13    ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS AND MARRIED LIFE

Introduction

This chapter will examine the effects of life in England on the women's relationships with partners and ex-partners.  It will consider whether, as is claimed by academics such as Ma (1996) and Kelsky (2001) dreams of cross-cultural relationships with English 'gentlemen' play a significant factor in the interviewee's desires to live abroad.  It will also examine the lives of Japanese women married to or divorced from British men and consider what they have to say about cross-cultural relationships.  Finally, it will look at the relationships of those women who are here as company wives to their Japanese husbands, and consider how a change of country can affect their relationships.

  Unlike most other aspects of Japanese female migration, there is no shortage of academic research and public debate on Japanese women's relationships abroad.  In British Japanese-language newspapers throughout the period of research there has been continued debate about the preponderance of Japanese women dating English men, much of it highly critical.  For example, the article "Girls, Be Ambitious (Aim Higher!)" in the Eikoku News Digest (Hashimoto 2001) asks women "Why, as soon as you go abroad, do your standards drop?  Will any Westerner do?" and exhorts women to have more pride in themselves and stop dating "geeks", "markedly inferior men" and "monkey boys" (see also the response to this article, "Geeks have a right to live too" by Bitto 2001).

Moreover, the issue of women's apparent rejection of repressed Japanese men in favour of yasashisa (kind) white men as part of the akogare (longing) for the Western dream has been a media phenomenon since women began travelling abroad in great numbers in the 1980's.  It is well documented in academic works (Ma 1996 and Kelsky 2001), and in romanticised accounts written by Japanese women abroad (for example see Marks,1992 on why the English are gentlemen and all Japanese men are gay), and it is criticised in some very biased journalistic reporting such as the media frenzy over the issue of 'Yellow Cab' women (for an English account of Shoko Ieda's book, Yellow Cab, and the media fallout see Ma 1996).  It cannot be denied that akogare exists.  Having lived in Japan I am well aware of the power of the white man (and white woman) as a marketing tool to sell anything from hair care products to kimono (see Creighton in Carrier 1996, on the 'Other' in advertising).  However, my own research suggests that the salaciousness of the topic means that women's other motivations for travelling abroad and rather more critical views of cross-cultural relationships have been ignored.  As my own study progressed, it became obvious that whoever the media were referring to it was not the women I was interviewing.  Single women and those who had spent time here as single women before they married did not recognise themselves as they were represented in the media.  Married Japanese women, unless they were women happily married to Western men (as opposed to Japanese men), were rarely mentioned in the media at all.



The Myth of the Single Woman

Whilst akogare for white (preferably blonde) Western men has been identified by Ma and Kelsky as a strong motivating factor in some single Japanese women's decisions to emigrate, to accept this as the motivation of a majority of Japanese women is simply erroneous.  Whilst most of the women interviewed were happy to date non-Japanese men (and others are not - see below) this does not seem to be a motivating factor in their decision to travel abroad.  Whilst only one woman actually declared she was against the idea of an international marriage, it seems that their prime motivation is their studies or their careers.  Indeed, having talked enthusiastically at length about the sacrifices they had made to get here, how much they enjoyed their studies, and their future goals on graduation, questions of marriage were generally met with apathetic answers.

I don't think about that.  I don't know, I might or I may not  ...Well, once my mother asked me for sending a photo [in order to arrange an omiai, a meeting, with a go-between on behalf of a man who was looking for a wife] and I said I was going to stay here a few more years to do research so there is no point ... we are supposed to exchange photos if I am really interested and I said "No, I'm really not", so that's it.  (Mitsuko Sato)

Most women said they do not have a marriage or relationship plan.  Several women stated that they want to have children but weren't particular about finding a husband.  This apathy seems to be part of a general disillusionment not, as Kelsky suggests, with Japanese men but with the current state of Japanese society and with women's traditional gender role within it.

