Vincent Hannah: Quite. Now; Ivor Biggun, no votes at all for the Standing-At-The-Back-Dressed-Stupidly-And-Looking-Stupid Party. Are you disappointed?

Ivor Biggun: Ah, no, not really, no... I always say, "If you can't laugh, what *can* you do?" Ha-ha-ha-ha (squirts Hanna with flower).

Vincent Hannah: ...take up politics, perhaps. Has your party got any policies?

Ivor Biggun: Oh yes, certainly! We're for the compulsory serving of asparagus at break-fast, free corsets for the under-fives, and the abolition of slavery.

Vincent Hannah: Now, you see, many moderate people would respect your stand on asparagus, but what about this extremist nonsense about abolishing slavery?

Ivor Biggun: Oh, we just put that in for a joke! See you next year!

Edmund: (grabs Baldrick by the lapels) *We* are going to go to Mrs. Miggins', we're going to find out where Dr. Johnson keeps a copy of that Dictionary, and then *you* are going to steal it.

Baldrick: Me?

Edmund: Yes, you!

Baldrick: Why me?

Edmund: Because you burnt it, Baldrick.

Baldrick: But then I'll go to Hell forever for stealing.

Edmund: Baldrick, believe me, eternity in the company of Beezlebub and all his hellish instruments of death will be a picnic compared to five minutes with me -- and this pencil -- if we can't replace this Dictionary.

Prince: Damn sorry about the revolution and all that caper -- most awfully bad luck. [to Edmund] So, tell me, Blackadder: how the devil did you get him out?

Edmund: Sir, it is an extraordinary tale of courage and heroism which I blush from telling by myself, but seeing as there's no one else--

Baldrick: I could try.

Edmund: [baps Baldrick on the back of the head] We left England in good weather, but that was a far as our luck held. In the middle of Dover Harbour, we were struck by a tidal wave. I was forced to swim to Boulogne with the unconscious Baldrick tucked into my trousers. Then, we were taken to Paris, where I was summarily tried and condemned to death, and then hung by the larger of my testicles from the walls of the Bastille. It was then that I decided I had had enough.

Prince: Bravo!

Edmund: So, I rescued the count, killed the guards, jumped the moat, ran to Versailles -- where I climbed into Mr Robespierre's bedroom, leaving him a small tray of milk chocolates and an insulting note. The rest was easy.

(The Prince is wearing a long cape and a false moustache.)

P George: Well, what do you think?

Edmund: Are you ill or something?

P George: No, I'm simply trying to look more like an actor.

Edmund: Well, I'm sure you don't need the false moustache.

Edmund: No. (tears off the Prince's moustache)

P George: Oowwwwh! (bumps into a cabinet; Baldrick emerges clutching a feather-duster) Egads, it's that oppressed mass again! (starts to strangle Baldrick)

Edmund: No sir, that is Baldrick spring cleaning.

Edmund: Oh God! Bills, bills, bills. One is born, one runs up bills, one dies! And what have I got to show for it? Nothing. A butler's uniform and a slightly effeminate hairdo! Honestly Baldrick, I sometimes feel like a pelican - whichever way I turn, I've still got an enormous bill in front of me. Pass the biscuit barrel. (Baldrick does so) Let's see what's in the kitty shall we? (shakes out a few coins) Ninepence! Oh God, what are we going to do?

Baldrick: Don't worry Mr B., I have a cunning plan to solve the problem.

Edmund: Yes Baldrick, let us not forget that you tried to solve the problem of your mother's low ceiling by cutting off her head.

(The King, Blackadder and Wellington exit leaving Baldrick cradling the Prince's head)

Baldrick: (looks up) There's a new star in heaven tonight... A new freckle on the nose of the giant pixie.

P George: Erm! No, actually Baldrick, I'm not dead. You see I had a cigarillo box too, look. (rummages in his jacket) Oh damn, I must have left it on the dresser... (dies)