Dahmani Five-0!

Ever since returning from my first Tunisian bash, I had been planning to return. As Gazza had a shortage of leave, this second trip was planned with Stewart ‘Redhill’ Wells, my partner in crime from Balkan Bash IV. As with the previous trip, we booked leave and hoped a suitable late deal would turn up. Later on, Phil ‘Blackwater’ Marsland said he was up for the bash, and fortunately when a deal finally emerged, we secured a triple room package, for £129 each, though sadly this time flying from Gatwick. The change of personnel meant a change of bashing tactics – while Gazza is only interested in loads of thrash, Redhill also likes to score mileage, while Blackwater likes to scratch new engines. Me being Mr Greedy, I want all the above!

Sunday 12^th December 2004

A relatively late flight still meant leaving Redhill’s house in Rugby about 9.30am, for a cart to Northampton, for the usual Sunday rail-replacement bus to London. Lunch and a couple of pints in the McSpoons on Victoria, before catching the Gatwick Express to the airport, where after collecting our tickets we killed time in the landside McSpoons while we waited for Blackwater to join us. However, when I got chinged £3 a pint for some bog-standard bitter, I decided we weren’t staying for another in there! After check-in, we festered (usual 3—hour check-in – yawn!) until we could board our plane, an Airbus A300 – winning type, winning airport, winning airline!

Arrival in Monastir was about 10pm, and we made straight for the coaches after collecting our bags and exchanging £100 each at a very good rate of TD2.249. There was a slight hold up as security suddenly started searching every bag, then equally inexplicably stopped again. We were still first to the coaches, and I grabbed the front seat for extra leg room and a better view (of what I’m not sure given that it was pitch black). The various chavs drifted up over the next half-hour (and I was evicted from my seat so the elephant woman could sit at the front), so we thought we had a good chance of reaching our hotel before midnight. However, as all the other coaches pulled out in one vast chavalcade, our rep said we were waiting for one more family. After another half-hour, it was discovered that they had made their own way to the hotel without bothering to inform anyone, so we’d festered for nowt.

We eventually arrived at the hotel a little before 1am, the same hotel I’d used in May. After checking in, we were about to pick up our bags, but the porter insisted on doing it for us. As we all crammed into the little lift, I felt the urge to pass wind. I started slowly, and as I got to notch four it was still silent, so I figured it was safe to open up to notch eight. When the lift stopped shaking and hearing was restored, I was very relieved to see the porter laugh and pat Redhill on the back!

Monday 13^th December 2004

Having finally got to bed around 1.30am, we awoke to the alarm clock at 5.30. We blagged a quick breakfast and some strong coffee, while Bert summoned us a taxi to the station. After a brief discussion to convince the driver we knew what we were doing and didn’t want driving to Bir Bou Regba, we arrived at Hammamet shack ten minutes before the through train to Tunis, which duly arrived with winner 040DM265. This was a relief as I’d been told by Duncan that the cart was on one diagram the previous week, and we didn’t fancy a forty minute fester for the other diagram.. We had intended to do this throughout to enable us to obtain our rovers, but on arrival at Bir Bou Regba the overnight from Metlaoui was running late, so we scrambled across for a bonus scratch to Tunis. We tried to blag free travel by telling the Bert we wanted to buy Carte Bleus, but he didn’t understand. I waved my ticket from May and tried to explain that we wanted new ones, but he just accepted it for travel, before chinging up Redhill & Blackwater.

Having obtained our rovers, we went for a quick spin. I had high hopes, as the previous week four of my DK winners had been out. However, as we viewed the diagrams, it became apparent that they weren’t now! At Megrine Riadh, Redhill and Blackwater opted for a desperate leap to Megrine and back, which I flagged as it was dud for dud. However, just as they got back, winner 040DK88 rolled in on one of the supposedly non-stop services. It stopped, but of course the Bert didn’t open the doors (sod’s law this should be the one time the doors were working!). With a little help from the normals we forced our way in, having the smoky beast to Tunis and back to Jebel Jelloud. A couple more leaps, and we headed out to Lycee Ezzhara to cover the last unseen diagram, which thankfully was 040DK100, another winner. We then did my usual Jebel Jelloud leap to cover the Dahmani, and I was extremely pleased to have a DF, especially a winning one, as the previous week a regular performer had been 040DF355 which I’d scored in May.

Back in Tunis, we went to get photo permits. In May myself and Gazza had acquired these, with no hassle, from Mme Jardak, so we asked for her again. However, we were met by M Zouali, who seemed friendly and helpful, but proved to be as useful as a glass sledgehammer. He led us to some other woman, who told us we must write an application, and return the next day to collect the permits, however when we did so we were told to make an appointment with the Ministry of Communication to apply in person yet another day later. In the end we simply didn’t bother.

