The Duck's Report

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Last Lemon Jelly DJ! - 22nd June

(Last report of the season)

Jellllllllyyyyyyy!

Good evening. The Duck Report tonight is sponsored by the Jelly Cubes, courtesy of Denise Rosborough and Exodus. Yes. Now, Sir Graeme Reid of Deejayland, welcomed the guests of the Exodus building with a marvellous collection of his favourite songs. And I must say, they were rather nice. After the music stuff, my team, the Jelly Cubes, took to the stage and gave us a 20 minute preview of Cindy's Surprise, the pantomime we are touring pretty soon. The preview included a section from the pantomime and one of the songs. It was pretty good. Even though I'm a team member, I hadn't seen much of the pantomime itself as I'm a musician.

Do me a lemon

These boys, ye can't do without them for very long. I was so glad they were back. Their music was absolutely incredible. It was their best gig in the history of their gigs that I've been to. The place was packed with people. I got some pictures of those present, inside and outside the building. How fitting that their new album is called These Four Walls! Excellent. I've heard good reports from Helena Hamilton. She likes track four in particular. You heard it here first, ladies and jellycubes!

Evening all

Then it was back to the King of all DJs (sorry Trevor). I was majorly impressed with the songs he played. He even played Hate To Say I Told You So! I can't remember the name of the band, but that song is so cool anyway. And that, as they say, is a wrap for this season's Duck Reports. It's sad to see me go, but I will be back for the results parties in August. Keep it real, ye hear me?

And finally.....

Katie Russell "I love Exodus, all you guys are the best. How can Hannah be so horrible to Cindy though? Where's Jude?"

Ducky "David Hoy spilt my Coke over me!"

Ryan Wilson "What an honour and privilege to write in the hallowed book. Lemon 12 are very good and so are you Laura!"

Ducky "A question for the masses: Will Laura ever take the Oasis neckleace off? Answers on a postcard."

Katie Russell "Answer: Only when the moon turns blue and I start talking Klingon." [Hehehehehehehehehehehehehe]

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Catch ye's on the Flipside! - 15th June

Totally fantastic

These guys, they are incredible. I couldn't even think of anything to write about them. Their music rocks, and Millie's voice is amazing. I..... I..... think they're fantastic. Woo! Trevor, please bring them back again! Oh yeah, and Trevor announced my birthday and played Alive by P.O.D.! Yay! I am now 20, an old Duck.

And finally.....

Ducky "Trevor please play Alive by P.O.D.?"

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A 19+ Jazzy Toad! - 8th June

The Amazing Toadie

A few months ago, Toadie was to play in Exodus. He couldn't, because he was unwell. But tonight he was back on form and played for us, his lovely fans. I'd never heard him play before and I thought his set was excellent. I have nothing more to say, he left me speechless. :)

Lucy has a Jazz band!

Next was Lucy and her jazz band. I don't think there has ever been a jazz band in Exodus, and one of their most memorable songs of the night, in my opinion, was Eva Cassidy's Wade In The Water. They played other songs as well as this one, and I personally would love them to come back again! Play more jazz!

And finally.....

Jeff the Duck " " [he's a stuffed duck, of COURSE he doesn't say anything..... pphhh.....]

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Jelly Cubes Punk Theme Nite! - Monday 3rd June

Ease in slowly.....

DJ Rachel Williams got us into the party mood by playing us some lovely tunes on the decks. It took her a while to get into the punk style, as she played nice chilled out stuff first. I believe she wanted to bring in the punk slowly. Good idea. Pretty soon we were hit by the likes of P.O.D., which was truly excellent. Next it was Creche's first outing. An excellent slot in my opinion. They covered loads of songs, like Teenage Kicks, Summer Of '69, My Generation, Stand By Me, and my personal favourite, Hitchin' A Ride by Green Day. Fantastic!

Fancy jelly punk

And so it came to the fancy dress competition. I thought I should have won, but I couldn't win because I was a worker person and that wouldn't have been considered fair. Nah, I'm only jokin, those who were nominated truly deserved their nominations. Their outfits were incredible! The eventual winner was Colin Hayes. He won a smashing tub of Pringles and the other nominees got a lovely free drink from the bar. Yay! Orange Fanta for me please! But hey yeah, I was serving at the bar so I was able to get meself a drink. Woohoo! Aww but, man was that punk slot great. I bounced around like a mad eejit and probably made an almighty show of meself, but I didn't care. I was having a great time! The music was brilliant, the people were brilliant, it was just absolutely brilliant. I left the building feeling very drained. It was the most fun I'd had in a long time!

