Ghosts Of Christmas Past
A Survivor Responds!!!!
1.. Would you consider that a person abused in therapy and who is the main carer to an elderly person to be vulnerable?
2.. Would you consider that a person with nearly ten years of experience in dealing with those abused in therapy is a person who could by trusted by a vulnerable person?
YOU WOULD LIKE TO THINK SO, BUT PROBABLY INADVISABLE SADLY, GIVEN MY EXPERIENCE!
3.. Would you consider that the above person would hold a tremendous amount of power and influence over a vulnerable person?
4.. Would you consider that it would be very easy for that person to convince a vulnerable person to keep secrets?
YES, THEY KNOW ALL THE TRICKS AND KNOW THE VULNERABLE PERSON'S VULNERABILITIES AND FEARS SO OF COURSE
5.. Would you consider that the trust built up over five years would be considerable?
IF THE PERSON TRUSTING WAS ABLE TO TRUST, YES. IN MY CASE, I DON'T KNOW THAT I CAN EVER TRUST ANYONE EVER AGAIN.
6.. Would you consider that the impact of a relationship between two such people would be more intense due to the trust involved?
SADLY YES. THE VULNERABLE PARTY IS THE HIGH RISK PARTY HOWEVER AND STANDS TO LOSE/SUFFER MUCH MORE THAN THE OTHER.
7.. Would you consider that the ending of such a relationship at Christmas time without any explanation to be not only be sadistic? An act made even more sadistic by her own statements about what a difficult time of the year Christmas is for survivors, and that survivors need more support than ever.
OF COURSE, BUT WHY WOULD WE BE SURPRISED BY SADISM BY ANYONE IN THIS PROFESSION?
8.. Would you consider that it be acceptable for a vulnerable person to try and obtain the truth about why such a relationship came to such a traumatic ending?
YES, OF COURSE, ESPECIALLY GIVEN THE NATURE OF THE RELATIONSHIP AND THE FACT THAT THE OTHER WAS LIKELY PAID TO PROVIDE A SERVICE, DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY. THAT WOULD BE COMMON COURTESY AND RESPECTFULNESS; DUMPING SOMEONE WITHOUT SOME EXPLANATION (EVEN IF THE DUMPING IS A RESULT OF BAD BEHAVIOUR) THE PERSON ALWAYS DESERVES AN EXPLANATION OTHERWISE PSYCHOLOGICAL DISTRESS WILL RESULT (WE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THERAPISTS CAUSING US PSYCHOLOGICAL DISTRESS). PROFESSIONALLY AN EXPLANATION IS OWED.
9.. Would you consider it to be acceptable that a group of people who are supposed to be trying to 'Prevent' abuse - did nothing to prevent the abuse of this vulnerable person - despite having knowledge for many years that this person was in fact being abused?
NO, OF COURSE NOT. KINDA DEFEATS THE PURPOSE DOESN'T IT? MAKES THEM RATHER HYPOCRITICAL AND OFF IN THEIR OWN WORLD, IGNORING THE PEOPLE THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE HELPING. ITS THE OLD "I'M A GREAT HELPER, JUST DON'T REQUIRE THAT I ACTUALLY DO ANY HELPING, AND DON'T INTERRUPT MY POSITIVE SELF IMAGE OF BEING A HELPER WITH THE REALITY THAT I'M NOT" MENTALITY. THEY WANT TO THINK THE WORLD OF THEMSELVES BUT DO NOT ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING TO SUBSTANTIATE IT. EITHER THAT OR THEY ARE JUST MORALLY WEAK CHARACTERLESS INDIVIDUALS - TAKE YER CHOICE!
10.. Would you consider that a vulnerable person left in limbo for four years as to whether he was abused or not - due to a conspiracy of silence and misinformation to be acceptable?
NOT AT ALL - CONTRIBUTES TO THE PSYCHOLOGICAL DISTRESS AND LACK OF RESPECT, AS THOUGH THE PEOPLE WHO DID IT SOMEHOW THINK THE PERSON THEY TREAT THAT WAY DESERVES TO BE TREATED THAT WAY AND SHOULD SHUT UP AND GO AWAY. AND OFTEN THE PERSON TREATED THAT WAY FEELS JUST LIKE THAT, AND DOES JUST THAT. SENDS THE MESSAGE THAT THE PERSON DOES NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO ANSWERS WHEN S/HE DOES, DOES NOT HAVE NEEDS WHEN S/HE DOES, AND THAT THOSE NEEDS (THAT JUST DON'T EXIST) ARE NOT AS IMPORTANT AS THOSE OF OTHER PEOPLE. RUNS CONTRARY TO THE PHILOSOPHY OF TREATING OTHERS WITH RESPECT AND FORTHRIGHTNESS, BUT THEN EVERYTHING IN THIS FRIGGIN PROFESSION DOES.
Christmas 2000 and Beyond
This is an open letter to Gary Schoener and Sue Penfold both of you know me and are well respected in the area of therapy abuse. Below are a set of questions - depending on the answers - may help me understand a little bit more about how and why this could happen to anyone. We all know about the abuse in therapy - which you both rightly condemn, but what about those abused by other so called survivors? Or survivors abused by therapists outside of what is considered to be therapy. Abuse is abuse is abuse. Does it make any difference where it happens?
I look forward to hearing from you both and will publish your replies on this website unedited - (with due respect to the law).