040DK82 was on the lunchtime Bizerte, which we took to Jedeida where we found a hellfire café to score some more strong coffee and some cake. We then had Ganz junk 040DO284 back to Tunis, which the other two inexplicably rated. Takes all sorts, but then they both openly admit to liking Sulzer as well.

When we saw a DF backing in the stock for the 1455 Dahmani, we decided to do it throughout and find a hotel, then return on that or the Ganz filth the following morning. We were even more whipped when we saw that they had swapped the DF for another winner. We were less impressed when we arrived at Dahmani to find there was nowt there, and certainly no hotels. A few enquiries to cab drivers revealed that there were several hotels in El Kef, about 20 miles away. They would drive us there for a couple of quid, but we decided it was too much hassle, and asked how much to get to Tunis. The driver wouldn’t go, but told us his mate would drive us there for TD10 each. The mate turned up within a few minutes, but told us we would have to pay TD10 for each of the eight seats in the minibus. A bit of swift haggling got the fare down to TD50 for the three of us, via dropping off some of Bert’s mates on route. In the end the drive took about three hours, and had only really cost us about £8 each for a 120-mile taxi ride! We arrived in Tunis in time to cover the last southbound to get back to our hotel, but opted instead to check into Hotel Maison Doree to cover the morning turns. I was pleased to have got the line to Dahmani in, but at one point it had looked like we’d made a seriously wrong decision, particularly when on route the driver’s mobile rang, and he immediately said ‘it’s for you Phileep’, and something about the police!

Tuesday 14^th December 2004

We rose early again, to cover the morning diagrams to Kalaa Khasba and Ghardimaou. Unfortunately there was no loco for the latter when we arrived at the shack, and it is not possible to do the Kalaa Khasba even to Jebel Jelloud and get back for the Ghardimaou. We did the Jebel Jelloud move anyway, deciding that we might as well take the guaranteed winner, even if it is Ganz crap, which we nicknamed woodlice due to the fact they sound like someone shaking a matchbox full of said insects. After 3km too much on the piffling box, we had the first DK of the day, which turned out to be a winner. Back at Tunis we covered the Sidi Fath Allah works train, and I was not impressed to find 040DL236 – not only Ganz shite but the same Ganz shite that worked the same train almost permanently during the May trip! During the week we viewed several different locos Dead in Tow on this train, including a DI, a GR and a GT, but the DL was always the power.

We did a couple of GT scratch leaps, netting me one winner, before another blast on the hellfire DKs, by now christened squids due to their habit of shrouding themselves in thick black clag. 040DK82 was on the Bizerte again, and was again taken to Jedeida for the Ghardimaou train back. We photted the latter arriving at Jedeida, and I was withered to see it was 060DP150, the only standard gauge DP I had in May, especially as the previous week it was the only one not out!

The Dahmani was again 040DF360, which I took to Jebel Jelloud for a bit more mileage, albeit not much. Another couple of squid moves, and then 040DM271 produced for the afternoon Bizerte vice chariot. We had yet more Jedeida coffee as we waited for what turned out to be 040DP149 back to Tunis. On arrival, after a quick bite to eat we were pleased to see the 1805 Ghardimaou was 060DP152, which we had viewed arriving shortly before scoring the DM. We had planned to go to the passing point at Borj Toum, however the train became utterly wedged at Manouba, and we doubted we’d even be able to exit the train quickly enough, even if it were not late, so we bailed at Tebourba. Sadly it was not to be a hat trick of MLW beasts, as the return from Tebourba was a woodlouse. We bailed at Jedeida for yet more coffee in the hope that 040DM271 had been swapped at Bizerte, which unsurprisingly turned out to be not the case. We then did a move to Hammam Lif and back before heading back to Hammamet, which actually netted three winners for me.

Wednesday 15^th December 2004

We decided to take a taxi to Bir Bou Regba, which allowed a comparative lie-in. We stepped down diagrams at  Grombalia and Hammam Lif, scoring coffee at both, which produced two winners for me and three for the others. No DKs had swapped, so we went for a spin to Borj Cedria and back before heading south on the daytime Gabes train, which we took to Sfax for the connection to Metlaoui. We decided to partake in the trolley service, and were shocked when the Bert quoted TD9. When he explained that this was because we’d selected two ‘Lion’ bars at TD3 each (about £1.40!!), we quickly replaced the offending items and settled for coffee and biscuits.

As we approached Sfax I was paranoid that we were going to have 060DP136, which I’d had twice in May. I was especially pleased to see 060DN305 on the front, as this was a new class for all of us. We immediately went to get phots, only to be told by the station bert that this was forbidden. We tried the tried and tested approach of telling him we all worked for the railways in Britain (well, true for two out of the three of us!), and eventually he shrugged and walked off. The loco crew seemed bemused, especially when we set the camera to timer and posed for a seminar phot. This aroused their interest to the extent that they got a station bert to take a phot of all the train crew, along with us cranks, lined up on the front of the loco. We then had a cab visit, though attempts for a cab ride were unsuccessful.

