Red Carpet

V/O: And now, ladies and gentlemen, the white man of blues; Blind Willy Foreskin.

[Willy stands nowhere near the mic and starts talking inaudibly. Someone moves him to mic]

Willy: … so I said, “Honey, I may be blind but I have a keen sense of hearing. So you just keep on 
talking, sugar, and I’ll know which end to aim at.” This song is dedicated to all those people out there 
who don’t quite know how to tell their partner that they love them.

We’ve been seeing each other a long time, baby
You don’t think I love you any more
But you don’t know when I say I love you, baby
‘Cos a blues man always talks in metaphor
But I’m going to try one more time, baby
And see if I can settle the score.

Cupid’s shot his arrow, baby
And my heart has just been hit
Cupid’s shot his arrow, baby
And my heart has just been hit
My heart’s been pierced by the arrow of love, baby
And your name was written all over it.

I’ve got big love, baby
And I’m offering it all to you
I’ve got big love, baby
And I’m offering it all to you
My love for you is so big, baby
It’d explode if it grew.

I’m rolling out my red carpet
This carpet just won’t stop
My carpet represents my
Whole lot of love, baby.
This carpet’s soaring up to the sky.
Do see what I’m trying to say, baby?
No? Well I’ll have another try.

You’re my fast love restaurant, baby
And I’m hungry for a snack
You’re my fast love restaurant, baby
And I’m hungry for a snack
You’re my MacDonalds full of love, baby
And I want to take out your Big Mac.

You’re my Oedipal replacement for a mother, baby
I want you to hold me all night long
You’re my Oedipal replacement for a mother, baby
I want you to hold me all night long
You’re my psychological substitute for a mother, baby
But don’t tell me to put my toys back where they belong.

I’m rolling out my red carpet
This carpet just won’t stop
My carpet represents my
Whole lot of love, baby.
My carpet steams like a train.
Do see what I’m trying to say, baby?
No? Well I’ll just try again.

My love is a continental plate, baby
And one that ain’t about to shift
My love is a continental plate, baby
And one that ain’t about to shift
My love for you is a whole mass of plate techtonics, baby
I think you get my drift.

I’m a voo-doo love child, baby
With the blues bursting all mu seams
I’m a voo-doo love child, baby
With the blues bursting all mu seams
I’m the illegitimate offspring of a shaman baby
And I don’t know what it means.

Tu est ma petit chou fleur, baby
Ma haricot vert d’amour.
Tu est ma petit chou fleur, baby
Ma haricot vert d’amour.
If you’ll be my salad of love, baby
I’ll be vegetarian for evermore.

I’m rolling out my red carpet
This carpet just won’t stop
My carpet represents my
Whole lot of love, baby.
My carpet’s flying real high.
Now do see what I’m trying to say, baby?
Well, shit nor do I.