Humour 3

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" rowspan="2" width=10.375% BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" background="0070ce82egerdp.png"> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Middleton Ambulance Station"><U><B>Home</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id64.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Humour 4"><U><B>Next Page</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id26.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Humour 2"><U><B>Back</B></U></A></div> <bR> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=70 BGCOLOR="#CC99CC" TEXT="#080000" background="00626611ezuady.png"> <div> <B>Middleton Ambulance Station</B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" height=410 colspan=2 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B>Humour</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B><IMG SRC="4a964650.jpg" border=0 width="100" height="101" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B> <TABLE BORDER="2" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="307" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" BGCOLOR=#FFFF00 > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 ><NOBR><div> <B>Why Ambulance Vehicles  Are So Popular.......  </B></div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> </TABLE></B></div> <bR> <div> <I> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="595" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 289 WIDTH="589"><div> <I>Battery, oil, water, fuel and tyres do not need checking nearly as often. </I></div> <bR> <div> <I>They need cleaning less often, especially inside.</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>They can be driven for long distances with the oil warning light on.</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>Unusual and alarming engine noises can be eliminated by adjusting the radio volume.</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>No security is needed. The vehicle can be safely left unattended, unlocked with the keys in the ignition.</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>Reverse gear can be engaged while the vehicle is moving forward.</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>They can take bumps at twice the speed of normal vehicles.</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>Heavily reinforced tyre walls allow any gutter to be negotiated at any speed or angle.</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>The suspension is upgraded to allow for the carriage of building material, horse feed, computer desks and occasionally patients.</I></div> </tD> </tR> </TABLE></I></div> <bR> <div> <I> <TABLE BORDER="2" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="201" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" BGCOLOR=#FFFF00 > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP BGCOLOR=#FFFF00 HEIGHT= 16 ><NOBR><div> <B>Revised Medical Terminology</B></div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> </TABLE></I></div> <bR> <div> <I> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="439" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#FFFFFF" BORDERCOLORDARK="#0099CC" FRAME="BOX" RULES="NONE" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" BGCOLOR=#FFFBF0 > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Alimentary </I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>What Holmes said to Watson</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Anti-Body </I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Against everyone</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Artery</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>The study of painting </I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Atonic </I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Goes with your gin</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Bacteria</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Back door of a cafe</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Barium</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <I>What they do to doctors mistakes </I></div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Benign</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <I> What an eight-year-old wants to be </I></div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Bowel</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>A letter like A,E,I,O,U</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Buccal </I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Does up your belt</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Caesarean section</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>A district in Rome</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Cardiology </I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <I>Advanced study of poker playing </I></div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Carpal </I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <I>Someone you drive to work with </I></div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Castrate</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <I>Market price for setting a fracture</I></div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Cat scan</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Searching for a kitten</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Cauterise</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Made eye contact with her </I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 33 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Circle of Willis</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>A strange induction ceremony for all new recruits to undergo</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Colic </I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Sheepdog </I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Coma</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Punctuation mark </I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Congenital</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Friendly</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>C.P.R.</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Cracking Patient's Ribs</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Cystogram</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>A cable sent to your sister</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Diarrhea </I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Journal of daily events</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Dilate</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>To live long </I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>D&C</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Where Washington is</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Eclampsia</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Nasty traffic warden</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 33 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Elixir</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>What a friendly dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Enema</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Not a friend</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>ER  </I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <I>The things on your head that you hear with</I></div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Faeces</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <I>Scottish pronunciation of FACES</I></div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Fester</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Quicker than someone else</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Fibula</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>A small lie</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Ganglia </I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>A very tall thin person </I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Genes </I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Blue denim slacks</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Gravidity</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Of a serious nature</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Grippe</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>To complain</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 49 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Heimlich Maneuver</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Military plan by the Germans to place their towels on the poolside chairs earlier than anybody else. </I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>ICU </I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Peek-a-boo </I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Intern </I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>One after another</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Impotent</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Of high standing </I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Islet of Langerhans</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <I>A small fishing community off the Irish coast. </I></div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Keratin</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>An idiot</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Labour pain</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Getting hurt at work</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Medical staff</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Doctors walking stick </I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Minor Operation</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Coal