You see the rising divorce rate and non-marriage in Japan so people's expectation for marriage has gone down considerably and people don't have children any more in Japan because of the high cost of education and housing.  You can't sort-of buy a huge place to raise a child and environment is going downhill and everything ... For example my relations they all have one child, not two, and they seem to get along better that way.  Well, if you have two or three, the wives seem to become a full-time carer and they seem to be overfocused with children's needs rather than other things like their own interests, pursuing their own interests as a woman. ... It's too much hard work ... Nowadays people don't have any [children].  Like Italy.  (Ikumi Whittaker)

Interestingly, since male-dominated society is often identified by feminist academics (such as Fujimura-Fanselow & Kameda 1995) as the cause of the apparent 'breakdown' in gender relations there was little direct criticism by the interviewees of Japanese men themselves.  Indeed a couple of the single interviewees had left boyfriends back in Japan, one was living with her Japanese boyfriend whom she had met in England and one had just married a Japanese man, and most expressed both pity and admiration for Japanese men because the bonds that tie them into Japanese society are much harder to break.

So I have a sort of, certain amount of respect for men who quit their jobs and then come here rather than sent by the company to do some company job or study.  I have a certain amount of respect because I know for men it's really difficult.  Because women again we don't have anything to lose in a company because our chance of being promoted is remote but men, they got promoted automatically. (Rimika Toyoda)

I don't know what [my Japanese boyfriend, currently studying in England] will do in future.  Maybe he will come back to Japan but he has to spend a much tougher life than me in Japan as a man.  So I think he's much happier to live in foreign country.  (Hitomi Maeda)

Rimika Toyoda's (ex-) boyfriend had initially supported her when she made her decision to study abroad.

  I knew he wanted to marry as soon as possible.  He wanted to marry when he was 26 or something but I needed a bit of adventure, I needed a bit of a challenge before I settled and that's why I decided to come, and he supported me but he changed his mind.

  Rimika's situation is fairly typical of the problems in gender relations in Japan today.  Her boyfriend, forging a career in his company, had a fixed idea of how his future should be.

  For him, having one boy and one girl - he had already decided the names as well - and a nice wife, a good family and he wanted to take the company accommodation because it's cheap.

When he married someone else, Rimika, far from criticising him as repressed and conservative, was much more philosophical about it.

"Of course it was a bit of a shock but I didn't blame him, never, because I really like him I sincerely, sincerely hoped and still do that he will be very happy and I can't make him happy because the definition of happiness for him is different from my definition ...I'm not a team player".

Like many of the women interviewed, Rimika has her own dream, one that did not fit with her boyfriend's plans and, it seems, is increasingly failing to fit with Japanese social expectations for women.  The women came to England not because of an akogare for white men but because they were rejecting the traditional Japanese life course for women and were seeking personal fulfilment through the pursuit of higher education.



"I never thought of going out with an English"

Contrary to the view that most Japanese women have an akogare for foreign men, some of the single Japanese women had simply not considered dating outside their own race, and most have some rather strong criticisms of British men.

While marriage in Britain is generally considered a romantic bond of couples, in Japan, as in many other countries in the world and historically amongst upper classes in the West, marriage is viewed as the linking of two families, with all the benefits and duties that entails (Hendry 1981).  A woman does not marry a man, she marries his family too.  Because of this, some interviewees were happy to date 'foreign' men on a casual basis for fun but do not consider them marriage material.

  It should be noted that although the unmarried students are challenging social expectations by going abroad long-term to improve their educations they expressed a great desire to fulfil their traditional obligations to their parents.  In some cases this meant actually rejecting white men as potential marriage partners.

I never thought of going out with an English.  No, you see it's strange now that I think about the whole affair because I could have gone out with an English but I never did or never thought of going out with an English because I think it's to do with my father.  Because he knew we were all going out, we'd be educated abroad, he made sure that we wouldn't be going out with non-Japanese people.  It's funny, my mother kept saying, "You're not going to go out with any English", you know.  It's not that my parents are racist or anything but they want their daughters back to Japan.  If they find anyone in abroad, they'll stay there.  So they're really worried about that and so whenever I thought of fancying someone in England I always thought of my parents, I thought "No, I shouldn't.  This is wrong".  Not really consciously but underneath there was always that kind of barrier, obstacle ...I couldn't do this.  (Rie Inoue)

Such a view suggests that the cultural restrictions that Japanese society places on dutiful daughters remains strong even at a distance but this did not seem to be the reason for their decision not to date outside their race.  A common criticism of England is the coldness of English people ( sometimes feeling cold, cold relationship, I feel" - Tomoko O'Connell), the lack of a good family danran (literally, a happy circle), the distance between relatives and the general lack of care for others. Whilst they see the advantages of living an independent life, there is a strong feeling that this should not apply to family bonds.