And finally.....

Julie M "Really good - thought my outfit fitted in really well! Very original and cool idea for a fundraiser."

Katie Russell "So is Tigger not into punk then? Where are all the Mohican hair-do's?"

James Hamilton "Hello, and, well, goodbye!"

Laura Hunter Tonight was fab! Had a class time! Creche rock! P.S. Try not to get Saturday Night and The Macarena mixed up!"

Karlene Monahan "Outstanding!"

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Jiving all over the world! - 1st June

Purty guitars

The night was started by a new band called Jivan. Two members of the band played a beautifully mellow acoustic set. I stared at the marvellous acoustic bass that was being played! And I noticed an Epiphone sitting on a stand! Marvellous, absolutely marvellous. After the acoustic set, Delirious music videos were played on the screen, which was fabulous cos I love Delirious.

Promotions and medleys

Next were the Jelly Cubes! They were promoting their fundraiser night, which is Monday 3rd June, and it is a punk theme night. Excellent! Plus, the Romania team reminded us about their movie night in the Portrush cinema on 4th June, to see ET. Prizes available! Anyway, King Trevor of DJ-Land returned to his rightful throne, the decks. He treated us to his usual masterpieces, before Jivan took to the stage for the second and final time tonight. This time, they introduced to us the Epiphone noises. Yes, it was the true heavy guitarness that causes the likes of Matthew Lynch to thrust themselves against each other for the sheer pleasure of mindless, rudimentary violence. In a purely loving way of course. Jivan kept the audience rolling like a giant rolling stone, yeah!

And finally.....

Keith McCaughern "Being my first time here, I thought it was pretty cool. Lots of nice girls!"

Wesley Julier "Tonight was very, very, very good. My quote is, life is like a rocking chair, it will give you something to think about, but it won't get you anywhere."

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Five Dollar Duck! - 25th May

The Monkey that is Jude Barkely reports tonight on behalf of The Duck that is Laura Knowles!

The Duck's Set List

I'm Like A Duck - Laura sang "I'm like a duck, I'll only fly away" after she introduced her mascot Jeff the Duck. All I can say is 'strange'!

Don't Go Away - Really well sung, was really good!

Sunday Morning Call - This was dedicated to her friend Crystal. I love this song! The Duck's voice really goes with this song.

I'm Like A Bird - Truly one of the greats but I thought she was like a duck, not a bird!

The Air I Breathe - One of her own works, beautiful (can I cry), I love it! When can I buy it? This was for the Jelly Cubes team.

Call From The Heart - Another original, I'll say that guy Jonny is lucky she wrote a song for him!

Always - This Duck can write and sing! Fantabulous song!

Undefeated Courage - *giggles* Her latest piece of genius! So beautiful, yet another I want to buy!

Smelly Cat - HA HA HA the madness! It was dedicated to Adam Gage but I thought it was slightly cruel. He can't smell that bad can he?

Half The World Away - Coolies, nice. I've never heard it before. It was dedicated to Gillian Hamilton, who wasn't in the audience.

And now back to The Duck!

Let's bounce!

After my set, there was some music courtesy of Nikki and Jonny Hyndman. Then we had a man from Sierra Leone tell us about his life. Very interesting man, I hope he comes back. Nikki had the task of interviewing Five Dollar Soul. This was quite a challenge, four men and Nikki. But she handled it with dignity, for no man can outwit Nikki Moore! Pretty soon after that, the guys took to the stage and rocked the place with their bouncing beats. I love those guys, they're so loud and jumpy! Apparently they have a single coming out soon. I wonder where I can buy it.....

Crime of the century

In case it wasn't made clear, I have a mascot teddy bear called Jeff the Duck. He is a yellow fluffy duck. He sat on my mic stand while I played and went around the building with me, talking to folk. Now, I was upstairs talking to some of my Jelly Cube pals. Sharon McKibbin stole Jeff and threw him downstairs from the balcony. I darted off after him. He landed at the feet of two boys. They picked him up and told me they were going to report me to the USPCA for cruelty to ducks. They proceeded in having a tug of war with him, one boy holding his behind, and the other holding his head. I thought they were going to rip his neck! Honestly, the rudeness of some people. I'm never letting Jeff out of my sight ever again.

