Find all the Blackadder 1st Series scripts here.
The first episode, "
The Foretelling":Edmund: …as I shall be known from now on:
The Black...
Vegetable!
Baldrick: My Lord, wouldn't something like `The Black Adder' sound better?
Edmund: No, wait -- I think I have a better idea... What about:
The Black...
Adder!
The second episode, "
Born to be King":Edmund: Ah, yes. And then, one day.... (Enter Lord Percy)
Percy: You would be King, My Lord.
Edmund: Ah yes, yes. I would be King! And then what?
Baldrick: (puts his hands together, then moves them apart, making a large globe motion) You'd rule
the world, My Lord!
Percy: (moves an outstretched arm across a flat plane) You'd rule the world, My Lord!
Edmund: Precisely!
The third episode, "
The Archbishop":Edmund: Good lord! Prince Harry, Archbishop! And we all know what happens to Archbishops don't we?
Percy: Yes! They go to Canterbury.
Edmund: No no no no no no no! (makes a quacking noise as he runs his finger
across his throat)
Percy: Oh yes! (makes the same sound and gesture; he and Edmund laugh)
The fourth episode, "
Queen of Spain's Beard":Messenger 3: My Lord, news: the Swiss have invaded France.
King: Excellent! (to one of the men standing) Wessex, while they're away, take ten thousand troops and pillage Geneva.
Chiswick: But the Swiss are our allies, My Lord.
King: Oh yes... Well, er, get them to dress up as Germans, will you?
(Lord Wessex leaves)
King: Chiswick, remind me to send flowers to the King of France in sympathy for the death of his son.
The fifth episode, "
Witchsmeller Pursuivant":Woman 1: What about this plague, then? Rumours from the North say it's worse there than ever.
Piers: No, no... Now that we've found out about the rats, we'll never have
plague again.
Woman 2: You know what they're saying: "A rat a day keeps the plague away!"
Piers: Believe me, madam: There'll be no more plague in our lifetime.
Woman 1: Well, I hope you're right. (She stands and walks to get a bowl.)
(The three left at the table suddenly die. Woman 1 turns around and screams. `The BlackAdder' logo comes out of her mouth as the opening theme begins.)
The sixth episode, "
The Black Seal":King Richard: (Holding his goblet aloft) The Black Dagger.
Court: The Black Dagger.
(Everyone drinks)
Blackadder: (Quietly) Adder.
King Richard: May his name last as long as our dynasty.
(All the members of the court grab their heads in unison. They all fall to the ground and lie still. After a short time they all twitch, then they are still again.)
Blackadder: Good Lord.
(Percy and Baldrick are still running)
Blackadder: I wonder if it was the wine. (He lifts his goblet to his lips and takes a sip.) No, seems perfectly all right to me. And now at last I shall be k....
(He grabs his head with his stumps, lies still, twitches and lies still again)