Dick: Okay June, what have you got?
June: Er... 27.
Dick: I see. And Simon?
Simon: 9.
Dick: June can we have yours first?
June: Oh I'm sorry, I appear to have used the ‘T’ twice.
Dick: Okay, well let's have Simon's 9 then.
Simon: Genitalia.
Dick: Ah.
Simon: You know, like a man's privates.
Dick: Yes, I know the word. Is it allowed?
Stil: Yes, it is in the Oxford English Dictionary and the exact definition is...
Ox: Bollocks.
Dick: Okay, quickly on to the next round. Simon to choose.
Simon: 5 consonants, and 4 vowels please The-Lovely-Carol.
T.L.C: R. K. N. S. F. E. A. I. O.
Dick: Off we go.
[CLOCK]
Dick: Simon?
Simon: 8.
Dick: And June?
June: 6.
Dick: And what's that?
June: Freaks.
Dick: Yes that's fine, and Simon?
Simon: Foreskin.
Dick: Richard?
Stil: Yes, foreskin is here. "The useless, floppy piece of skin at the end of the man's penis".
June: I always thought that was the man.
Ox: The Oxford definition is "The skin that keeps your bell-end warm".
Dick: Ha ha ha. On to the numbers round. June?
June: 1 from the top row, 2 from the second, and 3 from the third please The-Lovely-Carol.
T.L.C: Okay, 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, and 12 million. And the answer you have to get is.... 69.
Dick: Right then. So I want a 69 from the pair of you.
[Simon and June look at each other, shrug, and climb on table]
Dick: Let's just go back to the letters round shall we? Simon?
Simon: 4 Vowels and 5 consonants please The-Lovely-Carol.
T.L.C: I. E. U. A. F. T. K. C. T.
Dick: And off we go.
[CLOCK]
Dick: June? June: 6.
Dick: Simon?
Simon: A dubious seven.
Dick: Let's hear June's first.
June: Ticket.
Dick: "Ticket" yes that's fine. And Simon's "dubious seven".
Simon: Tit-fuck.
June: I beg your pardon.
Dick: [Coughing] I really don't think we can allow that.
Stil: No, absolutely not. Tit-fuck is hyphenated.
Dick: The last round of letters, June.
June: 7 consonants and 2 vowels please The-Lovely-Carol.
T.L.C: W. A. N. C. Q. U. R. T. S.
Dick: That was close.
[Clock]
Dick: Simon.
Simon: Nothing I'm afraid.
Dick: Thank Christ for that. June?
June: Well cunt is up there.