  It's strange because I heard many charity, charity, charity in England but here again, if I see the individual families, it's quite cool, detached from each other ... like when brother or sister get married and it seems the relationship became thinner and thinner ... like my elder brother-in-law, they are not that close to parents, which I don't know why because parents brought them up and then parents work so hard to bring them up, and the way to appreciate their hard work [which they] gave to us is when we are old enough and an earn enough so we can take them round together and we can treat them and we really want to physically or financially, if we can we will do, [for example] take a trip.  (Yoshiko Cooper)

In Japan the ie or household continues to represent the ideal image (if not the actuality) of family life and appears to exert a strong influence on the single women's view of how marriage should be.  For this reason, the unmarried interviewees stated that should they marry at all, for reasons of proximity to family and obligations to one's parents, a Japanese man is preferable.

At least for my parents' sake I would say Japanese person would be better, I think, because compared to Britain marriage is more to do with the family thing in Japan, and I think my parents would be more relieved if my husband's home town is in Japan rather than in Britain.  And then it's easier when something happen to my parents, if they get really sick and then it's much easier than [if] my husband is in Britain, I am in Japan taking care of my parents.  (Naomi Yamamoto)

There is also concern about the dating scene in England.  This highlights the cultural differences between the public and the private in England and Japan.  Rie Inoue and others felt uncomfortable with the very public nature of dating in England, as opposed to Japan where who you date is often kept a secret.

If you go out with someone instantly you become an object of scandal or gossip, you know, "Oh, she's started seeing him".  It becomes very social and I don't like that kind of relationship, I want my personal life to remain personal and I think in that kind of circumstance I couldn't have gone out with anyone where everyone knows who's going out with who.  So when I went out in the second year, I went out with a Japanese in a different college, not within [my own].  (Rie Inoue)

Whilst some of the women had dated non-Japanese men, there was quite a bit of criticism of the behaviour of some of British men towards Japanese women.  Most women were shocked at how they were perceived by foreign men and consequently how they were treated.  They felt that they had been targeted by foreign men simply because they were viewed as subservient Japanese 'babes' and consequently they tend to avoid clubs and societies where they feel harassed.

And I really don't mind whether or not my boyfriend is particularly interested in Japanese girls.  And I would rather see it as negative because I want to have affair on very individual basis and if I am, I would be attracted by his personality.  So unfortunately that person I had really brief affair [with] was quite interested in Japanese girls.  (Mitsuko Sato)

This criticism extends to foreign men in Japan, "because some of them they weren't nice foreigners, gaijinsan.  You never know how their motive is when they come to Japan" (Yoshiko Cooper).  British stereotypical views of Japanese women will be examined further in Chapter 15.



International Marriages (kokusai kekkon)

According to Japanese embassy figures for 1999 there were 6,434 Japanese women permanently resident in England yet only 2,369 men.  Although statistics on international marriage are largely non-existent it can be assumed that most permanent residents are married to British people.  This assumption is reasonable because, as previously noted, it is very difficult to secure a working visa.  Once again the media and academics such as Ma and Kelsky see the greater number of Japanese women than Japanese men in cross-cultural marriages as an indication that Japanese women choose liberating international marriages and reject repressive marriages with conservative Japanese men.  While this may well be the case amongst their informants in the United States, this rather Western view of 'repressive East - liberating West' is not supported by the views of my own interviewees in England.  As Mitsuko Sato notes:

You can't explain the imbalance of the figures and the proportional ratio just by speculating the nature of the relationships, just simply many women are more motivated to do something in England, are more motivated than Japanese men.  And they just come and stay longer.  And maybe Japanese men are under more pressure from their employers so they never get any chance to take years off.

It simply comes down to availability .  Since women are able to travel abroad more freely, they arrive in greater numbers and therefore there is a greater chance that more of them will meet and marry British men.  The Andressen and Kumagai report (1996) also makes the point that Japanese women who travel abroad are more highly qualified than Japanese men, who are generally dropouts from the Japanese system at a much lower stage.  Japanese women are therefore older, of a more marriageable age, and generally have access to a wider society, their social circles not being limited to language schools.  And of course the flip side of women's freedom to travel as individuals is the fact that it is generally Japanese men who are posted abroad with their companies, with the stipulation that they must have wives to look after them whilst they are there.  So it is the case that most Japanese women travel abroad independently and are single whilst the men are posted and are married.  Once again whilst I am not saying that Ma and Kelsky are incorrect, I argue that the issue of cross-cultural marriage is more complex than can be explained by akogare alone.