Once we got going it became apparent that for all that they look hellfire, DNs are not particularly impressive. The loco was not so much thrashing as rumbling, somewhat akin to a BR class 60. As the first class was at the rear, we had elected to stand at the front for a while, and got talking to a local who proceeded to give us coffee and biscuits. Redhill’s gratitude was so overwhelming that he decided to try to kill the poor bloke! He leaned against the door button, and despite the speed the train was travelling, the door the unfortunate normal was leaning on suddenly flew open. Fortunately the chap grabbed the handrail in time, and avoided a high-speed ejection.

Shortly after this we decided to retire to the FC vehicle, only to find the gangway door locked. More fun with doors ensued, as at the next shack I decided to go round the outside. I jumped out of the door, at which point the guard closed all the doors! I just managed to leap into the doorway of the FC as the door closed, unfortunately becoming stuck! Sod’s Law dictated this would be the one coach where the emergency door release cover would be intact, and it was too far away to be able to break it. The ada stood in the vestibule seemed unwilling to help, and I only managed to get inside by physically pushing the door across. Finally the rigorous muscle-building exercises pay off (well, lifting pints and occasionally barrels of beer anyway!). Meanwhile our new friend was asking Redhill and Blackwater where I had gone!

On arrival at Metlaoui, we had a couple of beers, before purchasing the only food apparently available, cheese rolls livened up with some rather piquant harissa, before catching the overnight for a middle-of-night +1 at Mahres.

Thursday 16^th December 2004

We were surprised to see the other overnight was another DN, which we took back to Metlaoui. We slept through most of the fester there, and unfortunately also slept through half of the return journey to Sfax, a shame as this was the first time I’ve done the south end of the line in daylight. We toyed with leaping at Ghraiba for the Gabes diagram to somewhere for the other one back, but as we had no idea where either train stopped we carried on to Sfax where we sought food and drink during a rather tedious fester. We then took the Gabes-Tunis to Hammam Lif to see if any winners were out, which they weren’t. On route we were surprised to pass several pairs of GTs, and annoyed when we passed the train we had done the previous day also with a pair. We decided on an early night, and after doing the shunter to Nabeul and back to score the track for Redhill, we retired to our hotel for our first and only dinner there.

Friday 17^th December 2004

We again took the option of a taxi straight to Bir Bou Regba, after a much later start, and headed into Tunis. We were pondering moves when what we thought would be 040DK94 rolled in on a push-pull, and turned out to be 040DK95. Beast, one of my last three! Only 85 and 99 to go, and I know 85 to be out of traffic. A quick leap to Megrine was sampled, before covering the incoming Dahmani which was 040DF362 again. A shame, as only the same two performed all week, but we saw at least five different ones on Tunis shed during the week.

We spent most of the day on the DKs, including a return to Manouba that included both standard guage DKs. Again we saw several pairs of GTs, and rather irritatingly one of my last few winning GTs, 560, left on an extra just after the pair we did to Hammam Lif, but we couldn’t cover it as we had no idea where it was stopping. 040DM273 had arrived vice cart from Bizerte, so we went to cover it at lunchtime, and were absolutely disgusted to see the antisocial bastards had resurrected the cart.

In the evening we went out to Jedeida to cover what we knew to be 040DO282 returning from Ghardimaou, having flagged it at lunchtime as we didn’t fancy junk all the way there and back (ok, that’s not strictly true, but I certainly didn’t want to do junk all the way there and back!). On the return the Ganz piffle seemed to be struggling, and then came to an abrupt halt. After a brief fester, it then absolutely crawled to Tunis, where we discovered the abrupt stop had been due to hitting a car! Coincidentally, there had been a complete farce earlier as the main line between Hammam Lif and Borj Cedria was closed due to a train hitting a lorry.

We went for a pizza and drink before returning to Maison Doree, this time with mosquito repellent, having been badly bitten on Monday night.

Saturday 18^th December 2004

We decided not to bother covering the inevitable Ganz rancidity on the Kalaa Khasba, as here again the same two had been performing all week. As most of the week had been centred on spinning, we had planned to do Ghardimaou and/or Bizerte on our last day. The Ghardimaou was rejected as it was 040DO282, back in service despite the damage sustained in the previous night’s collision. Shame the filthy heap wasn’t written off! The Bizerte was a cart again, so was rejected.

