This time, you've gone too far.
This time, is the last time, you crawl back for more,
This time, is the last insult that I will permit,
This time, is the last time, you shit.

She was soft, she was slender,
She was supple, she was tender,
She was my intent, as a contender for the affections of the gender.
So walking, stalking, talking,
She was fucking corking,
But it was not I,
Who required a reply
To the request of a porking.

I was rent with inept assent,
When she asked me to consent,
To an evening of offense
Involving tents a garden fence and general kitchen implements.

I contemplated later -
Whilst I ached to masturbate her -
How much greater the scintillater,
When you don't need to inflate her.

It came to my attention,
She was a mother of invention
And any thirst I'd care to mention,
She would gladly try to quenchen.

Her sexual voracity knew no limit,
She made me use a condom with a pineapple within it.
This lusty fast repast was not to have lasted,
My discovery? She did the dirty on me. Literally.
The bastard.

She shat in the kitchen, she shat on the bed,
She shat in my closet, and my garden shed.
She dropped his load in my halls, she pebble dashed my walls,
She left her little floaters in my goldfish bowl.
She crapped on the trays in my tool box,
Then she wiped her ring-piece over every pair of socks.
She must have shat in the daytime and then all night long
The only place she didn't shit was down the john.

(I asked her once for anal sex but she said that she would pass,
She obviously didn't like anything going up her arse)

She shit, shat, squit and crapped,
Whoopsied, dumped, pooed on the cat,
Jobbied, plopped, moved her bowels,
Left her skids all down my towels.
He went and logged in all my shoes,
My pockets filled with number twos,
She turned my life into one long follow through.

She went and left a turd in every room she’d been,
She even left a message on my answering machine.

This time, you've gone too far.
This time, is the last time, you crawl back for more,
This time, is the last insult that I will permit,
This time, is the last time you shit, you shit.
This time, is the last time, you shit.

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