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VEX - A feeling and a demand for change in the therapy industry worldwide.

Welcome to VEX, which could stand for Verbal and Emotional Xploitation - (of clients by therapists) but doesn't. VEX is the feeling that you end up with after being abused by a therapist in someway or the other. It is a feeling that makes you realise there is a need for serious change in an industry that claims to care so much about its clients, when the reality is that it cares very little. It is the feeling you get, when you realise that the problem with therapy, in all its many different forms, wherever in the world that it is practiced, is a self regulating - free for all. A client enters into therapy at considerable risk. VEX wants to change this. It wants to make all kinds of therapy better and safer for all concerned, and the best way of doing this is by the registration of therapists in the countries that they work in and regulation of therapy worldwide. If you agree with this idea, please contact us we want to hear from you wherever you are. VEX The Support, information and campaign group for survivors of therapeutic abuse worldwide C/O Ray Hurford - 96 Hoskins Close, London E.16 3RU

vex@lineone.net


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Please click on above and sign!
We the survivors of therapy abuse worldwide call on the United Nations
to open talks with its member nations who have therapists working
within those member nations to end the practice of self regulation
and registration of therapy and therapists, and bring about independent or
state regulation and registration of therapy and therapists.
We also call on the United Nations to insist that those nations,
also give all the help they can to the survivors of therapy abuse
including medical and legal assistance to bring their abusers
to justice wherever they may be.Under the Human Rights Act.

 


Subject Traps

In abusive therapy one of the most common problems a client can run into is the subject trap. It usually comes after a tremendous amount of probing and self disclosure by the abusive therapist. It’s a subject that is usually of little or no importance to the client - but means everything to abusive therapist.

When it starts it seems so innocent - all good traps are diguised to look like this. But its ultimate aim is to pull the client into whatever reality the abuser is trying to maintain.

Sex dominates therapy - so the Sex Subject Trap comes high on list. The client problems may be sex related - but it makes no difference - if the therapist needs are of the sexual nature. A sex subject trap will be set. Gradually every session will contain a ever increasing block of time devoted to that subject.

At first the abusive therapist will talk about him or herself - self disclousure - this is to tune into the client’s reality - but in order for his or her needs to be met he needs the client to talk - which is what the client is there for of course. That is one of the first traps in fact - “We can talk about anything here, nothing shocks me.” Which is the way it should be - but if the client wanted to talk about the subject they would be talking about it!

Another vital part of the trap is to make sure it doesn’t feel like a trap. Therefore any resistance to the subject trap is usually changed into something that will make the client feel uneasy - not talking about the subject. Comments are made to make the client feel like that the therapy room/session is a safe place - “If you can’t talk about it with me, who can you talk about it with?” With this statement an abusive therapist will often find out how important or dependent the client as become on him or her.

Which is another vital element of the trap - isolation. The more isolated a client is - the greater the chance of the trap working. Very often a therapist will go to great lengths to make sure the client only discusses his or her problems with them. Statements are often made along the lines of “Productive therapy can only occur if you totally trust me.” or “I’m not going to tell anyone your secrets.”

What they really want to say is something like “If you don’t tell me what I want to know, I’m not going to help you.” The simple truth is that this is not going to happen anyway. A subject trap can end in two ways - the client goes along with what the therapist wants or gets rejected by the therapist when it suits the therapist.

Its a no win situation for the client - so much of therapy is. Its just another strand of the spiders web - (abusive therapy) which is another form of trap. If you feel you been caught in a subject trap. Don’t even bother to try and discuss it with the therapist - what will happen is that you will be released from that trap - but another more complex one will be set for you at a later. Just walk away slowly.

A good therapist will never lead into any kind of trap - your well being will be there number one concern - in one word - RESPECT. Something not found in abusive therapy.


 

A brand new site for survivors check it out its really good!


http://www.traumatised.org/

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If you would like to connect up with other survivors please check out Vexnet by clicking on this link below.

 


Gil Parker

Gil Parker one of the founders of POPAN in the UK - passed away in her sleep on the 24th June 2008. She had been a resident in a nursing home in Eastbourne since 2000. Gil was a true friend of survivors in the UK - she had been a therapist herself. Originally trained as a nurse. Gil had spent most of the war years stationed in Ethiopia with a British Army Medical unit looking after the children of Haile Selassie When she returned to London after the war she first encounted the abuse of those who had survived the Nazi concentration camps in Europe.

She spent most of the post war years in the mental health field. In the seventies she first encounted therapy abuse - and by the eighties she had linked up with Jenny Fasel, Lady Mary Edwards and a survivor named Carol to form POPAN. By the mid-nineties Gil Parker was more or less working alone - although she held regularly meetings the 'Little Church' in the City Of London which were always well attended. She kept in regular contact with a number of survivors all over the UK by phone and by letter. And was well aware that the best people to help survivors were other survivors. Moving to Wales in the late nineties it looked like she was slowing down - but that was not the case. And when a couple of years later when she moved to Eastbourne she was still helping survivors. Even when she moved to the Nursing Home she was still helping those "Folk who just needed to be listened too" This very graceful lady said it all. She will be sadly missed.

Ray Hurford

3rd July 2008


 

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Material Copyright © 2009 {Ray Hurford)