from bullying, sexual abuse, loneliness or whatever. Please remember that you may find other areas of the site useful, as these cover problems such as feeling emotional pain or emptiness inside, and how you can get help from other people, and particularly from God. Just look at the button names on the side bar to the left, and click on any of them.

School Bullying

       If you are being bullied, that is terrible. I remember when I was bullied at School, and the feeling of fear and dread at the thought of going to School was horrible. Equally, the feeling of joy at not being at School, or finishing the day, was a big relief. You should not have to experience these extremes. However, life is hard sometimes - and things happen which are very unfair.

Getting Help

       First of all, I want to talk about some of the ways to get help if you are being bullied. One way is by calling Childline (in the UK). This is a free phone number where you can talk to someone on the other end of the phone about your problems, and get some advice about what you can do. The number is 0800 1111 (UK number). However, at the time of writing, this charity help line has been having a lot of problems providing enough people to answer the telephone - so you may not be able to get through. So, you can also try The Samaritans, which is a help line for anyone, of any age, who wants to talk about problems that they are experiencing. The number is 0845 790 9090 (UK).

       You should also try to talk to a friend or adult - perhaps your parents, about what has been happening. Talk to anyone you trust, as it is good to share your troubles. If your parents won’t listen to you, keep on telling them. If they still won’t listen to you, try to find a teacher at school who will. It is very important that you get your parents or a teacher to face the bullies and make them realise that they can get into trouble for what they do. Even if you feel afraid that worse things will happen to you if you tell teachers and the bullies find this out, why not do it anyway? Can it really be any worse than it is? And do you really believe that bullies will keep their threats about what they will do if you tell on them (although sometimes I know they will)? Hopefully they will get scared off when teachers get involved. I cannot promise that telling teachers will necessarily resolve all of the problems. It should do, but teachers cannot be there to prevent bullying all of the time. At the end of the day - you are being bullied anyway now, so you may as well try to do something about it.

We care, and so does God

        I hope you can find some help from the ideas above. However, whether you can or not, do not panic. There is still hope. First of all, this site exists for you. You are not alone. The reason why we are here is to recognise that many people in this world suffer as you do. Even if we do not know you personally, you are not forgotten. Write your feelings, experiences and thoughts down, where no one else can find them. Also, please write to us by e-mail, about your problems - if you want. We will try to read your e-mail, and we will also publish some of the e-mails on the site, without any names included. Please read the introduction at the top of the page, which explains how to go about doing this.

         You may believe in God, and perhaps you may be a Christian already. Whether you are a Christian or not, we want to encourage you that there is a God in existence, who cares about how we all feel - whether we are happy or sad. Even if you do not know whether you believe this, why not pray to God. Tell him about how you feel, and ask him for help. Click here to read more about what it means to be a Christian, and know Jesus as a friend in your life.

         Lastly, I want to talk to you just a little about fear. This is probably the worst thing about being bullied - the feeling that you know that you are about to be picked on by one or more people, and that there is nothing that you can do about it. It could be that you are just attacked through horrible words, or it could be that you are physically hurt. Both of these attacks hurt in different ways. Fear is normal - it is understandable. However, knowing that God is there with you - even when you are being bullied, can really help. God understands completely how you feel. He shares your fear, sadness and sense of isolation. Believe the truth - if you can, that you are certainly not worthless. You are special, and God loves you. That’s why he sent Jesus to the earth 2,000 years ago to die for you. Jesus died on the cross so that you could be forgiven by God for all of the things you have done wrong. You are very special to God, and he is with you.

        There is a reason why you can resist feeling fear when facing bullies. Jesus is with you, even though you cannot see him. Even if bullies can make your suffer, hurt you and make your life a misery, they cannot take away your friendship with Jesus. There is nothing that they can say or do to stop that friendship. All you have to do is start talking to Jesus again - anytime, and you will remember that he is with you, listening and encouraging you. If you are afraid that Jesus will abandon you, do not be. Even if others have done this to you, Jesus promises in the Bible that,

        “I will never leave you, or forsake you” (The Bible, Joshua 1:5, Deuteronomy 31:6).