And finally.....

Jeff the Duck "I'm like a duck, I'll only swim away"

Anonymous "I fancy Jeff!"

The Monkey "Did ye like me report? There's so many people here, so few known to me! A great set, that Duck is fantastic, so's Ducky! Yay Jeff rules! Laura, when is your next gig? Jeff wasn't thrown, he was trying to fly!"

Paul Scales "Life is like a path. Never look at what has gone, only what is ahead!"

Katie Russell "My friend Laura's the best guitar player about, Noel Gallagher take a bow"

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On Tour in Exodus! - 18th May

Pretty folk believe in the party

DJ Nikki got the party started tonight with her favourite tunes, including the likes of Pink and Destiny's Child. Next we had some karaoke. I had to fight to get my name down! Well, not really, but I did scare the girl who had the misfortune of putting my name down, hehe. Anyway, first up was a group of girls to sing S Club Party. They were adamant that they weren't going to sing that song, so Michaela and Nikki took over for them. Then Hannah and Lori sang Daydream Believer and I thought it ruled! They were really good at it. My name was called out next and I was hoping they'd give me a good song to sing. It was Pretty Woman! Arg! Nikki sang along with me and we made it really funny. A few other people got up to sing as well, and it was an excellent session altogether.

Bring on the band!

And so it came to the band. The England On Tour band. They started the whole session off with Burn Baby Burn by Ash. Twas rather excellent. David Hamilton's voice is really low and he was fantastic the whole night. They played various praise songs throughout their set and the last song they played was Where The Streets Have No Name by U2. It brought tears to my eyes. And that's all I have to say about that.

And finally.....

Ducky "I refused to let anyone comment on tonight because I think I sum up everyone's views by saying that the band was fantabulous and I wish them all the best in the summer!"

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Mystery Playground! - 11th May

Black night..... it's alright!

First up tonight was a new local band called The Mystery Men. They are a three-piece outfit consisting of Danny from Creche, Niall from Creche and Lemon 12, and a guy with an impressive mop of hair. I never did find out his name. It was a welcome change to Exodus, their music consisted of nothing but searing guitar riffs, extremely groovy! The tunes I recognised were Black Night and Smoke On The Water by Deep Purple, and I got a vibe of Metallica as well. I don't like Metallic. But otherwise, I was very impressed by this trio!

Where's my passionate puse?

Next up was our Lost Property Models, Brooke and Paul. Over the last..... ooohhh, lengthy period of time, lost items of clothing have gathered up in the building. Paul and Brooke were doing us the honour and privilege of modelling these items in the hope that someone would recognise something and shout out "oi, get that off ye, that's mine", or something alone those lines. Also, the Ugandan team put on a short drama sketch for us. Those involved included Ryan Wilson and Gillian Hamilton. Ryan played a granny, and Gillian was a disgruntled director. It was an excellent show, and one of the funniest bits was the different styles in which Ryan's character told us she was knitting a passionate puse tea cosy.....

Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeccccccccccchhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeee

At long last, Creche took to the stage. They played their regular bouncy songs, including Summer Of 69 by Bryan Adams. I hadn't heard this in a while from them, so I was pleased. This was Creche's second outing with new guitarist Niall Kennedy, and I must say, he's settling in very well. But I think he's getting a bit greedy when it comes to bands. He's in Lemon 12, Creche, Jackie Moon, The Mystery Men..... I mean, come on. I can't even get one band. Ach, Niall man, you carry on with yer music, be in as many bands as you can, get yer name recognised. Maybe I'm just meant to be solo. That's fine with me! (Yes, I am supporting Five Dollar Soul on 25th May.)

And finally.....

Paul Scales "Self-confidence is just self-expression. Oh what the heck, just be yourself!"

Katie Russell "Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy....." [You been touching the sugar again?]

Alan McCracken "Creche ROCK!"

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Mr and Mrs Dawson's Brooke! - 27th April

There goes Brooke.....

Tonight was quite exciting, because it was the first time that Exodus was able to hear the talent that is Brooke, one of the lovely Americans. Her set included There She Goes (originally by The La's and recently covered by Sixpence None The Richer), Thank You by Dido, and Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life) by Green Day. Other songs she played were praise songs, all of which were excellent.