We then found the posters advertising all the extra trains between Thursday and Sunday, apparently in connection with a public holiday. Cheers then! Bit late to find out, as we were on our last day. Had we known earlier we could have had at least four Metlaoui locos instead of two, and a good chance of more winners on other lines, plus we could have done the DF all the way to Kalaa Khasba. Not sure that would’ve been any better for hotels than Dahmani though!

We then met a sociable station Bert who spoke English. He even said he had some diagrams, though sadly these turned out to be rolling stock diagrams only, he had no loco gen. D’oh! He was pretty free for any gen we wanted, but even he emphasised that we couldn’t take phots on the shack.

In the afternoon we viewed the through train to Nabeul, and the others were pleased to see the DM had been swapped, though I was less impressed as the replacement was the one I’d had all week in May. Worse, both the ones out this week now appear to be push-pull fitted so will probably be regular performers on the Nabeul branch.

At this point we split, as the others wanted to cover the GT pairs, whereas I knew all the ones at Tunis were dud for me. I was fortunate enough to drop on a pair into Tunis, one of which was a winner, and both were winners for Redhill and Blackwater. Back at Tunis, they watched the pair arrive, while they waited for another of their winners to depart. We had planned an early return to Hammamet, but instead went to Maison Doree for dinner, where a three-course meal each and two bottles of wine came to TD30 including tip. We then covered both the scheduled overnights, and the extras, and  ended up festering until the very last train as that’s when the winning pair (for them!) came back out. We were lucky we had confort class tickets, as people were literally being turned away from the double-strength train. Back at Bir Bou Regba, We experienced a rare occurrence for Tunisia: there were no taxis! We actually had to get the station Bert to summon one to take us back to the hotel.

Sunday 19^th December 2004

We had decided all along that we would finish the move on a DK, and by this stage the other two had managed to spawn 49 winners for the week, so were hopeful of making 50 for the week. And this from people who mock ‘fives’ in the UK!

On arrival at Bir Bou Regba, SNCFT decided to taunt me as a parting gesture. By now I needed just two GTs. One of them, 556, was the Bir Bou Thunderbird as it had been most of the week, and the other, 560, rolled in heading the wrong way. Cheers then! I could probably have done 560 to Tunis and still made the flight, but it was dodgy. Similarly, we could have done the DK to Mahdia and back before the plane was due to take off, but would have missed check-in by over an hour.

Arrival at Sousse was slightly late, and left us seven minutes to get across town to Bab Jedid. We nearly made, but not quite. Shades of déjà vu from the May trip for me! We ended up doing the exact same move as May, i.e. cart to Monastir, for the DK to Bab Jedid and back to L’Aeroport.

At the airport we spent most of our remaining Tunisian cash on a meal and some beer, before checking in, where we found our flight was over an hour late. Cheers then! There was a flight to Bristol, which was on time, so maybe I should have just got on that! When we’d finished in the duty free shop we went to the bar for a drink and a few games of cards, and Redhill mucked up the shuffle and ended up playing 52-card pick-up!

As (revised) flight time approached, we moved to the gate area, where some rugrat came up and tried to take my ticket, before hitting me. The others laughed about this, so he then tried the same trick on Redhill, before grabbing Blackwater’s bag and trying to run away. We eventually got onto the plane, and the airline food was up to its usual standards, struggling to even justify the price of £0.00.

Back at Gatwick, delays in baggage retrieval meant we only just made our respective trains home. After I changed at Reading, I was at the mercy of First Late Western back to Bristol. After a week of being chinged air-con supplements every other train, I was seriously pissed off when I found that Late Western’s xmas present to its customers was to make supersavers invalid for most of December, so the thieving bastards liberated another £5 on top of the extortionate £40 I’d already paid. Ah, isn’t it good to be home? Thank (insert deity here) I’m only back in Britain for four days before my next bash!

Conclusion

Overall a pretty successful week, though I’m gutted that we didn’t find out about the holiday in time to take advantage of the extra winners and mileage available. We’re already planning to go back the same week in 2005! It was frustrating to miss two of the GTs, especially to see them next to each other at the end. As with the May trip, it’d be nice to see a bit more swapping between workings, rather than the same locos sticking all week. Having said that, Redhill and Blackwater were more than happy to score 50 new. The only real problem that remains is the continuing Ganz infestation. Get rid of these pathetic heaps of junk and Tunisia would be one of the most rateable countries around, but as it stands the Kalaa Khasba line is generally pointless, and it’s too easy to be bowled out on the Ghardimaou line. On the plus side, the Tunis electrification is making no progress, and is not expected before 2008 at the earlies. I was also pleased to get my total DK mileage over 1,000 miles.

For the record, here’s what worked the Tunis DK diagrams:

With much thanks to Jeff Hawken for the diagrams and timetable gen.

Statistics

Dave Unpronounceable

evil.empire@lycos.co.uk