Welcome... Although I am fortunate enough to have never experienced either rape or sexual abuse, I do recognise the terrible suffering that victims experience. I can perhaps begin to imagine the feeling of violation. Perhaps it is a feeling that you have been corrupted, made dirty - your very body. Your inner self has been attacked. If you are a sufferer of rape or sexual abuse, I hope that you find the article below of some use and comfort. I also hope that you can find God as a source of strength and healing. As usual, our perspective is Christian, but we hope that if you are not a Christian, that you will still find the article useful, and that the web links with lead you to some help. Most of the links and contact points are not specifically Christian. The article also includes a section with comments about abortion, and there are also links and points of contact for help and advice about this issue. Featured Article: The Spirit Stitching a Torn Soul In the case of rape, and also sexual abuse, there is a prevailing sense that your body and been violated; grossly mistreated. The trauma of one or more incidents of attack or abuse can be very significant. Many sufferers, I am sure, will have to fight this trauma at regular intervals. They might worry about trusting certain other individuals, who they do not feel they can trust. On top of this day to day effect, there is the sense of fear, pain and possibly shame, which accompanies the abuse. Because of my lack of personal experience, I can only speculate in general terms about the effects of this type of suffering. My purpose in writing is to bring encouragement and hope to people who have suffered this type of violation. This is based on a confidence that God can help people to get through difficult times, and can also bring healing to emotional trauma and bad memories. You will need support, friendship and practical - active, help. Perhaps some Christian counselling or prayer ministry will be important in your recovery (please see the Counselling and Depressed/Hurt sections, through the links to the left). Rape In the case of rape, normally most victims do not know their attacker (or at least this is what I understand). However, sometimes they do know the abuser. Perhaps you were sprung upon late at night while walking home. Or you were with your boyfriend and he pushed things along too far - and just took control, leaving you powerless. It is generally known that it is very important to go straight to the police in the case of rape, and, hard as it is, to be available to doctors for medical evidence. Things can get complicated if you know your attacker, when pressing charges will cause other problems (such as the different pressures caused from when third parties, known by both you and the abuser, find out). And then there is the challenge of going to court. We will not be dealing with areas like this in this article. Please see the links and contacts below for practical sources of help. Through this site, we want to bring hope and encouragement to those who are living with the wounds and pain of being sexually abused, whether through rape or in other ways. Although rape is an assault on your body, it affects your whole being. It is, as such, a spiritual issue. We might point you to other areas of this site, which may provide encouragement about how you can receive healing from God. Any of us who have been through deep pain and trauma of any sort, need God’s healing presence, and his friendship to get through. Eventually we do recover, but we need him to help to heal the wounds inside. Prayer for Inner Healing is also looked at in the Depressed/Hurt section (please click here). This is a ministry which believes in the power of the Holy Spirit to heal our hurts, and which is often combined with counselling. As the causes of past hurt are discovered, prayer enables the power of God to come to heal the wounds of the sufferer. The Holy Spirit can mend your wounded soul. Trust in the Spirit, and be open to God - seek Him. The Spirit can touch you with healing, to undo bad touch that you have felt at the time(s) of trauma (abuse). He can carefully, gradually, stitch back together torn souls. Broken hearts can be wonderfully and gradually restored. God can do these things - he is God. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the broken-hearted, and he saves those who are crushed in spirit”. It could be that your church is small or badly run, and there is no form of counselling or prayer ministry available to you. If this is the case, then we encourage you to seek God yourself. He will be faithful to you, and come to help you. However, you must try to find some form of Christian support (as well as perhaps formal Christian counselling, if this seems right). You may even consider going to another Church - if you can find one which values and practises inner healing ministry. There are some very good books listed in the inner healing section, which may be very helpful to you. Sexual Abuse Sexual abuse can scar people for life. These scars can act to mess up many things that victims go on to do later in their lives. However, God can bring healing and hope. The damage does not have to remain, and ruin your life. There is a God. I am making the assumption in writing that most victims of sexual abuse were either children or teenagers when they were abused. I do realise, however, that older people are also taken advantage of and assaulted or