Jokes about pigs for my pig website.

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Q: What does a sick pig take?
A: Oinkment.

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Q: What would you call a crafty pig?
A: CunningHAM.

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Q: What do you call a pig with no legs?
A: A GroundHog.

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Q: Why didn't the piglets listen to the teacher pig?
A: He was a boar.

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A man was driving down the road in the country. He looked over and saw a baby pig in the field. He stopped and picked up the pig.
A short while later he is driving around town with the pig in the car and a cop sees him and pulls him over.
The Cop says, "Hey, what are you doing with that pig in the car?"
The driver says, "Well, I just found the pig beside the road in the field."
The cop says, "I don't care, I want you to take that pig to the zoo!" The driver agrees and drives off.
The next day the cop sees the guy driving around again and pulls him over. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO TAKE THAT PIG TO THE ZOO!"
The driver replies, "Well I did take the pig to the zoo. We had such a good time we are going to the ball game now."

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A man was driving up a steep and narrow mountain road. A woman was driving down the same road.
As they pass each other, the woman leans out the window and yells "Pig!"
The man immediately leans out his window and replied, "Hag!"
They continue on their way and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.

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A pig walks into a bar and asks for 3 glasses of Coke, he drinks and drinks and drinks and when he's finished he asks the bartender where the bathroom is. The bartender tells him it's down there on the left and the pig goes off to the bathroom.
Then a second little pig walks in and asks for 10 glasses of Coke, he drinks and drinks and drinks and when he's finished he asks the bartender where the bathroom is. The bartender tells him it's down there on the left and the pig goes off to the bathroom.
Then another little pig comes in and asks for 100 glasses of Coke, he drinks and drinks and drinks and drinks and drinks. The bartender says "Aren't you going to ask where the bathroom is?
The pig says "No, I'm the little pig that goes wee wee wee all the way home."

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Q: What do you call a pig thief?
A: A Ham-burglar. (The pig normally sqeals though)

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Q: Why did the pig go to the casino?
A: To use the slop machine.

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Q: How do you fit more pigs on your farm?
A: Use a sty-scraper.

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Q: What do you call a pig with no clothes on?
A: Streaky Bacon.

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Q: What do you call a pig who has been arrested for dangerous driving?
A: A Road Hog.

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Q: What would happen if pigs could fly?
A: Bacon would go up.

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Q: Why was the pig covered in ink?
A: Because he came out of the pen.