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Reccommended
Reading
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| Northerner
Saved by piece of Gouda |
| Mr. Simon McCheddar
32, of Cheese Farm, Cramlington in Northumberland is today thanking
God for the large piece of Gouda, that yesterday heroically saved
him from drowning. At about 6:30am yesterday morning, Mr McCheddar
set about his daily duties on his self run cheese farm. At about midday
he sat down next to a stream on his farm to eat his lunch, a large
piece of Gouda, and take in the beautiful Northumbrian countryside |
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| However his peaceful
lunch tuned into tragedy when an escaped chicken ran at him knocking
him headlong into the five inch deep stream.. Unable to swim, McCheddar
splashed about wildly before slipping under the surface. |
| "The next
thing I know" McCheddar explained, "I was laying on the
stream bank with the piece of the gouda rested on my forehead,"
he explained to a bemused press conference. "There absolutely
was no one around for miles, the only explanation is that the piece
of cheese came to life, dived into the stream and dragged me out and
resuscitated me before going to sleep on my head" |
| Mr McCheddar
now plans to keep the piece of gouda as a pet and is often seen around
town with his cheesy friend. However sceptical locals are treating
him with suspicion. One terrified resident even thought that Mr McCheddar
might just be possibly using drugs. Mr McCheddar was somewhat upset
by this accusation and has given a blood sample to his GP. The results
showed that, apart from an excessive amount of cheese, Mr McCheddar's
blood was drug free. |
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