Frell Me!

Frell me, indeed! The 20 questions thing was a master stroke (even though I say so myself) as it only took several emails of 'encouragement' for you to respond in style. The questions were inspired by interviews in the Radio Times (the answers, by something much more warped and sordid) but frell me if there wasn't a similar questionnaire being e-circulated a week or 2 later. As if that wasn't enough, the 'favourite film' question was hi-jacked by Channel 4 and blown out of all proportion in their 100 Greatest Films 2-parter. Just what the frell is going on??

The 20 questions were easy for me, right? Wrong! I wasn't thinking of my answers when I wrote the questions - yes, women can multi-task but ... one thing at a time! The 'favourite film' was a particular stinker for me - I was weened on watching the Saturday matinee with my dad and believe that I've watched more films since then than there are stars in the universe. However, undetered by this impossible task, I drew up my shortlist of about 15 only to have you pick off a few before Channel 4 nabbed the rest. Consequently, I'm sure I spent as much time as you in contemplation, consternation and literary constipation - with very little to show for it.

In a vain attempt to regain some of this lost time, and in an unprecedented moment of charity, I chose not to heckle during your answers, but instead opted to reward my favourite answer to each question with a smiley (see chappy on the left). Sorry if you don't have a smiley but "no correspondence will be entered into" and "the judge's decision is final". The smiley award for "First record you ever bought?" is my way of outing myself. Having 2 older sisters allowed me to remain a closet fan of his without suffering the stigma but I can go no longer without revealing this fact. Incidentally, some of you were born in too cool a time - or you're simply lying about your first record.

Highlights in my life since the last issue include a train journey from hell to somewhere in the backside of the universe (south of the M25). Just as I was beginning to slip into the twighlight zone, on my 4th late train of the day, sat opposite a truly massive Forrest Whittaker look-a-like with my MD dozing diagonally opposite to me, who should step onto the train but ... Kevin. As we reminisced about the Roth years, laughed at my MD catching flies and cursed the Railtrack change manager for changes to the so-called service, the whole experience seemed very surreal. At the end of my 13 hour day (10 hours of which was spent travelling), as I parted company with Kevin and walked to my car, the heavens emptied not rain but a raging torrent on my head. I've never been so wet outside of the shower. We must do it again sometime Kevin ... erm, let's not and say we did.

I recently discovered Big Brother - not the TV phenomenon / rubbish (depending on your viewpoint) but the George Orwell concept of somebody always watching us and even reading our thoughts. I thought it was fiction too but I feel it's my duty to tell you that the real Big Brother is ... Tesco. The fiendishly clever controlling device, known as the Clubcard, tells them about my diet, drinking habits, drug dependencies, choice of (ahem) literature and lusts for music and film. From this they can read my thoughts - they know that: by Monday I've run out of food but have to get home for Farscape, by Tuesday I've run out of beer and will definitely be visiting the store, every 2 months I'll be looking for the new issue of a certain sci-fi magazine, every family birthday I'll be looking for a tasteless card and every 28 days I'll be looking for the Neurofen, a violent DVD and should not be approached under any circumstances. See what I mean?

Oh, I've also been contacted by aliens. I've often thought it to be a remarkable coincidence that my favourite track on a CD/LP is invariably track 3 or 4. Now, I feel as galactically stupid as Lois Lane when she discovers Clark IS Superman - it's so obvious, somebody has been trying to communicate with me.

Time to take a look around - things have changed abit - for the sake of my own sanity, all navigation is now on the left. Also, as part of my "naming 'n' shaming" exercise, I have created a profile of everybody with links to previous contributions. The stars are obvious, as are the slackers - must do better!

Merry Christmas & A Happy New Year!