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Last Shopping Day Before
Christmas
Twas the day before Christmas and all the stores were quite hoppin'
They waited until the last minute to finish their gift shoppin'
There was pushing and shoving and grabbing for things
From sweaters and dishes to big diamond rings
The crowds were just buying all the stuff at the mall
They just had to buy presents they had to have them all
I kept walking and looking at the stuff on display
I couldn't wait any longer for today was the last day
As I went by the window a gift caught my eye
I knew exactly what to get and it was time for me to buy
As I went for the present a lady did speak
"I saw it first. I saw it last week!"
I was angry and upset as I began to glare
At this mean old lady with silver white hair
She just laughed as if playing some games,
So I shouted and yelled and called her names:
"You bastard, you whore, you mean little bitch"
"You're ugly and nasty, you old little witch"
She ran to the counter and complained quite a bit
"He's crazy, he's mad and he just threw a fit"
Mall security came running as I stood there and thought
Look at all these gift I could have just bought
I was led out the store and not a person did stop
They kept looking for presents and continued to shop
I wasn't allowed back or even peek through the glass
I hate Christmas shopping it's a pain in the ass
I knew this would happen I knew it would suck
As I walked out the door and went back to my truck
So this I will tell you and listen quite well
Waiting until the last minute will put you through Hell
Do your shopping early start sometime in September
And this short little story you should surely remember
Do something different next year around fall
Don't wait until the last minute to buy your gifts at the mall.
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