Shopkeeper: Good morning, Pat. Can I help, you?
Pat: You don't seem to heff vot I'm looking for. I need to kick some ass! And I need somesing better dan dis! (holds up tin of baked beans)
Shopkeeper: Why? What's the matter, my dear? You seem fair flustered!
Pat: My Jess hess bin kidnepped by ze evil Major. Do you heff any veapons hier of any description?
Shopkeeper: Just you wait there for a minute, Pat, and I'll have a look in my store room. (she goes into a back room)
Pat: (out loud) Ken you hurry, please. Zis is a matter of life and death!
Shopkeeper: (from rear of shop) Ah! I knew I had some somewhere. Now, let me get these down... (there are a few bangs and bumps, and she emerges from the back room with a large box which she places on the counter) Now let's see what we have here...would this be of any use? (she hands a gun to at)
Pat: Not bad...Colt Magnum...45 calibre...great stopping power. (he works the clip back and forward) Anysing else?
Shopkeeper: Well, there's this big metal pipe thing... (hands it to Pat)
Pat: Very good...bazooka...I'll take both of these, vid tventy clips of ammo and some rockets for der bazooka. Heff you anysing else?
(The shopkeeper gets out the ammo clips and the bazooka rockets; and then reaches in and draws out...)
Pat: Excellent! Der perfect veapon! Uzi...nine millimetre. I'll take it all. Vot do I owe you?
Shopkeeper: (ringing it up on the till) That'll be two thousand pounds and twenty-seven pence please, Pat.
Pat: (getting the money out of his wallet) Hier are der two sousand pounds; but I'll heff to owe you der twenty-seven pence. (he picks up the weapons and turns to leave the shop)
Shopkeeper: You won't forget my twenty-seven pence, will you Pat?
Pat: (calling over his shoulder as he walks throught the door) I'll be back!