victimised in different ways. It is a well-known fact that most children are abused by someone known to them, particularly a family member. It must be very hard to forgive someone that you know so well who has harmed you so seriously. Your family and parents are supposed to care for you, not use and abuse you. It is very important to forgive, and to persevere in being forgiving in your heart towards your offender. Forgiveness is usually an ongoing process, as you often have to combat anger and painful memories that can regularly come back to you. Invite God in to your feelings, so that you can move forward in healing and hope. The effects of sexual abuse can be many. Apart from the pain and sense of abuse and emptiness in your body, it can be hard to ever trust again figures of authority. Perhaps, in the case of a romantic relationship, you experience mistrust towards your boyfriend/girlfriend. It takes a long time to trust again, and your boyfriend/girlfriend will have to be patient and sensitive. You should certainly tell them about your problem, and if you are unsure whether you can trust them with the information, you should be patient and take the relationship very slowly until you feel you can share. Guard your heart and be very wise and cautious in having a relationship; the last thing you need is more hurt. I once heard a story about a little girl who had been sexually abused. I do not know if it was an allegorical story, or if it actually happened. Jesus came to the little girl in her room at night, over several nights. He healed her by his presence, speaking the words she needed to hear. Even though you may not be privileged enough to have encountered the gentle presence of the Lord so soon after your affliction, he can meet you where you are now, and bring his healing to you. God’s Words of Encouragement It is especially wonderful if you sense that God has communicated personally with you in some way. Perhaps you think of a word in your mind, and the Holy Spirit explains what God means by this. For example, perhaps you love watching tennis, and an image of the world famous Wimbledon tennis courts flashes up in your minds eye. This makes you think of your dream of sitting at the court side and watching famous players, in good company and with plenty of strawberries. God has spoken to you in encouragement - he loves you enough that he would like to give you this sort of experience to make you happy. This might not mean that your dream will be fulfilled literally, but you are reminded of God’s love and support for you. You know that he is very close, and that he loves you and can work things out for you; for better times. If you examine the Bible carefully, there are many instances of God speaking to his people in different ways (for example, Acts 8:29). We do need to be careful that we are hearing God, and not our own voice or the enemy’s, who seeks to confuse us. It takes time, common sense and wisdom to learn how to hear God speak to you. There are many good Christian books on this subject. If you are interested, just go to the Links page here, and search Christian “Link” or “Super” sites for books. Look for, or specify in the search engines, something like “God speaking” or “prophecy”. Abortion I was watching TV quite recently, and there was a program about abortion. I was horrified when they actually showed an abortion taking place on camera. Although detail was not shown, I was horrified as I watched. I really felt that I was effectively watching a murder. A life was being ended. If you have had an abortion, you have damaged yourself and ended the life of your child. Not everyone would agree that abortion is this serious, and many who have had abortions may not feel any significant guilt. Some web sites below expound the argument against abortion. If you want to also look at some sites that argue that abortion is basically OK, then you can do a simple search of the web for such sites. It can be very hard to face the guilt that comes when someone who has had an abortion faces up to what they have done. Abortion may seem to some like the best option in a difficult situation. Personally, the only case of abortion that I think I may be sympathetic to (and I am not absolutely sure even in these cases), would be in the case of rape (which is apparently very rare), or in the event of serious medical complications or problems for the child or mother. God forgives any sinner who is sorry for their sin. I would say that abortion is a sin, and so if you have been involved in it in any way, either by aborting your child or encouraging someone else to, I would encourage you to repent of this. God’s forgiveness is powerful and effective (1John 1:9). It may take some time to feel this forgiveness, and to experience the restoration and healing that you need, but it will come in time. Please do get help from others, and deal with this matter. There are some good web links and points of contact below. Contacts and Links Rape/ Sexual Abuse Victim Support Line (UK, for all crimes). Tel. - 0845 30 30 900. Rape and Abuse line (UK, for women and men). Tel. - 0808 800 0123. www.survive.org.uk. www.angelfire.com/in/healingthesoul, (self hurt, and abuse issues, and many links) [Women’s Aid Domestic Violence Help line, UK. Tel. - 08457 023468.] Abortion www.prolife.org.uk, www.prolifeinfo.org. Counselling - click here or on the left button bar at the top. Miscarriage - www.angelfire.com/tx/miscarriagesupport. |