It is not the purpose of this study to gauge whether international marriages are successful or not.  Not only is there a lack of statistical evidence but since I interviewed women who are currently living in England and have done so for at least two years, I was unlikely to come into contact with divorcees since they generally returned home to Japan.  Only one divorcee, Ikumi Whittaker, has stayed on because her daughter has special educational needs that cannot be met in Japan.  So the interviewees are women in continuing marriages and their words must be viewed in this light.  Having said that, no-one claimed their lives are necessarily any easier outside 'repressive' Japanese society.

A lot of them have given up a lot to stay away from their family and home town and live in another country.  Sometimes the family don't want you to marry somebody who's not Japanese.  You don't get to see your family very often, you don't get to see your friends very often, you know, the ones back in Japan.  (Sayuri Kawakami)

Although apparently happily married, most women are keen to stress just how much they have given up for their international marriages.  For example, there is a definite sense of guilt at having gone against their parents' wishes which, although they do not regret their decisions, seems to concern them.  Yoshiko was working as a flight attendant in Hong Kong (considered a prestigious 'international' job for women) when she met William.

We had a lot in common but in my heart I knew that my mother says never ever marry to the foreigners when you go to Hong Kong.  So I had a guilt conscience but maybe I respect him as more like a nice gentleman, nothing to do with love at that time.  But within six months we kept in touch quite closely and we decide to engage, so within eight, nine  month[s] we decided to get married - we registered - but I couldn't tell my mother and my family in Okinawa so I left maybe one year and I mentioned to my mother, and she was very, very disappointed or sad.  ... Well, perhaps she was already disappointed in me leaving the country.  (Yoshiko Cooper)

The distance between England and Japan is stressed, particularly when it comes to helping each other out.

I think still, because if Japanese women marry foreign men, there is a possibility they go to that foreign country.  That's very far.  That is a problem for Japanese side because Japanese parents want their daughter [to] stay in Japan. And also they feel safe if daughter's husband is Japanese because they are in the same society and they know each other and of course they are in koseki [family register - foreigners are not registered in koseki].   (Sachiko Adams)

I think she [my mother] was hoping that I would marry to somebody who was well recognised in the kind-of status-wise and wealthy.  Well, wealthwise was not the priority but just stay closer, I think, whenever she needs the help and I'll be there within an hour or so.  (Yoshiko Cooper)

It also seems that the view of the Western man as the 'foreign barbarian' persists especially in the minds of the older generation who remember the war or the post-war period when Japan was under military occupation.  In several cases the decision to marry a foreigner was a traumatic one, with parents taking the view that their daughters were being stolen.  When Sachiko Adams became engaged to Malcolm, she and her daughter, Rumi, from her previous marriage, moved into his Tokyo apartment.

So Malcolm and I started to go out and because now I felt my daughter Rumi is fine with him and we decide to marry and my parents were so upset ...And so now my parents felt, "Oh, foreign man steal my daughter and our grandchild".  Poor Malcolm.  It's terrible.  And one day we, when my parents were not at home, Malcolm and I and friends carried all my furniture and everything to Malcolm's flat.  Then Rumi and I disappeared from my parents.  They are shocked.  They are angry and that was in December near the Christmas time and they know where I and Rumi live and Christmas morning my aunt came to that place and I don't know what happened because I was out of the room but Malcolm answered and my aunt 'Pssht!'  How can I say?  [Demonstrates slapping him in the face.]  Yes, she shouted in Japanese something I don't know because he doesn't understand what she said.  Poor him!  Christmas morning!  So all reaction, like all my parents and all my relatives think, "It's horrible things happen".  (Sachiko Adams)

In addition to the guilt of marrying a foreigner and the feeling of loss at being parted from one's family, the women have to face the realities of daily life in England, a country that four of the five had never visited before their marriages and knew little about.  For women who had met and married their husbands abroad, the stresses of everyday life in a strange country, far away from the support of their own families, can be overwhelming.  As Ikumi, who runs a support group for such women notes:

