Basically, all we ever do is send round funny or interesting e-mails to each other. Well, some of us do. We have about 30 members at the moment and only about 6 of them do anything. I'm beginning to think that half of them are dead and someone just forgot to cancel their Internet subscription.
Our former President, Jodi, recently retired and took on the Title 'Founder of the Hideehi People' and now I am the President (cool eh?). We also have a Vice President, a Military Advisor (don't ask, he just sort of keeps the peace), someone in charge of Research and Development and as every committee needs, a Resident Funny Bugger (pardon the swearing, get me a content advisor). I used to be the Funny Bugger but when I ascended to Presidency I appointed Norm/My Dad/Tim who was the Assistant Funny Bugger (he really was the logical choice).
As you can see, apart from me, Hideehi People is filled with good looking people (and unfortunately for me, this is a recent photo. I now have no excuse). I am hoping that after creating this site, and convincing people to send me all their money, I will be able to afford cosmetic surgery and make myself beautiful enough to drink Martini (you have to have seen the adverts to understand that one).
Any way, here is an example of some of the amazing things we get through Hideehi People. This particular piece was written by Norm from LineOne (my ISP) and I'm not biased about how good it is because he is also my Dad, but it is genuinly funny.
Things That Only Happen In The Movies by Tim Kik (Norm)
1:- People never lock car door in movies; and even though they leave them unlocked, the cars never get stolen.
2:- In movies, people always have the exact money when paying cab drivers.
3:- If you see a soldier in a film take out a photograph of his wife and kids and look at it lovingly, then within one minute he's sniper fodder.
4:- When people ring on a doorbell in a film, they expect the door to be opened immediately. If it doesn't open after two seconds they lean on the doorbell until someone answers.
5:- All bedsheets in films are L-shaped. This explains why when you see a couple in bed, the sheet on the woman's side is up to her neck, and the sheet on the man's side is down to his waist.
6:- Also, women who have been rolling round naked with a man all night suddenly come over all modest, and wrap the L-shaped sheet around themselves to go to the bathroom.
7:- When the arch-villain has the hero at his mercy, does he immediately shoot him in the head? No. He attaches the hero to some kind of elaborate device from which the hero can escape when everyone has left the room.
8:- When someone is hit on the head with a club or a pistol they fall down unconscious. They never run around screaming with blood pouring down their face.
9:- And when they wake up they only have a headache, instead of a fractured skull and brain damage.
10:- When cars leap over the bridge that is being raised to let the ship through, they always land on the other side and keep on going, no matter how high the drop. You never see all four wheels fly off and the driver's spine come out of the top of his head.
There is actually more to this article but if you're not a member of Hideehi People then tough luck, you've missed it. If you want to join of course then you can always click on the link below and take the exam.
To e-mail one of the committee (questions about Hideehi People, no verbal poundings please) then just click on the name of whoever you want to mail!)
Becki - Research and Developer
He's here, at last. At the moment, these are the best photos I have of him
because for some reason, every time I try to take one, the camera never
focuses right.
Any way, his name is Norm and I've had him since around June 1996 and he was
born just before I got him (Actually that's a guess, I have no idea). He
is a Beber Skink (aparently) and is supposed to grow up to about 18 inches.
At the moment I think he's about 16 inches long but it's not that easy to
get the little bugger to sit still next to a ruler.