From chubby sociopath to semi-svelte would-be lothario in only 10 years!
with the XTC Diet and Excercise Plan!
|
From chubby sociopath to semi-svelte would-be lothario in only 10 years!
|
|
Yes, it's TRUE! By purchasing the back catalogue of this band you too can undergo the startling transformation illustrated above. In the first picture our hapless example is a mightily-midriffed loser with horrible curly hair, but in the second - a mere ten years later - his hair is shorter (mostly by choice, though the forehead has expanded considerably - current research indicates that this is likely to be caused by the expansion of the superb brain contained behind it) and, if you squint, you may notice that the face is a little less fleshy. In places. Honest.How was this achieved? By hypnotism? By some near-illegal mix of potions and horse pills? No, my friends, no. This magnificent transformation was the product of one thing alone, the influence of a (sort of) popular beat combo from Swindon.
Book yourself into the Bungalow Health Club and take advantage of the XTC Diet and Excercise Plan's simple and effective methodology:-
06:00 Wake Up
06:30 Jump
How far and how high is open to interpretation. The train for Gomorrah leaves at 06:15.
07:00 Shake You Donkey Up
Please seek the advice of a medical professional before attempting this excercise.
08:00 Bike Ride To The Moon
Helmet wearing is compulsory.
13:00 Lunch
Oranges and Lemons
14:00 Meccanik Dancing
Yacht Dance, Neon Shuffle and War Dance classes are also available to all.
15:00 Leisure
Toys will be provided.
16:00 Work
All guests are expected to knuckle down and work overtime.
20:00 This Is The End
Special notices:
The Procession Towards Learning Land has been cancelled. Blame the weather.
If any of these excercises lead to excess beating of hearts, please see Matron for an Egyptian solution.
Please remember that the Bungalow Health Club is situated in a smokeless zone.