Digging</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Morbid</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Make a higher offer</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Navel</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <I>Pertaining to the sea faring armed forces. </I></div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Nitrate </I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Cheaper than the day rate</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Node </I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Was aware of</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Orifice</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Where the clerical staff work</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Organic </I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Musical</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Outpatient</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>A person who has fainted</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Papsmear </I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Fatherhood test</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Paradox</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>A couple of quacks</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Paralyse</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Two far-fetched stories </I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Pelvis</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Cousin of Elvis </I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Phlebitis</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Flea bites</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Pons</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <I>Someone who is always sponging.</I></div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Post operative</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Mailman</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Protein </I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>In favour of young people </I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Quadriplegia</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <I>A great film about Mods and Rockers. </I></div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Recovery room</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Place to do upholstery </I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Rectum</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Damn near killed them</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Rheumatic</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Thinking about love </I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Saline </I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Where you go on your boat</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Secretion</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Hiding something</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Seizure </I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Emperor of Rome </I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 ><NOBR><div> <I>Subarachnoid Space</I></div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <I>Where aquatic underwater spiders live</I></div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Tablet </I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Small table </I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Terminal illness </I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Getting sick at the airport </I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Tibia </I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Country in North Africa </I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Tumour</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>An extra pair </I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Urine </I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Opposite of ‘You’re out’ </I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Urethra</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> <I>Franklin, a great female vocalist</I></div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Varicose </I><I>veins</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Veins not far apart</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Vein </I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Conceited </I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Wheeze</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>Posh term for having a laugh</I></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 WIDTH="164"><div> <I>Y-Chromosome</I></div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="264"><div> <I>When you can chrome it all! </I></div> </tD> </tR> </TABLE></I></div> <bR> <div> <B> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="607" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 1062 WIDTH="601"><div> <I> <TABLE BORDER="2" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="149" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" BGCOLOR=#FFFF00 > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 ><NOBR><div> <B>Patient Examinations</B></div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> </TABLE></I></div> <bR> <div> <I>A well developed adolescent female was being examined by the paramedic for cold symptoms.  The paramedic who was standing behind the patient, leaned over her shoulder with a stethoscope to his ears and said, "big breaths".</I></div> <div> <I>The young girl, hesitated for a second, then replied, "I know, and I'm only 12 !</I></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <I>Paramedic:   "It's no good. I can't find anything wrong with you. It must just be the effects of drinking." </I></div> <div> <I>Patient:         "Come back when you're sober then!"</I></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <I>Patient to the Paramedic: </I></div> <div> <I>"It hurts when I press here" (pressing his side) </I></div> <div> <I>"And when I press here" (pressing the other side) </I></div> <div> <I>"And here" (his leg) </I></div> <div> <I>"And here, here and here" (his other leg, and both arms) </I></div> <bR> <div> <I>The Paramedic examined him all over and finally discovered what was wrong... "You've got a broken finger!" </I></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <I> <TABLE BORDER="1" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="103" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" BGCOLOR=#FFFF00 > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 ><NOBR><div> <B>Take Time Off</B></div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> </TABLE></I></div> <bR> <div> <I>From 30 Minutes to 2 Hours</I></div> <div> <I>Tell control that..................</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>You have a dirty vehicle and the last patient you had on board had vomited, urinated or spilt blood on the floor</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>You need a uniform change because you have got blood, vomit, or some fluid that you cant recognise on your uniform</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>The patient was infectious or infestated with various insects or small animals</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>You have run out of drugs, blankets, oxygen or any important piece of equipment</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>You have spongy brakes, faulty trolley bed, no equipment, faulty seatbelts, defective heater, no lights, squashed flies on windshield, loose seat, slow puncture, forgot to pick up your map book, coat or glasses from station or you need the toilet badly.</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>TO ANYONE IN CONTROL ROOM READING THIS............ ONLY JOKING</I></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <I> <TABLE BORDER="2" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="120" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" BGCOLOR=#FFFF00 > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 16 ><NOBR><div> <B>Paramedic Test</B></div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> </TABLE></I></div> <bR> <div> <I>How observant a paramedic are you ?</I></div> <div> <I>You are called to the scene of this emergency</I></div> <div> <I>What would you do if called to this scene?</I></div> <div> <I>Assume you were sent to this address as an emergency call and found the room</I></div> <div> <I>in this condition. Take your time, you will see and hear clues if you look.</I></div> <div> <I>Look carefully for the clues, some clues are audio so you need to turn your sound up</I></div> <div> <I>"LOOK and LISTEN"  very very carefully</I></div> <div> <I>Click on the link below to take the test</I></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="http://www.rumdesign.com/wrong/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.rumdesign.com/wrong/"><U><I>Take Paramedic Test</I></U></A></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id26.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Humour 2"><U><B><IMG SRC="4aa50230.gif" border=0 width="80" height="35" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></U></A><B>                                       <IMG SRC="76d23230.gif" border=0 width="35" height="35" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">                                       </B><A HREF="id64.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Humour 4"><U><B><IMG SRC="4ab50230.gif" border=0 width="80" height="35" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></U></A><B>   </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>                                   </B></div> </tD> </tR> </TABLE></B></div> <div> <B>                                        </B></div> </td> </tr></table></body>