Fan Mail...

I recieve many letters from my Dedicated Fans out there, and of course I always like to answer them personally. Some of them really make me wonder though... Presented here is a small selection from my mailbox for your amusement and education. 
    From: kwouk37@xxxxxx

    HELO I LIKE YOU WEB FUNNY. LOOK GOOD TOO I
    THINK
    YOU WANT TO WRITE TO ME. I AM NAME AMY AND
    CATHOLIC. LIKING HOUSE WORK AND MAKE HOUSE
    AND COOKING. YOU RICH MAN? WRITE QUICK OK.
    LIKING SCOTLAND I THINK TOO.
Ah, how sweet! - you're all invited to the wedding!
    From: WarBird@xxxxxx

    COOL SIDE!!! I WILL LINK TO YOU WHEN MY IS FINISHED! I WILL
    HAVE SOME NEAT CRACKZ AND WAREZ FOR AMIGAO ON THERE GOT ANY
    GOOD SWAPZ??? I WILL LET YOU KNOW SO YOU CAN BOOKMARK IT
    WILL BE THE BEST!! LONG LIVE AMIGA!! PS HOW DID YOU GET
    YOUR SITE?

    \\ _ //
     \/\// ARBIRD.
This gentleman obviously has a fondness for ASCII art too... I believe he has an executive position with Microsoft now.
    From: Jhsman@xxxxxx

    your sight sucks.
Yes, but I'm seeing an optometrist about it...
    From: suttonf@xxxxxx

    My friend said you're homepage was good but i don't know what you
    find amusing about shooting defenseless animals. People like you
    make me sick you should be shot your're self then you would know
    what it feels like. I am going to complain and get aol to shut
    this page down. You should be ashamed except your too stupid.

    Frances.
Er... let's just check that we're looking at the same site, shall we..
(I've snipped 117 blank lines from the end of this one - yes, I counted them).
    From: PROPHETJOHN@xxxxxx

    JESUS LOVES YOU!
Ooh.. Can I put that on my resumé? It'll wow them at job interviews.
    From: jfk@xxxxxx

    hello
Brevity being the soul of wit, and all that...
Surely not the JFK?
    From: SE_Evans@xxxxxx

    LOL! Your page ids the funniest thing Iv'e seen all week! Spew is
    completely outrageous. I got in trouble from the boss for
    spew-ing coffee all over my workstation! I am going to come back
    here many times!

    S. Evans
I'm sorry, but if you read the small print you'll see that we do not accept any responsibility. And if you start hanging around, I'll have Security take you away...
    From: storage@xxxxxx

    I love your site, especially Piglett and your adorable nephew Mark.
    We have alot in common. Keep up the good work!

    P.S. You're kind'a cute yourself! I also think you should put this
    e-mail on your site and knock off JFK once more.
Well seein' as y'all asked so graciously... It's mah pleasure, Ma'am.
    From: hog17@xxxxxx

    YOU MAKE THEM LETTERS UP RIGHT? BET YOU DON'T PRINT THIS
He's right you know...
If you've got something to say that makes more sense that this lot, why don't you Mail Me...

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