Well, a lot of Japanese women move here and their husband's English and they seem to be quite, fairly needy and they just haven't got enough energy or ... you know, mental stability to give time or efforts or they're so isshoukenmei [trying as hard as they can], sort-of trying to live isshoukenmei, so they're just so busy I think.  Just [to] have a daily living it's hard work.  Well, because sometimes they don't understand what English system is and it's stressful to be living in England.  And particularly if they don't speak English ... and then they have a problem with their husband's mother or something and everything could be quite draining.  (Ikumi Whittaker)

Two common issues were frequently raised, the first being the total reliance on husbands when it comes to dealing with their children's educational matters, a problem compounded when their lack of language proficiency prevents the women from reading even school newsletters.  This causes a great deal of stress since in Japan it is a mother's duty to oversee their children's education.  The second issue is the lack of closeness with their husbands' families in comparison with the social and economic interdependency of Japanese households.  Traditional expectations for marriage seem to endure even in a cross-cultural relationship.

  It's such hard work to be living with a foreign husband as well.  It's a constant stress.  Well, because in Japan it's almost like you don't have to discuss things but over here if you're Japanese and your husband's English even food is a trouble and everything has to be discussed in the West whereas in Japan you don't need to really discuss everything but people expect the normal things to happen.  And having someone with a different culture you have to discuss from one to ten.  Tsukareru ne [Tiring, isn't it?].  And I think that's a huge drawback in a multicultural family.  ( Ikumi Whittaker)

This stress can be compounded by the fact that, having gone against one's parent's wishes in order to marry, wives feel unable to go to their parents in Japan or to their husbands' parents when they have any problems, and often must deal with tough situations alone.

I am married now and made a pledge with him of course and I do love him and care about him but I have to be honest with you that I am very, very ... inside my heart is very sad because I cannot express to anybody because if I express my sadness, my disappointment it will hurt his family members. But I know how to make alternative ways, so I'm alright.  But it has been very, very difficult.  (Yoshiko Cooper)

Several Japanese women (single and married) were highly critical of British men for being disinterested in their wives' or girlfriends' culture.

They don't seem to think about her nationality when they marry her because obviously she was good looking and quite tall and I don't think English husbands think about the culture she's bringing in, along with her body and a nice face.  As long as she's sexy that's fine, isn't it.  (Ikumi Whittaker)

These women were keen to point out that it was they themselves who are therefore forced to adapt to their husbands' or boyfriends' culture.  Consequently Japanese women in cross-cultural marriages tend to be much more outgoing and speak good English.

On the whole I think people are willing to try a bit harder because of the language barriers and cultural differences but it really depends on the individuals ...It's a different lifestyle and you've got to be prepared for that.  I think it is a huge thing to embark on and I think when you've embarked on it you're more prepared to be adventurous and just to make friends and find your own niche here somehow.  (Sayuri Kawakami)

Japanese wives of the British men seem more likely to have close friendships with other Japanese wives married to local men, and Japanese women's groups tend to be founded by or headed by these wives - it makes sense since they're here for the long haul and have a greater compulsion to begin long-term projects.  Moreover, "they're much more likely to make English friends and to be more prepared to go back and forth with English people" ( Sayuri Kawakami).  Those with English friends seem to feel less inclined to involve themselves with the Japanese expatriate community of company wives, indeed, some actively avoid it.  Japanese women in successful international marriages create very different lifestyles from expatriates;  a "different balance" because, as Sayuri Kawakami notes "the big thing with expats is the feeling that you're always going to go home, you know that this is temporary whereas if you marry an English bloke then you're here pretty much for life".



Expatriate Couples

Living abroad can either put strain on an existing marriage or bring a couple closer together.  The company wives of Japanese salarymen are suddenly placed in a position where they can compare their marriage to those of another culture, and whether that comparison is favourable or not may decide the marriage's fate.

Japanese marriages, as previously stated, are generally based more on practical compatibility than the Western concept of 'romantic love',  and are more gender defined.  Japanese women have fewer expectations of their husbands in the home.  But on arrival in England, they become aware of 'British' marriages.

They find it hard because their husbands don't come home very early,  which in Japan is quite normal for husbands to come home very late and then not to help with the children and things, but here they see [British] husbands coming home early and helping with the housework and the children and they suddenly think, "I don't think I've got a very good life".  They think, "It's not fair.  Oh!".  And up until now they almost expected that that's their life but now they feel like "Oh ...".  And I think suddenly their eyes have been opened to a whole new world and their expectation - they're not quite sure what to expect - their expectation of life is a little bit more than it was in Japan in terms of what they want their husbands to do.  (Sayuri Kawakami)

This may lead to a process of reassessment of the marriage with couples gradually growing apart.