Cheese

Next up was DJ Cheddar and The Cheesy Slot. Our Mr DJ man took control of the decks and tortured us - er, I mean entertained us - with some tunes. I was pleased with some of the choices very much. For example, Bohemian Like You was the first song to be played, and it was put on by Trevor. Other tunes were Brown Eyed Girl, Elevation, and the like. Matthew Lynch and myself had a wee dance on yonder dance floor and had a whale of a time. I found it quite amusing!

Battle of the couples

Then it was time for the married couples of Exodus to engage in a verocious war of wits, in Trev's Mr and Mrs. The couples were Mr and Mrs Lynas, Mr and Mrs Brown, and Mr and Mrs Ross. First of all, the men went upstairs with Trevor's lovely assistant Nikki, so they couldn't hear what questions the women were being asked. The task was to see whcih couple knew the most about each other. It was quite exciting, there was even a picture up on the screen to see if the ladies could recognise their husband's feet! Some of the questions were quite funny, and in the end, the Ross's won. Yay for Johnny and Catriona!

And finally.....

There are no comments this week, because I had an accident with my pen. I lost it. I tried to hit Matthew Lynch on the head with my notebook, and my pen went flying across the stage. It has happened before.....

Jamie and Dave's 19+ nite! - 13th April

Sparkly candle..... swingin

First up at the 19+ night was Dave Mitchell, the Lone Candle. He played his lovely sparkly guitar, which captured my curiosity. The songs he played were extremely cool and very mellow. Nice. :) After his slot, the mellow mood flowed on with some marvellous swing music given to us by DJ Hyndman. I like swing music.

Statistics and The Scottish Connection

Next was Paul from Hungary. He talked about how young people from our generation can change the statistics of the next generation. He said that 95% of Christians have never led another person to Christ, and other such statistics. Very soon after this, a young Jamie Stewart from Scotland entertained us with his acoustic set. I sat opposite him and watched in awe. His voice is very like that of REM's Michael Stipe, plus a wee bit of Coldplay's Chris Martin. I considered his singing perfect to sit back and chill out to. Aaaaahhhh.

And finally.....

Jamie Stewart "It's a lovely place, it's very lively and the Jenga was very loud"

Gordon McIlroy "The music was good, I love over 19 nights but I think there could be more publicity"

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The Lively Underground! - 6th April

Entertaining the masses

I was on my team weekend and I didn't have my notebook with me tonight. So what I write here, is what I have in my memory. Tonight was Metro. Their music was rather cool. One of the many songs they played was Robbie Williams' Let Me Entertain You, with which I sang along to. An exciting thing that happened was, after approximately four weeks of pestering Trevor, he played Bohemian Like You by the Dandy Warhols, specially for me. I was well chuffed!

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Exodus Presents The Oscars! - Wednesday 3rd April

The show must go on

Tonight was a fundraiser for the Romania/Moldova all-girls team. It took a while to get started, I for one was rather impatient, but the evening was eased in by swing music, à la Robbie Williams. Also, the lovely dancing girls did a wee dance for us. Finally, it was time to begin. Our hosts for the evening were Andrew Lynas and Neil Young. I believe they are better than Ant and Dec and would so totally win in Celebrity Death Match. I do believe. Every so often they would run away, and a few minutes later they would be wearing completely different outfits (black suits, white sports clothes, dressing gowns). Now for the categories, presenters, nominations, and winners.

Best Looking Male - Denise Rosborough

Neil Craig <=== WINNER!

Niall Kennedy

Alan McCracken

Ryan Wilson

Best Looking Female - Niall Kennedy and Danny Brown

Michaela Dunlop

Nikki Moore

Denise Rosborough

Emma Warnock <=== WINNER!


Cutest Person - Amy Johnston

Philip Dunlop

James Hamilton <=== WINNER!

Wikki O'Neill

Lori Platt

Little Miss Chatterbox - David Hamilton

Hannah Bonham

Alison Creswell <=== WINNER!

Vikki O'Neill

Andrea Wright

Best Comedian - Claire Adams

Andy Crymbol

Timmy Grainger

Trevor Loughridge <=== WINNER!

Andy McConville

Best Male Hair - Louise Cochrane

David Hamilton <=== WINNER!

James Hamilton

Niall Kennedy

Jonny Ross

Best Female Hair - Tim Higgins

Brooke

Nikki Moore

Andrea Wright <=== WINNER!

Joanne Wright

Best Local Band - Keith Law

Creche

Lemon 12 <=== WINNER!

