Yellowbeard Rap We’re all in disguise, you stupid tart Our vocalist’s shit, he’s a fluffy old fart It’s a load of old bollocks but we don’t care At least we’ve got our pubic hair Fuck of Bros. We’re all bastards, that’s the way we were reared By the ultimate bastard, Yellowbeard. It’s time to get down to the Yellowbeard rap We would if we could but our drummer is crap Our synth man is of the Aryan race That’s why he thinks blacks are a bloody disgrace All around the world we are feared Cos we’re the sons of Yellowbeard Our DJ’s boring so we’ll give him a miss Except to say he’s rubbish and he drinks his own piss People don’t like us. Well, not much They say we smell like an elephant’s crotch. Cos we’re psychos we’ve been branded weird But we don’t give a fuck cos we’re the sons of Yellowbeard. We go around mugging and stealing lots of treasure Then we rape and kill just for good measure People say we’re rubbish and a load of shit But we just say, “Bugger off you evil git!” We have cars that aren’t geared Cos we’re the sons of Yellowbeard This is a load of bollocks. All around the world this music will thrill ‘em Then we’ll bugger their bottoms and fucking well kill ‘em We don’t like benders, they make us spew We don’t like anyone so fuck you When England won the cup, none of us cheered Cos we’re the unpatriotic sons of Yellowbeard What’s football got to do with this? We fuckin hate Jesus and we fucking hate God, If you think he made us, you’re a daft old sod. Just looking at our faces it’s simple to see We evolved from the slimes dumped in the sea. To make woolly jumpers sheep have to be sheared Blah blah blah blah Yellowbeard Which one of you bastards wrote this shit? We didn’t win new faces cos it’s a bastard fix But we all shagged Marti Caine with out 12 inch dicks We never appeared on Opportunity Knocks But that’s because Bob’ a load of bollocks. Where’s the fucking chorus? We’re a bunch of sick perverts on the run We’re not nasty, we just want to have fun Bollocks, we’re evil cunts. We’re a bunch of beastialists who like to shag sheep We’re even humping as they’re jumping in our sleep We make up words like scobble and freard Cos we’re the nutty sons of Yellowbeard What the fuck’s ‘freard’ I ran out of ‘beard’ rhymes You fucking hopeless git.