Wright On

Our teacher’s got no features
Except a hairy face.
Our tutor’s just a fruit,
Earth is not his proper place.
To smell his breath means instant death.
He’s a complete disgrace.
He can’t harm ya,
He’s just a banana,
Who comes from out of space.

Elvis is a bricky who works in Milton Keynes.
A woman in South Berwickshire’s been eaten by her greens.
Hitler is alive and well, does strip shows in Cowgeddys.
You can go and have a beer with the Yorkshire Dale Yetis.

Marylyn has a sex change and likes to be called George.
There is a nice South African, lives in the Cheddar Gorge.
A man found a hole that went from Preston to Turin.
He would have told the world but he accidentally fell in.

You hear a lot of stories you know that can’t be true
Cos iron girders taste nicer than Irn Bru
But before you cast all these tales aside with utmost haste
There really is a banana who comes from outer space.

Wright on! Wright on! Wright on! 

History’s a reflection of what is yet to come
A pungent fog suffuses you and makes you feel quite numb
Your vision blurs, feel nauseous, you start to sweat and groan
You lose your mind. It’s banana time! You’ve entered the halitosis zone.