16 Seats No Standing

Portstewart Presbyterian Praise Group

Biggest Bully - Trevor Loughridge

Rebecca Dunlop

Johnny Hyndman <=== WINNER!

Trevor Loughridge

Andy McConville

Scariest Bouncer - Andrew Williamson

Jim Brown

Keith Law <=== WINNER!

David McClelland

Jonny Ross

Drama King/Queen - Lisa Stewart

Hannah Bonham

Emma Parkhill

Paul Scales <=== WINNER!

Andy McConville

Cutest Couple - Neil Young and Andrew Lynas

Vikki and Daniel

Jim and Eva

Jonny and Catriona <=== WINNER!

Trevor and Emma

Hairiest Person - Andrea Wright

Matthew Cordner <=== WINNER!

Trevor Loughridge

Jonny Ross <=== WINNER!

Alistair Topping

Best Dressed Person - Niall Kennedy and Danny Brown

David Hamilton <=== WINNER!

James Hamilton

Jonny Holly

Emma Warnock <=== WINNER!

Person Most Likely To Be Prime Minister - Norman Lynas

Neil Craig

Colin Hayes

Johnny Hyndman <=== WINNER!

Ryan Wilson

Most Sarcastic Person - Johnny Hyndman

Claire Adams <=== WINNER!

Neil Craig

Andy Crymbol

Andy McConville

Best Legs - Linda Lynas

Jim Brown

Andy Crymbol

Timmy Grainger <=== WINNER!

Philip Williamson

Best DJ - Ray

Trevor Loughridge

Andy McConville

Scalesy and Gwyneth <=== WINNER!

Best Host - Rebecca Dunlop

Elaine Harrison <=== WINNER!

Ruth Johnston

Julie-Anne Lee

Denise Rosborough <=== WINNER!

Best Volunteer - Gwyneth

Christy Cordner

Neil Craig

David Hall <=== WINNER!

Paul Sampson

Most Nominated Person - Claire Adams

Neil Craig <=== WINNER!

Andy Crymbol

James Hamilton

Andy McConville

Lifetime Achievement - Trevor Loughridge

Norman and Linda Lynas <=== WINNER!

Singing, scandals, and strings

To end the Oscars, Andrew and Neil did their own version of Frank Sinatra's My Way, and it was absolutely fantastic! I really enjoyed their presentations of everything, including a game called Andrew's Impressions, where he had to do an impression of a film star. I noticed that two awards were missing. Scariest Person and Biggest Ego. The reason for this is because the winners weren't there to receive the awards. I found out that the winner of Biggest Ego, was no other than Andy Crymbol. Next up was Creche, playing songs like Take On Me and Summer Of 69. This was the first time I've seen them play since Niall Kennedy joined as a guitarist.

And finally.....

James Hamilton "I feel weird"

Neil Young "It was an honour to be a host and I can't wait till next year's awards. P.S. I want best looking male!"

David Hamilton "I feel loved. My dream of being a black man from the 70s is now

nearly realised!!!"

David Hall "I feel brilliant, it's a real honour"

Neil Craig There must be some very deluded people out there"

And that is all from Laura Knowles, a.k.a. Ducky, reporting for the Exodus website.

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Happy 5th Birthday Exodus! - 30th March

So much 70s cheese

Man, 70s pop music sucks. I hate to say it, ladies and gentlemen, but I am not a big fan of 70s pop. A girl has gotta have something to mindlessly bounce to. What happened to the likes of The Eagles? Status Quo? Fleetwood Mac? Dire Straits? Rod Stewart? Queen? Nooooo, Trevor took over the sounds and poisoned us with silly music. Grr. But, I forgive him cos he played Abba. I like Abba.

How many Mini Eggs was that?

Sir Norman of Lynas (Mr. Norman Lynas) was kind enough to talk to us lot about Exodus. We were, after all, celebrating it's 5th birthday. He told us of how one person can make a difference. It's a whole big chain reaction. One person tells one person about Jesus, next thing, hundreds of people are coming to Jesus. Marvellous, marvellous! A Mr McClure cut the cake for us and everyone grabbed a piece, except for me. I'm saving my belly for them Mini Eggs! That's right! During the Cola Cubes slot, I scoffed loads and loads of Cadbury's Mini Eggs. I just had to have them. I wasn't paying much attention to Mustang Sally, but I heard that folk enjoyed it. I was too busy eating the Mini Eggs.

SOS! I'm stuck in the carwash!

