(12 times the power of your average Python, yet gentler than Mother Teresa)

Welcome to the Magic Snake's world news page, bringing you groundbreaking news from around the globe. Our reporters get right behind the lines to bring you news long before any other network.

BERLIN TO REBUILD WALL USING VEGETABLES

German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder has controvertially decided to pass a law allowing the reconstruction of the Berlin wall.........with vegetables. The move, part of the 'Go Communism!' act, has had a mixed response. A government spokesperson commented, "The east is reinstating ties with the former Soviet Union. We want to give communism one last go."

But many feel the measures are too drastic. A German farmer rages,"Vegetables are living creatures like you and me. They have feelings. I can't believe the Government can subject them to treatment like this." Riots ensued on the east side last night as desparate shoppers tried to pick up the last of the vegetables. One confused shopper said, "I don't see why they don't use bricks, vegetables are a silly idea, they'll rot." Gerhard Schroeder hit back saying, "This time round we wanted the wall to have an organic feel. Last time the wall was very real and industrious, which heightened feelings on both sides of it."

News of the wall being built has caused widespread panic, with some people believeing the Nazi Amateur Dramatics Society may be behind the wall building. A concerned professor explains," This group of people may be reinacting the post war period in Germany, by building the wall. My concerns lie with people misinterpreting this and going into war mode.

How the new wall may look.

War mode is a disease affecting the brain which has symptoms including irrational behaviour, paralysis and death. One confused English pensioner commented," I remember the war." Downing Street last night dismissed claims that they are preparing for war, although there have been claims that the MOD have monkeys working for them.

More news on this story as it develops.