Well, you can call me morse for a start, or -AD- if you're in a hurry.

I made my first Million at the age of 11, when I invented and patented the component found in every personal stereo which is responsible for that familiar 'tsss - tsss - tsss' sound. I built on this success with the creation of a range of baseball caps with the peak attached in exciting new positions, but the accomplishment which gives me the most pride is the invention of the macadamia nut. I like to spend my time nowadays collecting Fabergé eggs and particularly picturesque tropical islands, though I find myself rather busy entertaining some of the more attractive Hollywood stars in my Top-Secret Underground Headquarters , and advising Bill Gates how to make the best use of his rather limited finances. I also donate absolutely unbelievable sums of money to various philanthropic causes, although I am rather modest, and don't really like to admit it.

Hold on a minute - You're not buying this are you? Oh, all right, here goes:

I live in Morecambe (Well, someone has to), at roughly [54.07N : 2.81W], if you should feel like targetting a missile on me. Morecambe is the butt of a lot of jokes, but I like living here. It's handy for the beach and the countryside. Not too far from The Lakes either.

I am also officially a Brussels Sprout. Which will be very good position to be in when the Cruciferous Vegetables take over the planet. Oops.. Forget I just said that..

I was of the male gender the last time I looked (just checked again - yep, I still am), and 31* years of age ( I'll have to change that bit soon - the age bit that is...) I don't have anything that you could describe as paid employment at the moment (subtle hint), so if you know of anything involving short hours and generous pay (not so subtle hint), GIVE ME THE JOB! (the direct approach).

You should get a pretty good idea of what makes me tick from this website, but if you really want to, you can see a picture of me

Send me a postcard -drop me a line - stating point of view?

*This information is no longer accurate. I am now 32.*

*This information is also no longer accurate. I am now 33.

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