Mutual Support

Alternative To Counselling

The big problem with counselling is it's one to one nature. When everything is going well it is a wonderful experience, not a real experience, but something still very enjoyable. Mutual support - sharing your problem or interest with others is much better. For starters it's real and it shouldn't cost anything. A counsellor or therapist would never recommended you talk to another counsellor or therapist, not unless he's referring you to them. Which could mean something as gone wrong, if this is the case he or she should still offer to see you. If he or she doesn't you've probably been abused and are in for therapy's version of 'pass the parcel' - you're the parcel.

 

With Mutual Support you run into a wide diversity of people. The support is not 100% but with a wide enough group there is usually someone out there who will offer some kind of support. The real breakthrough occurs when someone actually phones you for support. This is something else that is frowned upon in counselling and therapy. 'Cross Transference' is a no no. With mutual support it is a fundamental building block in recovery. Provided that anyone in a support role is given enough support themselves.

 

The recovery time is also not important in mutual support, initially a great deal of support is needed. This would be like going to see a counsellor or therapist every other day. Other survivors also find it a lot easier to understand that getting better is a stop/start process, and that the reality is that you don't get better, what happens is that you learn to live with the abuse. Anything traumatic will bring it back, when that happens it is knowing that mutual support exists - that makes you feel a lot more at ease. Mutual Support - giving to get - it's the way of life.