In the eyes of most Dundee FC supporters the men who wear the dark blue are giants. Now the fans can boast a strip suitable for them.
The massive shirt in the style of the team's vintagedark blue top withwhite trim is the brainchild of supporters group The Johnny Mathis Bread Dark Blues who were inspired by the huge flags and team colours displayed by fans of top Italian sides.
The Dundee version measures a formidable 70 feet by 40 feet, is made of fire retardent cotton and was manufactured by a supplier in Aberdeen.
Last night several of the Johnny Mathis club, who measure around 70 in total and are one of the most vocal sections of the Dundee Support, were at Dens to give the strip a trial run.
"It was made so big that we thought we had better make sure it actually fitted inside the new stands when we unravelled it, so we've come along tonight to give it a try," said a club spokesman. "It looks fantastic, and the club think it's a great thing as well," he added.
The strip will be given its full debut in front of a nationwide SKY television audience when Dundee host Hibs in their first home League match of the season at Dens, which takes place on Sunday August 8th.
To start drinking at 9 in the morning is positively disgraceful. To still be drinking 18 hours later is downright dangerous, But we did it anyway.
The early start meant that casualties were inevitable, this being apparent when the prancing, dancing NEIL SIMPSON called to say he wasn't coming, "Eh'm still fucked fae last night" was his excuse. Pathetic really, considering the state GRANT HILL turned up in, bearing an uncanny resemblance to Freddie Boswell.
It was when boarding buses that IAIN ELLIOT made a huge mistake by sitting next to MARK McDONALD and JOHN MARSHALL, as the experienced old pro SNIFF found that he could'nt keep up with the youngsters. SNIFF subsequently passed out and was incapable of speech by the time we reached Inverness.
One sight that the drivers on the Perth - Inverness road will never forget is the dubious spectacle of around a dozen football fans out of their minds on TAM BOSWELLS vodka jelly standing at a lay-by with their trousers at their anklesurinating whilst enjoying the picturesque highland landscape.
When we reached Inverness we noticed that SNIFF could no longer speak and that JIM McDONALD could drink more than anyone else in the world.
Upon reaching the ground it became apparent that our pre-game preperations were perhaps a touch extravegant for a pre-season friendly against lower league opposition.
Once again IAIN ELLIOT was a stunning example of this. The view from the terraces offered a superb opportunity to observe SNIFF looking a whiter shade of white lying prostrate against a mini-bus. The friendly local copper 'VINCE' informed us that their was "Not a fucking chance of him getting in". 25 minutes in the Inverness sun proved enough for two of our travellers who took the opportunity to remonstrate with Tommy Coyne over accusations of racial prejudice on the way back to the pub.
The journey home provided us with a short sojourn in Pitlochry, where locals enjoying their evening meal in a friendly eaterie were "treated" to NEIL McGREGOR running naked past the window with pants on his head. Needless to say the restuarant owner was not too pleased, as was the barmaid who ejected us after she failed to appreciate our banter with the Livingston fans we met. The police who moved us on were undoubtedly among the friendliest of all the coppers who have ever kicked over 2 dozen louts out of a pub, helpfully reccomending a better pub down the road.
It was here that young DAVID MUDIE had his first experience of bouncers who won't admit you for whatever reason. The conversation between the bouncer and David's drunken non-responsible parent went along the following lines:-
Non Responsible Parent: Why not?
Bouncer: We dont let kid's in
Non Responsible Parent: He's not a kid
Bouncer(cant be bothered): What is he then?
Non Responsible Parent: He's a dwarf.
Bouncer: Oh just sit him in the corner.
The journey home was where the real casualties emerged. On arriving at the Bread some went home, some stayed, some went to the disco, some collapsed. All wives and partners complained.
"Never Again" was uttered by many on the Sunday morning. "Same again Barman" was said by many on Sunday night.
