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Welcome to VEX-Support and Vexnet There are only a few rules, but they are important.

1.You must be a survivor of theraputic abuse.

2. Please treat all other survivors with respect. This does not mean that you

cannot express your point of view - just remember that other survivors have feelings as well.

3. For legal reasons you should not name your abuser, as much as you would like to.

4.As with all moderated discussion lists. The list owner as the final say in what

goes out. Vexnet is unmoderated but the same rules apply - no abuse of other survivors

will be tolerated. Whatever some survivor/therapists think zero tolerence means, to VEX

it means that survivors of therapy abuse are not a form of sick amusement.

Looking forward to seeing you on the list soon.

Yours sincerely

Ray Hurford

VEX HOME PAGE

and Mutual Support

The big problem with counselling is it's one to one nature. When everything is going well it is a wonderful experience, not a real experience, but something still very enjoyable. Mutual support - sharing your problem or interest with others is much better. For starters it's real and it shouldn't cost anything. A counsellor or therapist would never recommended you talk to another counsellor or therapist, not unless he's referring you to them. Which could mean something as gone wrong, if this is the case he or she should still offer to see you. If he or she doesn't you've probably been abused and are in for therapy's version of 'pass the parcel' - you're the parcel.

 

With Mutual Support you run into a wide diversity of people. The support is not 100% but with a wide enough group there is usually someone out there who will offer some kind of support. The real breakthrough occurs when someone actually phones you for support. This is something else that is frowned upon in counselling and therapy. 'Cross Transference' is a no no. With mutual support it is a fundamental building block in recovery. Provided that anyone in a support role is given enough support themselves.

 

The recovery time is also not important in mutual support, initially a great deal of support is needed. This would be like going to see a counsellor or therapist every other day. Other survivors also find it a lot easier to understand that getting better is a stop/start process, and that the reality is that you don't get better, what happens is that you learn to live with the abuse. Anything traumatic will bring it back, when that happens it is knowing that mutual support exists - that makes you feel a lot more at ease. Mutual Support - giving to get - it's the way of life.

Which brings me to VEX Support, VEX's discussion list. The idea behind this is to create a sense of survivor community in the UK. Telephone support is a one to one service, and I think is essential in getting better or learning how to cope. But you also need somewhere to discuss ideas and share some thoughts, meetings are good for this except that survivors are all over the UK - not an easy place to move around in at the best of times - but today! The other problem with meetings is that they take time to set up and if you have an idea or thought, waiting a month or so to share it with a group of survivors can be very frustrating.

VEX Support of course is also open to survivors worldwide. Its essential that any survivor where ever they are knows that they contact someone by phone or by email. Looking forward to seeing you on VEX support soon.