Why Ambulance Vehicles Are So Popular.......
|
Battery, oil, water, fuel and tyres do not need checking nearly as often.
They need cleaning less often, especially inside.
They can be driven for long distances with the oil warning light on.
Unusual and alarming engine noises can be eliminated by adjusting the radio volume.
No security is needed. The vehicle can be safely left unattended, unlocked with the keys in the ignition.
Reverse gear can be engaged while the vehicle is moving forward.
They can take bumps at twice the speed of normal vehicles.
Heavily reinforced tyre walls allow any gutter to be negotiated at any speed or angle.
The suspension is upgraded to allow for the carriage of building material, horse feed, computer desks and occasionally patients.
|
Revised Medical Terminology
|
Alimentary
|
What Holmes said to Watson
|
Anti-Body
|
Against everyone
|
Artery
|
The study of painting
|
Atonic
|
Goes with your gin
|
Bacteria
|
Back door of a cafe
|
Barium
|
What they do to doctors mistakes
|
Benign
|
What an eight-year-old wants to be
|
Bowel
|
A letter like A,E,I,O,U
|
Buccal
|
Does up your belt
|
Caesarean section
|
A district in Rome
|
Cardiology
|
Advanced study of poker playing
|
Carpal
|
Someone you drive to work with
|
Castrate
|
Market price for setting a fracture
|
Cat scan
|
Searching for a kitten
|
Cauterise
|
Made eye contact with her
|
Circle of Willis
|
A strange induction ceremony for all new recruits to undergo
|
Colic
|
Sheepdog
|
Coma
|
Punctuation mark
|
Congenital
|
Friendly
|
C.P.R.
|
Cracking Patient's Ribs
|
Cystogram
|
A cable sent to your sister
|
Diarrhea
|
Journal of daily events
|
Dilate
|
To live long
|
D&C
|
Where Washington is
|
Eclampsia
|
Nasty traffic warden
|
Elixir
|
What a friendly dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone
|
Enema
|
Not a friend
|
ER
|
The things on your head that you hear with
|
Faeces
|
Scottish pronunciation of FACES
|
Fester
|
Quicker than someone else
|
Fibula
|
A small lie
|
Ganglia
|
A very tall thin person
|
Genes
|
Blue denim slacks
|
Gravidity
|
Of a serious nature
|
Grippe
|
To complain
|
Heimlich Maneuver
|
Military plan by the Germans to place their towels on the poolside chairs earlier than anybody else.
|
ICU
|
Peek-a-boo
|
Intern
|
One after another
|
Impotent
|
Of high standing
|
Islet of Langerhans
|
A small fishing community off the Irish coast.
|
Keratin
|
An idiot
|
Labour pain
|
Getting hurt at work
|
Medical staff
|
Doctors walking stick
|
Minor Operation
|
Coal Digging
|
Morbid
|
Make a higher offer
|
Navel
|
Pertaining to the sea faring armed forces.
|
Nitrate
|
Cheaper than the day rate
|
Node
|
Was aware of
|
Orifice
|
Where the clerical staff work
|
Organic
|
Musical
|
Outpatient
|
A person who has fainted
|
Papsmear
|
Fatherhood test
|
Paradox
|
A couple of quacks
|
Paralyse
|
Two far-fetched stories
|
Pelvis
|
Cousin of Elvis
|
Phlebitis
|
Flea bites
|
Pons
|
Someone who is always sponging.
|
Post operative
|
Mailman
|
Protein
|
In favour of young people
|
Quadriplegia
|
A great film about Mods and Rockers.
|
Recovery room
|
Place to do upholstery
|
Rectum
|
Damn near killed them
|
Rheumatic
|
Thinking about love
|
Saline
|
Where you go on your boat
|
Secretion
|
Hiding something
|
Seizure
|
Emperor of Rome
|
Subarachnoid Space
|
Where aquatic underwater spiders live
|
Tablet
|
Small table
|
Terminal illness
|
Getting sick at the airport
|
Tibia
|
Country in North Africa
|
Tumour
|
An extra pair
|
Urine
|
Opposite of ‘You’re out’
|
Urethra
|
Franklin, a great female vocalist
|
Varicose veins
|
Veins not far apart
|
Vein
|
Conceited
|
Wheeze
|
Posh term for having a laugh
|
Y-Chromosome
|
When you can chrome it all!
|
A well developed adolescent female was being examined by the paramedic for cold symptoms. The paramedic who was standing behind the patient, leaned over her shoulder with a stethoscope to his ears and said, "big breaths".
The young girl, hesitated for a second, then replied, "I know, and I'm only 12 !
Paramedic: "It's no good. I can't find anything wrong with you. It must just be the effects of drinking."
Patient: "Come back when you're sober then!"
Patient to the Paramedic:
"It hurts when I press here" (pressing his side)
"And when I press here" (pressing the other side)
"And here" (his leg)
"And here, here and here" (his other leg, and both arms)
The Paramedic examined him all over and finally discovered what was wrong... "You've got a broken finger!"
From 30 Minutes to 2 Hours
Tell control that..................
You have a dirty vehicle and the last patient you had on board had vomited, urinated or spilt blood on the floor
You need a uniform change because you have got blood, vomit, or some fluid that you cant recognise on your uniform
The patient was infectious or infestated with various insects or small animals
You have run out of drugs, blankets, oxygen or any important piece of equipment
You have spongy brakes, faulty trolley bed, no equipment, faulty seatbelts, defective heater, no lights, squashed flies on windshield, loose seat, slow puncture, forgot to pick up your map book, coat or glasses from station or you need the toilet badly.
TO ANYONE IN CONTROL ROOM READING THIS............ ONLY JOKING
How observant a paramedic are you ?
You are called to the scene of this emergency
What would you do if called to this scene?
Assume you were sent to this address as an emergency call and found the room
in this condition. Take your time, you will see and hear clues if you look.
Look carefully for the clues, some clues are audio so you need to turn your sound up
"LOOK and LISTEN" very very carefully
Click on the link below to take the test
   |