Notes
Note for: Kathleen Mary Say, 16 FEB 1907 -
KATHLEEN MARY BALLARD
Before Mum married she worked as a Dressmaker. When her best friend,
Rose, was to be married Mum made Rose's wedding dress. When Mum was to
be married Rose made her wedding dress.
Soon after they were married Mum and Dad moved to Crawley and lived above
a butcher's shop in the old square near the George Hotel (which is now
Crawley High Street).
After that they moved to Hookwood, Horley to a rented house and then
moved to a new rented house opposite, No. 2 Wineham Cottages, which is
where Mum lived for over 46 years..
Shirley was born at the beginning of the 2nd World War. When she was a
baby and was out in the garden in her pram and a V1 Bomber came over Mum
could feel the vibration and dashed out into the garden to bring in the
pram.
We had an Air Raid Shelter built at the bottom of our garden and during
air raids we would have to go into the Shelter along with our nearby
neighbours.
We would go on camping holidays with the Redhill Deaf Club to Devon and
Cornwall every summer.
Mum could not drive a car so would have to walk to Horley to do any
shopping.
Mum used to like gardening and together Mum and Dad would grow vegetables
and kept chickens for the eggs. We also had pet rabbits.
We had a small shed in the garden which was used as a Playroom for
Shirley and I to play in when we were small.
Dad was taken ill with cancer during 1964 and after radium treatment was
able to carry on working. Mum did not know how serious it was as we did
not tell her until 2 or 3 weeks before he died, which was February 1967.
She was just 60 at the time.
Mum was very brave and took the news O.K. But when Dad died she could
not cope with paying the bills as Dad had always paid them and she did
not know what to do. After showing her how to go about it she managed
O.K.
As she got older she found it hard to cope with a large garden. Also
she had arthritis of the hip for which she had an operation for a
replacement hip at the age of 75.
Soon after she moved to Dorking to a Warden controlled flat where she
lived for 7 years. She became friends with two other ladies and they
all flew to Calpe in Spain for a holiday. It was the first time she had
ever flown. They stayed in an Apartment at her Brother, Bernard's,
Villa.
She returned to Calpe with us on another holiday.
Whilst in her flat in Dorking her TV caught fire, but she kept calm and
raised the alarm. It blackened her walls with the smoke. It had to be
redecorated.
Shirley wanted Mum to go and live in a caravan in Sevenoaks, Kent where
Shirley also had one. Mum had to buy her caravan.
After 2 years she decided she would like to live in a Home for the Deaf
and asked me to find one for her. After making enquiries we heard of a
new Home for the Deaf about to be opened in Epsom, Surrey. After a
visit Mum made up her mind to go there and has been there for 5 years.
She goes to a Club for the Deaf and partially sighted at Leatherhead.
Also she attends Church for the Deaf once a month. With her Club she
goes on many outings and near to Xmas they go to a Hotel in Eastbourne
for a `Turkey & Tinsel & weekend.
Now her friend Rose and her husband are also staying at the Home so they
will end their days together.
Notes
Note for: Allice Dean, 14 FEB 1885 - 15 DEC 1978
Alice Ballard (nee Dean) was born 14th February, 1885. One of five
daughters of a family of eight. Her Father was a bespoke Tailor.
At an early age she broke her left leg which prevented her from following
her sisters in domestic service. It did not, however, stop her dancing to
the music of a barrel organ. Guys Hospital, London, repaired the break,
but it was not a good repair and made her feel it was necessary always
to wear dresses of longer hem to hide the deformity. Some time later her
other leg turned varicose which needed regular hospital injections. Her
Father provided the capital to start her own Hand Laundry assisted by her
eldest sister, Emily. The business continued there until the birth of
her first child and afterwards from their houses in County Terrace
Street. It was a narrow street and drying lines stretched from roof to
roof aided by pulleys.
Alice was married on 25th December, 1902 to William Ballard, Blacksmith
and had five children. William, Alice (always called Bob), George, John
and Thomas (called Jim until reference to birth certificate on marriage).
Leaving County Terrace Street Alice took employment as a laundress at
Stockwell Orphanage and other Hospitals. Later she carried on laundering
from home and took on extra work morning and evening for about two hours
each session as a cleaner. It was necessary to do this extra work to
overcome a difficult period of unemployment of husband and son. It is
worth mentioning that during the General Strike and other times of
transport stoppages she always managed to get to work on time walking
about four miles.
About 1931 she suffered a breakdown and was forced to give up home
laundering, but carried on with her other work.
When the Second World War came along her husband obtained a Caretaker's
job at a block of flats where they were living. Her four sons were
called for service, but George was not accepted due to poor hearing.
In 1943 William, her husband, was very ill and admitted to hospital. On
the 14th February, Alice's birthday, a church service was held in the
ward. The service ended with the hymn "Abide with me".
He asked Alice to sing it to him. It was his last request as a birthday
present. He died the next day. Buried at Streatham Cemetery his
memorial stone was inscribed with the first two lines of that hymn.
Later in a cemetery clean up the stone was removed.
The void caused by his death was lessened by Alice working mornings in a
Milk Bar.
Shortly before the end of the War a holiday with a daughter-in-law was
taken in Wales at a little place called Talybont. There was little to do
there and she could not get back to London quick enough once the
Armistice was declared. All three sons returned safely after hostilities
ceased and John emigrated with his wife and daughter to Australia. He did
make one return visit minus his daughter who had died.
By 1953 all Alice's family had passed away and between 1962 - 1967 she
lost Bob and George. John died in 1983. She changed her cleaning jobs to
work at Lincolns Inn. The work was more congenial. She came into
contact with Barristers, Solicitors and titled people who were very kind
to her. She was even invited to a Society Wedding in the country. A
special section of a train was earmarked for the guests. Her work gave
her great pleasure and it altered when at the age of 81 she broke her
right leg returning from work. Once again Guys Hospital did the repair
and they wanted to re-set the previous break when a young girl. This she
refused. During her stay in hospital she did everything she was told so
as to get discharged.
She returned to her flat and although it was ideally suitable the single
flight of stairs was a great obstacle to her going out. She missed her
work and the company it offered. Regular weekly visits were made by
William, Jim and Lily to see she was well provided for. One day it was
noticed that she was not cooking her food and only surviving on chocolate
and sweets.
She went to live with Lily and Jim at their shop, but she still missed
her work and the people she had associated with. As a diversion she went
once a week to a Day Centre but it did not appeal. By this time her brain
was not so alert as it had been when working and it was decided she would
be best in a hospital. Epsom to which she was sent which was not too far
away and she received visits almost every day. There were quite a number
of patients in the hospital and she seemed to be happy. Jim went to see
her one evening and she needed to go places. Holding his arm and using
her stick she got half way across the room when she froze. She could move
neither forward nor back. The signal from the brain had apparently gone.
Later that evening she was transferred to another ward. The ward of no
return Jim called it. Everything had to be done for her. She would just
sit in her chair smiling unable to talk. William and Jim went twice a
week and vowed they would never miss. They kept their word right to the
last. She was there for quite a long time and the end came in 1978. As
the result of a massive heart attack she lapsed into a coma. Lily and Jim
sat with her in a large dormitory for several hours. The only other
person was a nurse who made periodic checks. She kindly offered us a
coffee. We both remarked on its excellent taste. We had used the brand
many times, but it never tasted as nice. We could only believe it was the
local milk.
It turned out to be the "sweetener" before the bitter end some two hours
later. She died on the 16th December, 1978, was cremated and her ashes
put in her husband's grave. Later a new stone surround was laid with
coloured stones inset.