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GHOST DEMONSTRATION LEADS TO GHOST DOG SCARE.

Four thousand ghosts protested in Trafalgar Square yesterday as part of a demonstration against the suppression of their rights, before marching on Parliament and demanding the right to vote. It was supposed to be a peaceful protest, but things soon turned ugly. Several ambulances arrived on the scene soon after the protest got underway to help some passers by that had fallen victim to shock. One distressed old lady gibbered,"I don't know what is going on. All those signs over there are floating about, can't you see them? Have I been given drugs?", before passing out.

Crowds of humans and pigeons soon gathered in Trafalgar Square, as the tension between the ghosts and the humans grew. The pigeons just talked amongst themselves in small groups. Violence erupted soon after, with the instigator appearing to be an old man shouting,"What's a ghosts favourite food?...Spooketti! Hahaha. What did the ghost get when he went to the optitians?...Spookticles! Hahaha. What is a ghosts favourite cartoon?...In Spectre Gadget! Hahahaaaarggh." Short of calling a ghosts mother a cunt, taking the piss out of a ghosts appearance is the worst possible way to insult him. The ghosts had the upper hand in the ensuing violence, with the advantage of being invisible to the naked human eye, but were soon beaten back as special 'Ghost Dogs' were drafted in by the Ghost Dog Handlers. Although the ghosts eventually gave up and went home with the arrival of the ghost dogs, the Ghost Dog Handler Division of the police force issued a press release stating,'Several ghost dogs were lost during todays proceedings, and we believe there may be up to fifty roaming throughout the streets of London. If you happen across one, try to contain the deceased animal within the confines of a garden perhaps and give the station a phone on 5654 9082. Do not try to feed these ghost dogs as they may explode. Thank you and be careful.'

With the containment of these ghost dogs likely to go on throughout the night, all we can say is be careful and try not to go out alone. The ghosts may not have started the riot, but a disaster like this is likely to set their campaign back several months.