Much of the boogie-type moves were made during the Cola Cubes tune time. I was happy when they played some Abba. Yay for Lay All Your Love On Me and Waterloo, says I. They ended with New York, New York, which I was impressed with. Next was that darned 70s disco stuff. Come on now, Carwash?!?! That's Trevor hitting an all-time low there..... I really really do not like 70s disco. I apologise to all the 70s disco frea..... I mean, enthusiasts. I mean no harm to you. :)

And finally.....

Katie Russell "Staying Alive - yay!"

Ducky "Oi Paul! Get back here with my book! Ye can't steal the Duck's report book!!!!!"

Elaine Harrison "To steal/borrow and American phrase, Exodus is awesome. Love what God does here with young people's lives."

Anonymous "This night was class"

Andy Crymbol "Exodus rocks! Jesus rocks!"

And that is all from Laura Knowles, a.k.a. Ducky, reporting for the Exodus website.

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Black and White Night! - Monday 25th March

Gordon Bennett! Or not.....

First up on this glorious night of two colours, was Graham Bennett and his two buddies. They played us some marvellous tunes along the lines of A Little Respect, Just Looking and Side. I am a big fan of Stereophonics and Travis, so the latter two pleased me muchly! After their first set, DJs Richard and Steven took to the decks. As the whole night was organised by the Romanian team, Trevor and McConville were nowhere to be seen.

Spikes win prizes!

Next was the contest! It was extremely exciting. Up for grabs were some lovely Easter Eggs. The categories were Best Male Hair, Best Female Hair, and Best Costume. Alison Elliott one Best Female Hair, some guy won the male version (me bad for not remembering who), and..... *drum roll* I WON THE BEST COSTUME!!!!! Man, it was so cool! I was wearing black and white. My tshirt was split in the middle, black on my left, white on my right. My trousers were the same, only white on the left and black on the right. And my hair was caked with coloured gel. It was mostly bright red, but with the odd tinge of purple. Also I had black and white lipstick, provided by Katie Russell. I was the best! The BEST! Sorry, I'll shut up now.....

Sweet Home Exodus

The band were one again for a wee stint, including All The Small Things, Dancing In The Moonlight, Sweet Home Alabama and Summer Of '69. So cool, says I. Plus, the DJ guys had a slightly quieter session on the decks, probably cos the folk had sore heads or ears or something. When the last song was played, everyone had to dance their socks off as it was time for the Dancing King and Queen contest! The winners were Nikki Moore and Paul Scales. I don't see why Paul won, cos he wasn't even wearing the right clothes! He turns up to a black and white theme night, wearing red, green and blue. Silly boy.

And finally.....

Jessica "Everyone looked as if they were going to a funeral (all black) or a wedding! It was a chilled night with a band and some (amateur) DJing!

Anonymous "Emma Parkhill is the most specialist girl I know, and I love her!"

Ducky "Thank you, thank you, I have fans across the universe, yes!" [said in head on receiving the Best Costume Award]

And that is all from Laura Knowles, a.k.a. Ducky, reporting for the Exodus website.

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Acoustic Messengers! - 23rd March

Thar be cheese in that window!

The marvellous boyo that is Acoustic Matt took to the stage and played his very cool acoustic guitar. I was sooooo happy when he played Flowers In The Window by Travis, cos it's my favourite Travis tune. While he was playing, I was thinking "Them strings are a bit straggly..... they could poke a boady's eye oot!" Hehe. Anyway, next was DJ Cheddar and The Cheesy Slot. It was really quite smelly, I believe. It was all that really really stinky stuff. Not my taste at all. I like nice cheese.

Oi Paul! Get back here with me book!

It was a chilled out night to begin with. Jonny Ross got wedged HAHAHA! Paul and Laura talked about being media spin doctors and taking over the BBC. And we will (well maybe). Paul, Laura and Trev are the coolest individual people ever. [honestly, I'm going to ban Paul Scales from writing in my book for like a MONTH]

A birthday, a choir, and a Trev

Jonny Hyndman got the embarrassment of his life when Trev announced his 21st birthday. And showed the whole building a PowerPoint presentation on the life of Jonny. Aww, the cute wee pictures! Anyway, the Messengers Choir from Uganda sang for us. It's really intriguing to hear singing from another culture. I enjoyed them muchly. Finally, it was Trevor's turn at the decks. I requested Bohemian Like You by The Dandy Warhols and he wouldn't play it. I was greatly disappointed.