        He is always there, even if life is really horrible and scary, and it certainly does not feel as if he is with you. If you are feeling guilty about something you have done wrong, which you know is separating you from Jesus, just say sorry to him, and he will forgive you. Again, God promises in the Bible that he will forgive people’s sins (1 John 1:8,9).

        Even if you feel that no one else cares - there is no doubt at all (according to my experience, and that of many millions of people in the world), that Jesus cares for you. If you have a problem believing this - at least accept form us that we at this site care about you. I who am writing care about you. If you do not know much about Jesus, and what he did when he lived on earth, why not read the “Gospels” in the Bible - Matthew, Mark, Luke or John. You can also look at the links below.

Anti-Bullying Organisations & Web links:

Childline - Tel. 0800 1111 (Free UK number), www.childline.org.uk.

Pupilline - www.pupilline.net.

The Samaritans (UK) - Tel. 0845 790 9090.  www.samaritans.org.uk  (check for international links and contact numbers)

NSPCC (Charity that helps children, UK) - Tel. 0808 800 5000. (0800 056 0566, text phone).

Get Connected (UK, general help, particularly if you have run away from home, Free number) - Tel. 0800 096 0096.

www.bullying.co.uk. Also Kidscape helpline (UK) - Tel. 02077303300.

Not a Christian?

Chat to Christians to find out more; www.conline.net/interactive/chat/, www.gtm.org/cyberchurch/chat.htm, also search www.tripod.com and www.talkcity.com. Also check out “General Christian Youth Contacts and Links” at the bottom of the page.

www.alphacourse.org.uk. (UK). This site contains information about how to find a Church near to you which is running a special informal chat-based course on investigating the Christian faith.

www.gideons.org/your_invitation.html - this link takes you straight to a page on the Gideons International site. It explains the essential elements of being a Christian, and gives you a further opportunity to receive Jesus as your saviour from sin. If you browse the site, you can learn a lot about the Bible’s teaching, and what it means to be a Christian.

www.Church.co.uk - an interesting, relevant and interactive site for people interested in the Church.

www.cidir.org - Christian Internet Directory. Click on “About Jesus”.

Other Child and Youth Issues

        There are a lot of different problems and pressures that you may be experiencing if you are a child, or a young person (in your teens, or almost in your teens!). Bullying is just one of these problems. You could be lonely. You may be suffering abuse, sexual or physical. You could feel depressed. Maybe your parents are in the process of a divorce, which is painful for everyone, including yourself. Perhaps your parents are irresponsible, and get involved in drugs or the occult. Maybe they take little notice of you. Maybe they take too much notice; they don’t give you enough freedom, and they try to control your life. It could be that you are under pressure to (or want to) “take things all the way” sexually, with a boyfriend or girlfriend. We at the site think that to do this would be a big mistake. We explain why in the section below. It would be very hard to address each of these issues individually, but I want to say just a few things to hopefully help and encourage many of you.

How to get Help

       Some of the advice in this section is quite similar to that found in  the section above on bullying. You might want to read that section as well as this, if you have not already done so. It is really important that you tell other people about the problems that you are experiencing, even if you are afraid of what they will think of you. Make sure you only tell a friend, or someone else that you know, who you know you can actually trust. You don’t want them telling the whole world about what’s going on. You should also try to get some practical help. Have a look at the links and contacts below.

       Describe to God how you feel. Having said this, maybe you are not currently a Christian. Whether you are a Christian or not, have a look at the section above called “We care, and so does God”. It explains how God can help you by walking with you through your problems. Also, if you are not a Christian, the contact points and links below might be interesting, under ”Not a Christian?”. If you have a relationship with Jesus, you can tell him about how you feel. You know he is with you whatever the problems you have, or the pain you feel. Have a look at the side bar of buttons to the left. For example, if you are depressed, you can get some support from the material and links in the section “Depressed/ Hurt”.