A lot of marriages literally break down abroad, I think.  I mean they don't get divorced out here but you withdraw your heart from the whole relationship and you see it in people a lot.  People come to our barbecues once a year and over the years if you've had them over every year you either see them getting closer together or growing apart and more likely than not, sadly, you see them grow apart a lot more because there's so much resentment there.  (Sayuri Kawakami)

Alternatively marriages can grow stronger abroad, when couples face overseas experiences together, sharing the stresses and enjoying the financial benefits of expatriate life.

It brings them closer together in one sense because they've got nobody else to rely on.  (Sayuri Kawakami)

Sometimes a reassessment of the marriage can lead to a realisation of the benefits of marrying within one's own culture.  Many times I was told stories of just how useless Japanese husbands are in the home, yet the women seemed proud of this reliance the men had on their wives.  Even career women such as Rie Inoue, currently studying for a doctorate in England and basing herself in England and South East Asia where her Japanese husband is posted, enjoyed regaling myself and an English friend with stories of her domestically useless husband and how she had to sort out the mess every time she visited him.  Indeed, she was as equally proud of it as she was full of admiration for his devotion to work.

Even after all these years in England I still feel obliged to do housework.  Oh, I never let my [Japanese] husband do anything.  Especially because he's now working from 7.30 to 11.00 I don't want him to do it but still, it comes quite natural that my husband leaves everything behind, dirty dishes, dirty clothes ... So anyway, that is how bad it is with Japanese men. I mean, he's very open-minded, he's very Westernised even if he's never lived in abroad ... but still he doesn't know housework.  He's useless. [laughing].  (Rie Inoue)

This and other women's stories of their 'useless husbands' were generally told with a lot of laughter and served to show just how much their husbands relied upon them within their marriages and how much they enjoyed being needed by their husbands (an explanation of the concept of amae or dependence in Japanese relationships can be found in Doi 1989).   They also emphasize the wives' domestic dominance and attest to their importance as support workers in their husband's careers.  Japanese marriage duties are gender defined, and many women find new interest in their roles as support workers for their husbands (and their companies).  For many women it seems that their dual roles as housewife and mother (much derided in England but still respected in Japan) are strengthened because they are challenged in a foreign environment.



Conclusion

Kelsky's interviewees were "highly educated, urban, mostly single career women between the ages of twenty and forty-five, with extensive study abroad or work experience and English-language expertise" (2001:5). They "generally live alone and worked at foreign-affiliate firms or international organisations".  My interviewees are mostly married:  seven to Japanese men, four to English men, one has a long-term Japanese partner, and one is divorced from an English man.  Only four are single.  Their English varies from fluent to non-existent.  Perhaps it is not so surprising that our results diverge somewhat.  The two main reasons for the difference in the findings are the length of time the women have lived in England, and their marital status.

  Although the suggestion is that most of Kelsky's interviewees are living in America, no length of time is specified.  Some of her informants are likely to have lived in the United States for less than two years.  Kelsky also notes that 140,000 Japanese women study abroad each year and that "such mobility is not an elite phenomenon but is grounded firmly in the middle classes" (2001:5, and for a definition of 'elite' see Appendix A).   However, it has already been noted that women living long-term in England are indeed elites, and that it is only those with financial resources available to them as elites that enable them to remain abroad more than two years.  These elite women seem much more focused on a study or career ambition than those who travel to the Japanese communities in the United States in which Kelsky found her informants.  Consequently the single students in England seem largely apathetic about marriage, and lacking in akogare for Western men.

Moreover, Kelsky's informants are single and moved to America of their own free will, whereas my most of my interviewees are married and have accompanied their husbands to England.  They are therefore less likely to entertain romantic, akogare images of international marriages and were keen to point out the practicalities of cross-cultural relationships and the stresses they can bring.  Company wives are also more aware of the effects, both positive and negative, of a foreign environment on a marriage.

Kelsky set out to prove the existence of akogare for white men amongst some young, single, middle class Japanese women who travel to the United States and this she has done.  My research, however, is a reminder that this does not apply to all Japanese women.  Japanese women living long-term in England have other, less salacious, motivations for residing here.