I IDLY scattered with my spoon
the reflections of the moon in my soup, then took a spoonful of moonbeams.
During the hot weather, the continental
habit of eating out-of-doors on pavements had been adapted to my bungalow.
A stone platform jutted out from verandah to garden, with a permanent slate-topped
table in the centre. Each evening when I returned from hospital I found
on this table a large carafe of water, cigars and the book I happened to
be reading (or which my bearer thought I ought to read), and a chair.
Later I dined there with solitary
formality. A tinkle from a temple bell by the second bearer announced the
meal ready. I had changed into white slacks and open-necked shirt. I was
not allowed to stretch out for salt or desert, and according to custom
the bible was brought with coffee.
Though food was simple and monotonous
- rice, chupatties, jungle chicken and vegetable, fruit and mangoes in
season.
There was nothing of the modern
cult of ashram (sharing with the natives) in my jungle life. It had been
rightly decided that apart from health considerations this would only have
led to decreased professional efficiency; and since Indian peasants are
feudal in their outlook, to a lessening of the respect and obedience commanded.
The jungle moonlight had a strange
other-worldliness, so bright but a cold brightness, that it lit up the
countryside for miles around in subdued counterparts of the day's prevailing
browns. It had other uses. Such was the torpor of the day's heat that only
at night did one become alive again, such the endless succession of monotonous
days and nights, that one unconsciously turned back to the primitive way
of measuring passage of time by the heavens, rather than by calendars and
weeks. Tonight, as I watched the large orange moon rise above the jungle
tree-tops, I counted my eighth moon since I had become the 'Eye Maker'.
On the ground, at one corner of
the stone platform flickered a hurricane lantern, so that I might have
early warning of a snake. My portable gramophone was placed at another,
and I sat back listening to Chopin's Nocturne in E Flat, which competed
with the crickets' treble and the bullfrogs' throaty bass.
27 December
1931
Bamdah has recently
been a little too much for me. I was coming out in a crop of boils,
which is a sign of being run down. Last weekend I had to give in
and escaped the thirty miles to Tisri by car. I returned to Bamdah
on the Monday and did another 110 operations in the next three days.
That was as much as I could take and returned to Tisri for a whole week
to have a break. |
I was feeling acutely lonely after
eight months alone in the jungle, and almost feared to look ahead to many
more. I began to talk aloud to myself, arguing both sides of a problem.
A Dak country edition of the Calcutta newspaper The Statesman came by post
each day, which helped to keep me sane. I sent them an article, which was
accepted, and that encouraged me to write for the Manchester Guardian and
other papers. I had casual visits from Indian officials on tour, one of
whom laughingly likened my circumscribed freedom to Gandhi's? I asked him
to bring me a pot of jam from town sixty miles distant, on his next visit.
And as always, humour broke through.
In my isolation and with my white
skin, I became a local curiosity. My gramophone encouraged the Santals
in my loss of privacy, attracting the curious whenever I turned it on.
The most popular record with children was Harry Lauder's 'Stop yer ticklin'
Jock' , they roared with laughter with the singer, and never tired of it.
Then on hospital hat (market) days,
when Santals came to barter their homegrown tobacco for spices and oils,
bevies of artless Santal maidens, merry and innocently brazen, entered
my garden uninvited and decked their hair with scarlet hibiscus blossoms.
Becoming bolder they approached my verandah hoping to hive a glimpse of
me, and discussing whether they should go further. Here my watchful servant
took over, who gave a free conducted tour of the doctor sahib's lounge,
dining room, bedroom and bathroom, to the strangeness and apparent grandeur
of which they all expressed delight, as if it had been a stately home.
The full length mirror in the bedroom was always popular, producing shrieks
of delight.
Only one thing mystified them.
They could never find the zenana (women's quarters), and when Sardar my
servant disclosed the sad news that I was unmarried, they thought my parents
had been very remiss indeed in not arranging it.
| 28 November
1931 I am continually being asked if I am not allowed
to marry – and was I a Monk! When told this is not so, they
wish to know why I am not married, what year I will marry, and always(!)
what my salary is. One presumably wants to think of marriage between
the age of 25 and 30; the chances here are nil. I have seen
a number of missionaries who came out single – and they have married fellow
missionaries ten and fifteen years older than themselves. What a
future to look forward to! |
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