Fragile

Here I sit lost in thoughts and memories
If I could go back would I change it all?
If I could go back would I wipe the memories away?
Clear the slate and start all over again?
I feel lost and fragile, like bone chine
Ready to break at moment.

I convince myself everything is cool
But this shit keeps coming back
Memories and emotions, running wild
Running like a river, untamed and cold
I hide behind myself, the walls come up
Run child run, let no one know you.

In the world I walk, fragile and lost
In the world I hide in the music I listen
The tears I fight back, hold it all in
If I start crying, will I stop?
If I start running, will you catch up with me?

Disjointed, schizophrenic thoughts
Like creeping vines you enter my mind
Your face, name, body and words
It's all I see, the memories still fresh
The pain still there, the blood still bleeding.

Oh god how much more can I survive?
How much more can I take?
The bed, the pain, and how many times did I have to beg?
Your laughter still ringing in my ears
Your pushing and shoving, your moaning and groaning
I still fear the tears deep within.