Pressure/Temptation to be Sexually Active

         So, why do we think it is worth avoiding having sex when it is available to you? Well, at the site, we firmly believe that sex should only be for marriage. Call us old fashioned, some of you may, but that’s our position. More importantly, though, is to say why. We must have some reason. When you want to go ahead and enjoy the pleasures of youth, and nothing’s stopping you, why throw a spanner in “nature’s” works? Well, basically, because it is best for your spiritual and emotional health to do so. With the way God designed us - mentally, physically and spiritually, we believe it is the case that sexual relations is meant to be part of a lifelong committed partnership. I can’t prove this in any scientific way. If there were no resource restraints on the site, I would be happy to spend the time writing a fully explanation about our thinking. We can also say that if you are interested, you can read the Bible, or talk to some Christians you know, and ask them more about why this is the belief of Christians.

         We also want to say that you should be careful not to go too far in intimacy with a boyfriend or girlfriend. You could be tempted to go too far - i.e. all the way. Also, commitment should dictate the extent of a physical relationship, and if you are young, you are unlikely to be about to get married to your boyfriend/girlfriend (even if you believe that you will later). If you don’t wait, you will just get more hurt when you break up. Even if you don’t feel it, some spiritual damage to yourself will be done. God can help to mend this, but it is best to be avoided; prevention is better than cure. On the practical side, it is obviously sensible to take contraceptive precautions for anyone who does have sex and does not want to risk pregnancy or catching a sexually transmitted disease from the other person. This is a further reason to avoid a casual attitude to sex: you never know where people have been.

        How about if you want a girlfriend or boyfriend, but don’t have one? You may feel like the odd one out. Well, it can certainly be hard if most of the people around you seem to be going out with someone. Patience can be hard to come by, but try to get it. Be disciplined, pull yourself together!!!! It can be particularly hard for young people who go to single sex schools. If you don’t want to have a girlfriend or boyfriend, but feel under pressure, then don’t be pushed into it. It’s your life; don’t be rushed. Just make an excuse if you are grilled by friends, or if you are brave enough, tell the truth! Be your own boss!!!

         Finally, I want to say a quick word to those who are sexually confused. I mean by this that you are attracted to people of the same sex as your own. Again, on this subject, we are being quite old fashioned in the eyes of most  people today. We think it is not good or right for anyone to feel this, and certainly not to allow it to lead to any physical sexual contact. The reasons for same sex attraction are perhaps quite complex. However, it is fairly widely accepted that it is quite a common thing in teenagers, whose hormones can be a little unbalanced as they grow up. As usual, if you want to know more about why we believe these feelings are unhealthy, then have a look at the Bible, or ask some Christians who echo our belief. We believe that guys were meant for girls, and visa versa, and that people will be happiest, in the truest sense, with this situation. We have every sympathy if you are experiencing these sorts of difficult feelings and temptations. Please send us an e-mail prayer request if you want us to pray for you on this issue; click here. As always, if you have anything to say, then you can write an article - see that section’s link at the top of the page. Perhaps you want to add to what we have said, by explaining more about the Christian stance on this issue from the Bible’s perspective.

Contact Organisations, books and Web links:

Bullying, lonely, suicidal, other problems:

See links above, or click here. Also, click here for the Links section. There are Christian sites with specific youth sections, and we hope that some of these will talk more in depth about issues which young people face, from a Christian perspective.

Suicidal? - click here for the contact page for the Suicidal section.

Homeless? Shelterline (UK) - Tel. 0808 800 4444.

Missing Persons (UK), send a message home if left or run away - Tel. 0800 700 740.

National Missing Persons Helpline (UK) - Tel. 0500 700 700.

Sexual abuse: click here for the Rape/Abortion section.

Anorexia / eating disorders - www.bodycage.com (information and contacts), www.epigee.org/ocd/ocdchristian.html (Christian perspective).

Not a Christian?

Please see the links above - click here.

General Christian Youth Contacts and Links

British Youth For Christ (UK) - www.yfc.co.uk.

Soul Survivor - www.soulsurvivor.com.

The World Wide Message Tribe - www.message.org.uk/wwmt.

www.24-7prayer.com - constant world-wide prayer; information and motivation to help you pray.