STARCHECK
BUS 1
KEV McCONVILLE: The President was his usual sober self. Someone had to be. 0/10
JIMMY THE MOD: Talked about the Who, drank and didn't annoy , insult or abuse anyone. It's a pity we're not all like Jim. 7/10
SCOTT KINNEAR: Is claiming partial amnesia. Also reported to be buying the wife flowers and chocolate's as a peace offering. 8/10
GARY MUDIE: You'd think that you might take it easy if you are responsible for your 6 year old son. You'd think so woudn't you! 8/10
DAVID MUDIE: Youngster (age 6) probably now scarred for life. Got into the spirit by drinking cans of Bass Shandy. Is now fully competent in swearing, drinking and pissing in public. 7/10
SANDY DUNCAN: The oilrig worker / country squire who cant say no. Or anything else by the end of the night. 8/10
GRANT HILL: DEEWOK managed burn his hands when confusing a kettle with a tomato sauce dispencer. Still has not had a haircut. 9/10
JAMES McDONALD: The man is quite simply a legend. No one can drink like Jim. Probably no one would want to either. 10/10
WAYNE LAW: Newcomer to away day scene, will be back. 7/10
MARK McDONALD/ JOHN MARSHALL: Youngsters whose performances just get better and better. Sniff made the mistake of sitting next to them. 8/10
IAIN ELLIOT: The experienced old pro Sniff was put under the table by Mark and John proving that Tommy Coyne isn't the only one whose past it. Refused entrance to the ground (again). 10/10
THE VENGABUS
SEB: The fact that Seb made it to a disco is quite frankly amazing, to find out that he was later kicked out is not. 9/10
BRIAN REID: Proved that Simmy doesn't have a monopoly on dodgy chat up lines. "Your'e the most beutiful turnstyle assistant i've ever seen in my life" Pass the sick bag ( sorry mini Edo's got it). 8/10
NEIL REID: Was recently described by his sunday league team manager as " The young star of the future - if he can stay away from the bevvy merchants like Seb and Simmy". Bloody kids never listen to a word you say. 9/10
GORDON THOMSON: Solid performance from Gordon gave the travelling Dens Park Quoir an interesting Glaswegian twang to the choruses. 8/10
GRANT McGREGOR: Nearly started a fight with another supporters club who shall remain nameless(although if you want a clue, we beat them at Dens 6-2), and subsequent attempts to calm down proved fruitless. 8/10
NEIL McGREGOR: Spent more time naked than Gail Porter on Saturday. Was seen running around with boxer shorts tied round his head like a bandana. Is now Sin-Die from every pub in Pitlochry. 10/10
PAUL SMITH: Only went into the ground toabuse Tommy Coyne. Is an avowed non-racist you see. 8/10
TAM BOSWELL: Never made it to the game on account of losing his coat. Stripped Neil McGregor naked. 9/10
JOHN GILMOUR: Just back from Russia. John was the oldest man on the bus. In Russia he was the oldest man in the country. 8/10
PADDY: Subdued performance from Paddy, mind you there were no strippers to sexually pester. 7/10
PAUL SULLIVAN: Managed to fall asleep in yet more bizzare places. This weeks highlight: THE MAIN STAND AT INVERNESS. Solid proof that impending fatherhood does not settle you down. 9/10
Message from JMBDB2 (VICE PRESIDENT)
The first bus will be leaving at 9.30ish and the second one at 10.15ish.
The second bus will be driven by 'El Presidente' Kevin McConville so get your names down for the first bus now !! The 9.30 will be departing Inverness at 8.00pm and Kev's bus will be leaving straight after the game.
It should be a good day out in the Highlands with JMBDB boys getting pished, blootered and three sheets to the wind.
Even better news is that Grant 'Dee-Wok' Hill has promised to lay off the jokes so everyone can get sauced in peace!!
I spoke to Neil Cosgrove from Dundee Direct today and he said that Derby tickets should be on sale from Thursday (22nd).
I will be putting roughly 60 or so aside for the Main Stand and some for the Shed as well. JMB members wishing to sit at these areas can go in to Dundee Direct, say they're from JMBDB and they can pick up their tickets for the game. Stone in Love, JMBDB2 (Vice President).
Admission prices for the friendlies are as follows:
Brechin kick off now 2pm, bus leaves the Bread at 12.30
Phone Grant to confirm Seat on bus for Brechin. Bus will leave at 1.30
Meet in the Bread at 12 tomorrow to pay membership fees. Names also being taken for buses to Brechin and Inverness. Inverness bus will now leave the pub at 9am and return same night.
Buses are being organised to go to the Brechin and Inverness pre-season games - more details will be available in next few days.
The JMB Dark Blues 'Stoned in Love' T Shirts are now available from behind the bar.
Following on from the success of last weeks Quad Biking. Another trip has been arranged for Saturday. Paintball and Horse Riding. Phone Nigel for Details.