And finally.....

Paul Scales "Matthew on the speaker as normal. I'm surprised that he has not busticated it. We did really like the Vengabus song better."

Ducky "What corner?" [on hearing the line "love is just around the corner" from S Club 7's Reach.]

Matthew Lynch "This is weird, but, hi"

Katie Russell "Oi, McConville - since when were S Club 7 cheesy?" [propositioning DJ Cheddar]

Lucy Evans "Acoustic Matt was very good"

Andy McConville "No" [when asked to make a comment]

And that is all from Laura Knowles, a.k.a. Ducky, reporting for the Exodus website.

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Sarah-Anne plus DJ Andy! - 16th March

Kiss me…..Hey….. Don’t run away!

First up tonight was Sarah-Anne and her band. Her set included the likes of Kiss Me by Sixpence None The Richer, Thank You by Dido, Eva Cassidy’s version of Over The Rainbow, and a couple of praise songs. Sarah-Anne’s band seemed quite nervous, I think maybe our lot scared them. Apparently it was their first time performing for us.

Formal, chicks, and a door that’s open

Next were a few announcements, and a sketch by the Open Door folks called The Things. After the sketch, the Open Door volunteers talked about the work they do there and how rewarding it is. If any of you want to find out more about it, ask for Julie McCullagh at Exodus the next time yer there. The announcements were about team fund-raising. The Ireland/Scotland pantomime team were selling knitted chicks with a surprise inside. They were so cute, I had to buy one. It would look really bad if I didn’t buy one, cos *cough* it’s my team. Also, nomination forms were going round for the Exodus Oscars. That should be a laugh and a half! It’s on 3rd April and you can not miss it for anything! Plus, there’s a formal that same week and it only costs a tenner. Get yerself a date, a posh outfit and yer landed! Go to Exodus this Saturday and find out more about it.

Bird zombie

Sarah-Anne embraced the stage for a second stint. I thought this set was much better than the last. All they needed was a chance to relax. Their songs included Ironic by Alanis Morissette, I’m Like A Bird by Nelly Furtado, and Zombie by the Cranberries. I was really quite impressed by them.

Where’d the nice looking guys come from?

Lastly, it was Andy McConville on the decks. The regular tunes were played, starting off with Bohemian Like You. Happy days, sham! Whilst on the dance floor, I had a look around me. All these nice looking guys. Where’d they come from? That’s what I wanna know! It’s not a usual thing at Exodus, ye see. No offence to any of the regular guys, it’s just that it’s nice to have a change. I like seeing new faces around. And I have an excuse to go talk to them and all! I’m a reporter! Hehe!

And finally…..

James Hamilton “Rock’n’roll”

Hannah Bonham “God rocks my world!”

Sharon McKibbin “I’m off on Monday!”

William Cameron “It was a good night”

Mark McCrory “Mark says hi to Lynsey”

And that is all from Laura Knowles, a.k.a. Ducky, reporting for the Exodus website.

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A Last-Minute Superhero! - 9th March 2002

The Duck is back on the case. This time, with a notebook and pen!

A million more little times

The night started off with Toadie….. in a David McGill costume. No wait, it was actually David McGill. He was filling in for Toadie cos he was sick. Poor Toadie. David (better known to me as DD) played his lovely mellow tunes to his heart’s content, and his set included A Million Times, A Little More and I’m A Liar I’m A Fraud, all written by himself, and We Don’t Need Religion by Brian Houston.

What a man-handling drama

Next were The Covenant Players, a totally amazing wee drama group. They were Laura-Lee, Paul and Lillianna. They performed three short plays for us, using nothing but a few chairs and our imaginations. The plays were entitled Name Of The Game – where heaven and hell switch places, Don’t Just Stand There – posing the question “does man have a purpose?” and One More Time – a fast moving conversation at a reunion. I thought their performances were incredible and I could watch them all day! After they were done, Trevor and Paul took to the decks and treated us to some tunes. I requested Bohemian Like You by the Dandy Warhols, and I got man-handled by the moose that is Matthew Lynch. He just doesn’t know when to stop, that boy.

There’s a blue sky up ahead…..

