Restrek
[Dogs at table, each one with red bloke behind]
Joe: From now on, your name's are; Mr Brown, Mr Blonde, Mr White, Mr Blue, Mr Pink and Mr Orange, okay?
Dogs: Yeah, fine, cool, etc.
Joe: The job's a simple one. Broad daylight, in and out.
White: What about security?
Spock: Nothing that a well placed Vulcan neck pinch couldn't take care of.
[PAUSE]
Joe: Anyway...
Red: Excuse me?
Joe: What is it?
Red: You appear to have excluded us from your name calling.
Joe: What?
Red: You haven't called us any names.
Joe: You're all stupid fuckers. Okay?
Scarlet: No, he means, like a Mr Colour.
Joe: Look really, there's no point.
[Dogs snigger]
Crimson: What do you mean?
Spock: To belay suspicion, I suggested you give them names, no matter how spurious.
Joe: Okay, from now on you're Mr Red, Mr... Scarlet, Mr Crimson, Mr Blush, Mr Ruby, and Mr, er, Blood. Okay?
Blood: Mr Blood? Cool.
Blush: ‘Blush’? how lovely.
Scarlet: Captain Scarlet has a better ring to it.
Crimson: Just like... Crimson Pirate.
Blonde: How come they've got better names than us?
Pink: He's Mr Blood, and I'm crappy Mr Pink.
Brown: They're only going to be around for a couple of hours, and they get nicer names.
Blue: Instead of Blue, can't I be cyan? It's much more subtle.
Ruby: What do you mean, "only around for a couple of hours"?
Joe: Oh fuck.
Blush: I think Mr White is a perfectly suitable name.
White: Don't bring me into this, I didn't say a fucking word.
Orange: There's obviously a great deal of pent up aggression here, that needs a creative outlet to release it.
Ruby: Outside then, now.
Blood: Hello Mr P-p-p-p-p-pink, I'm Mr BLOOD!
Pink: Don't you fucking wind me up.
Orange: I'm a tree.
Scarlet: I'm the invincible Captain Scarlet.
Brown: Bullshit. [BANG]
Joe: Not yet!
Blood: Pretty Pink picks posies, pansies and purple primroses.
Pink: Fuck you. [BANG]
Blush: I'm not having a go, all I'm saying is, some of you have got cool names.
White: So why pick on me.
Orange: Everybody! With me; in with the good air, out
Ruby: Side now you slag. [BANG]
Crimson: Ha har! Come with me, me hearties. Let's strike terror in the hearts of men at the mention of me name. Give this here black spot to Blonde Pew.
Blonde: What the fuck's this?
Crimson: It be a death curse from the Crimson Pirate. [BANG]
Blush: I wasn't "picking" on you, just using you as an example.
White. You was using me as an example?
Blush: Yes.
White: You use me as an example in your sleep and you'd better wake up and apologise. [BANG]
Red: Excuse me, I haven't had a line for quite some time.
Blue: [BANG] Nor have I.
Crimson: It be Blue Beard.
Blue: Mr Bluebeard.
Crimson: [BANG] Eat lead you dog offspring of a salty seaman.
Pink: Ruby huh?
Ruby: Yeah.
Pink: That's a pretty name.
Ruby: Thank you, Pink.
Crimson: It be Brownbeard.
Brown: Who the fuck's Brownbeard.
Crimson: [BANG] It be....
White: Who? Who am I? White fucking beard? You're making names up just to kill them. Who am I? Santa Claus? Toby Chou? Charlie fucking Chan?
Pink: You wanna go somewhere, quiet?
Ruby: Sure.
[Pink & Ruby Off]
Ruby: What hair conditioner is that?
Pink: Salon Selective.
Crimson: Calm down, I'm only playing.
White: Yeah? Well I don't like this game any more. I'm going home to tell my mummy.
[White runs OFF]
Crimson: No, don't. Wait, I'm sorry. You can be the pirate this time.
[Crimson OFF]
Joe: This all your fucking fault.
Spock: I would surmise that it has something to do with your genetic make-up and undeveloped mentality.
Joe: Fuck you.
Spock: My point exactly. [Neck pinch]. It has been an interesting experience being stuck here, in the middle with you, but I think it is time to return to my ship.
[Spock OFF]
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