The eleventh hour came. Superhero took to the stage. I took to the speaker….. They played. They sang. They bounced around. These guys ROCK! They so ROCK! I was so glad to see them back in Exodus after hearing them a year ago. I was amazed then, and I was amazed again. I loved the insane guitarness of Breathe, and I was able to sing along to Don’t Run, Blue and LH2FLY. There was a bit of playful friction between Gordy the bassist guy and, aye you’ve guessed it, Matthew. Will that guy ever learn to behave himself? Apparently Matthew gave singer boy Tim nightmares the last time they played in Exodus….. Anyway, the crowd were a tad quiet, and they seemed to back off a bit after a while. WHY?!?!?! Superhero are amazing! Ah, I know what it was. They were in awe! They had to stand back for fear of being blinded by their talent! I took a few pictures, which will be available soon.

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Après la gig, I had the extreme honour of meeting the guys. I felt like a 5 year old. I didn’t know what to say. Whatever came out of my mouth made no sense at all. Matthew decided to tell them that I was for interviewing them. But I had no questions! I was totally unprepared! Like a fanatical fan, I got their autographs, in my wee notebook, yay! All I did really was just talk to them, and I told them how great they were and everything. I was told that lead guitar man Pete is the fabulous songwriter of the band, and that Richard is their new drummer type person. I had a nice wee chat with all of them, I only wish I’d made more sense at the time. I must have seemed like an idiot….. But while folks were filtering out at Trev’s request, I talked to Gordy about bass guitars.

And finally…..

Katie Russell “The whole world is insane apart from me, hahaha!” – [that’s what you think…..]

DD McGill “It’s good to be back”

Paul Scales “Trev and Paul are class!” – [never one to blow his own trumpet :p]

Gordy B “Crowd rocked as usual, we always look forward to coming here.”

Tim C “They were unusually subdued” – [about the crowd]

Laura a.k.a. Ducky “Quack” – [alright, I didn’t actually say it to anyone…..]

And that is all from Laura Knowles, a.k.a. Ducky, reporting for the Exodus website.

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Jackie Moon ‘n’ Scalesy! - 2nd March 2002

Have a very happy night

It was a regular night at Exodus. People chatting, drinks being purchased at the bar, Matthew Lynch dancing by himself on the dance floor….. They were all there for the one reason. Jackie Moon! The five-piece punk outfit consisted of Andy McConville (vocals), Danny Brown (guitar and backing vocals), Niall Kennedy (guitar), Tim Higgins (bass and backing vocals), and Niall Dunlop (drums). Their first set included Brown Eyed Girl, Yellow (“Our song, our song!” yell the 2001 Ireland Roadshow team) and I Will Survive. I must say that Andy’s searing vocals on Gloria Gaynor’s classic was quite impressive.

Starsailor Soapbox

Next were The Throw-Togethers, aptly named by Trev, featuring Niall Dunlop on drums, his dad Dave on bass, and David Logan on guitar and vocals. They played one of David’s favourite Starsailor songs, one that I thought was fantastic. I’d never heard the song in my life before, but David’s voice certainly inspired me to investigate more into Starsailor. Later, Soapbox was taken by Sheila Montgomery. She’s a trained counsellor and spoke to us about suicide and self-harm. She put forward various interesting points, including one that stated “suicide is the second highest cause of death in young males”.

Run away and hide - there is no escape!

Half way through the night, it was time for DJ Scalesy’s 80’s Selection. He played songs by old groups such as Wham!, A-ha, and even the ones who are still around, like Kylie Minogue. By the end of the set, I was running through the many enthusiastic people on the dance floor, trying to escape. I’m sorry Paul, but I had to get away from Love In The First Degree…..

We want you back, want you back…..

At about 11pm, it was time for Jackie Moon’s second and final stint on the stage. After five songs, guitarist Niall broke a string, had to leave the other four to restring, but came back on stage in time for Just Looking by the fabulous Stereophonics. This set included a tribute to Trev, Happy Birthday to an 18 year old Keith, Mama Mia, Baby One More Time, Buck Rodgers, and an old Take That hit Back For Good. The crowd enjoyed them enough to beg them to do an encore. Andy declared that they didn’t have an encore song, so they played Mama Mia, as well as Uptown Girl, both of which had already been played. Then, sadly, it was time to go home.

And finally…..

Niall Kennedy: “Paul Scales is the best 80’s mix DJ in the whoopin’ world. Keep him in Exodus forever.”

David Logan: "Inextricably stimulating"

Matthew Lynch: "I don't trust reporters"

And that is all from Laura Knowles, a.k.a. Ducky, reporting for the Exodus website.

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